Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
What's gonna happen to Jason?
Well if there's nobody to release him to, he'll probably end up in a group home.
(turns to George, worried) Dad, a group home!
Oh c'mon Carmen, that sounds like fun! Bunk beds, sing-a-longs. [sings] Drive-bys are bad! Come on, making a quilt with the names of your fallen homies. "Gimme a sequin so I can put a teardrop on Spider."
(to the police officer) Excuse me, when is Jason McNamara gonna be released?
He's not. He's a minor and his parents are out of the country. We have no one to release him to.
Jason can't spend the night in jail!
I spent the night in jail once and nothing happened to me.
It's not the same, Dad, Jason's pretty!
Things are pretty good right now.
No, they're not. You're Mexican. You're in pain. Your people have been raped and pillaged by the conquistadores. I am so jealous.
What are you talking about? She was born in Burbank. She's got her own car and a closet full of clothes. You want to see a Mexican suffering, come back when I have to pay her cell phone bill.
[to Carmen] You're just going to wait on them like that? You know they're only asking you because you're a girl. That's so sexist.
You know what's funny, Kenzie? I ask Carmen something and sound comes out of your mouth.
It is so sad. So much head and so little in it. I can hear it rattle.
I never pushed Carmen.
George, you can't win. If you push kids and they fail, then it's your fault. And if you push kids and they succeed... actually, I don't know what that's like.
Look, Angie is the most important thing in my life and I'm not going to let some rich, good-looking dude make a move on her. God, I drove her to this. You know, last night, she was wearing the avocado mask and rollers. She had a little leg stubble. I should've just pictured Salma Hayek and went for it.
[to Angie about Spencer Vogel] I paid him $10,000 to break it off with you and never see you again.
You paid him to get out of my life? How dare you!
Yeah, how dare you! Hey, man, you hated my guts and you never offered me a dime.
Angie, there's something you need to know about your dad. Linda, he kissed our mommy. And I'm not talking about a peck on the cheek. I'm talking full-on mustache to mustache!
What?!
Daddy?
Vic [to Benny] You told!
No, it was Ernie.
Hey, hey. I only told because it wasn't fair, all right? The only reason George let him go out with Linda is because Vic paid him two thousand dollars!
Dude!
What?!
You pimped me out for two thousand dollars?!
Why you gotta say it like that, negative?
[to George] I want to date your sister and I'm going to.
No, you're not because I forbid it!
Forbid?! Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You do not use that word on Victor Garcia Lantigua Palmero. Castro forbid me from leaving the island, but I did it! My parents forbid me from marrying Emilina, but I did it! The president of my condo association forbid me from having pets, but I feed stray cats every night! I do what I want!
[After George catches Jason in Carmen's room and suspects the two of them had sex]
Mr. Lopez, you took me into your house. I wouldn't betray you like that. Besides, you'd be able to hear us. I mean, we can hear everything you're doing.
Angie [to George] You had to be a screamer.
Vic [about Jason's behavior] Mood swings, aggressiveness, smashing things. Either he's doing drugs or he's my ex-wife.
Carmen [to George about Jason's father] Why does Jason keep trying to please him? Nothing he ever does is good enough for him.
When you grow up without love, you'll do anything for it. When I was a kid, I considered lighting myself on fire so my mom would wrap me in a blanket and hug me.
That's awful. You and Mom love me unconditionally, right?
We won't know until you're on fire.
Okay, who wants their buns toasted?
Wish me luck. I'm off to broker my first deal as an agent.
What's in the briefcase?
Breath mints and a little black comb.
(to Benny): Benny...Your house caught on fire.
What?
We thought you were dead, Mom, Your house burnt down!
That's not funny!
We're not kidding! The fireman said it started in the bedroom. Did you leave a cigarette burning?
No! I'm not an idiot! I put the cigarette out on the ashtray and I dumped the ashtray in the trash can!
The trash can by the drapes?
...Dammit! (Turns to Angie) "Happy Mother's Day, Benny. Hope you enjoy these FLAMMABLE DRAPES!"
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
