Black Jesus is much sexier than White Jesus.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
NNurse
And have you considered the possibility of adoption?
I don't think anyone would want a pregnant 17-year-old.
I had a... sex dream... about Maeve.
That's brilliant! Was it ALS challenge or just your basic dick sneeze?
I can imagine it's hard when you're comparing your lack of experience to someone's sexual history.
PLPro-lifer
What? No, I have experience.
You do?
PLPro-lifer
Yeah. Hand jobs, fingering, oral, 69ing, a bit of anal stuff.
That's... extensive.
PLPro-lifer
Yeah, but no sex. That's sacred, between a man and a woman on their wedding night.
[about sex] It feels good to wank, so it must be like that, but better. And doing it with someone who likes you must be awesome, because they really get you. Maybe the two of you become one, like the Spice Girls said.
SSarah
Don't worry, love. I got three kids, and I feel way more guilty about the ones that I had than the ones I chose not to. It's better not being a mum at all than being a bad one.
I might have a mild to moderate crush on Maeve.
Yeah, no shit. What gave it away?
She, uh... she touched my eyebrows, and now I have an erection.
[about his dog Madam] She's like the Kim Kardashian of tiny dogs.
TTanya
When we're having sex, I feel like I've never seen a vagina before. But I have seen one, because I've got one, and I've looked at it a lot.
JMJackson Marchetti
You know, it's weird. You're my age, but wise. You're like my mum... in a little man's body. Like a little mum man. No offense.
Sorry, who are you?
Whoever you want me to be.
(awkward pause)
Also, I'm Lily.
Do you know how long I've been called Cock Biter? Four years. People I've never met call me Cock Biter to my face. I bit Simon Furthassle's scrote. I had sex with four guys at the same time. I fucked my second cousin. I'll give you a hand job for a fiver if you like. Do you know how it started? Simon tried to kiss me at Claire Tyler's 14th birthday. I said no. So he told everyone I'd given him a blow job and bitten his dick, and that was it. This kind of thing sticks. And it hurts, and no one deserves to be shamed, not even Ruby.
You know Glen Jacobs, right? Where does he live?
In his parents' garage. There's loads of bean bags in it.
Okay, where is it?
Oh, I don't know. I just sort of arrive places.
RRuby
It's my vagina!
What?
RRuby
It's mine, okay? And I need your help. You and that weird sex kid who looks like a Victorian ghost.
To be clear, I don't want to have sex with you specifically. Just a human man with a penis.
That's... great for my self-esteem.
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