Miss Brandon, do you have anything to say?
B Ms. Brandon
Yes, you're even better looking than I imagined.
I'll get those paper bags now.
B Ms. Brandon
When Harry was four his hair was dark like his Uncle Otto. Who would think it would've lightened up so much?
Yes, it goes nicely with the robe.
Then I take it we have met.
B Ms. Brandon
A long time ago.
I'm afraid you have the advantage Ms. Brandon I just don't remember you.
B Ms. Brandon
Well how could you? The last time I saw you, you were only five.
B Ms. Brandon
Harry, I'm your mother.
[after Bull's outburst] I have never seen Bull act like that.
Yes. They can be dangerous when they're wounded. Oh, come on, I'm kidding. But if you can't laugh at other people who can you laugh at?
Hi there. I'm Harry Stone, and you are…?
Vincent Frago and Iris Keller, second-degree obscenity.
Yes, Your Honor, these two were apprehended making a porno flick in Central Park.
Hold on, there, Counselor. The report clearly states that both parties were clothed at the time of arrest.
L Leonard
Yes. But before that, they were naked as jaybirds.
Oh, did I mention that I have a witness?
L Leonard
Leonard Bloom, Your Honor. I saw the whole thing. Unclothed bodies, writhing around in the grass, contorted dances of lust, screams of sexual delight...
Sustained. But damn well put, sir.
VF Vincent Frago
At least I'm not some blue-nosed hypocrite who talks real righteous, but gets his mail in plain brown wrappers!
LB Leonard Bloom
Listen, you, I don't have to take your kind of filth!
[pounding gavel] All right, sit down, Mr. Bloom...
VF Vincent Frago
What's the matter, Fish Face? The truth hurt?
LB Leonard Bloom
Not as much as my fist !
[Bloom throws a punch at Vincent, but Bull catches his hand in mid-air, causing Bloom to gasp in pain.]
[Still holding Bloom by the hand, Bull drags him up to the bench.]
You want him removed from the courtroom, Your Honor?
I don't that'll be necessary, will it, Mr. Bloom?
LB Leonard Bloom
I just want to leave here with the same number of fingers I came in with.
You tell him. [nudges his client]
G God
I am known by many names.
Pick one and tell it to the judge.
G God
I've been called the Final Cause, the Supreme Judge, the Infinite Spirit but you can just call me God.
[to Lana] You've been saving this one for me, haven't you?
[Lana nods]
G God
I chose to manifest myself in this form because I didn't want my presence to be noticed.
To what do we owe this visit?
G God
The ways of the Lord surpass thine understanding. Unto mankind, my ways are wondrous strange.
Your Honor, the defendant went into Blumberg's Coffee Shop and there he said unto Blumberg: "Give me an egg salad sandwich for though I have no cash you and all your descendants will be blessed."
G God
It's better when I do it.
Blumberg was unimpressed and told him to leave. And then he told Blumberg to be fruitful and multiply. But not in those words.
G God
You know, if it weren't for Eve, there'd be no reason for you to wear any clothes.
She did it so we could get some work done.
G God
Tell me, do you worship regularly?
Honey, at my age, I don't do anything regularly.
C Carla
[About Harry] What a guy.
What were you two talking about?
C Carla
The judge and I were having a personal discussion.
C Carla
What business is it of yours?
You're right. You're right. It is none of my business. But if you want a little friendly advice: Forget it. He's not your type.
C Carla
Oh, but I suppose he's your type.
He's a sensitive, intellectual, complex man. Eclectic in nature, multidimensional in personality and, well, frankly, he would need a woman of similar qualities to stimulate him.
C Carla
Honey, I don't know what those words mean but I do know what it takes to please a man.
Physical stimulation is not enough.
C Carla
I won't use gadgets.
That's-That's not what I meant. You see, dear, most psychologists and experts agree that the way a man and a woman primarily respond to each other is cerebral.
The brain. Sex takes place between the ears. You need a bond.
Who wouldn't be? International crises threaten us with the possibility of nuclear holocaust and the increase in violent crime has raised the odds that one of us is gonna be murdered in our sleep tonight.
That ought to perk him up.
I have never known Dan to be late before. I hope he's all right.
Yeah. But it's his own fault. I mean, I always make it a rule: Never get involved with people I work with.
You work with rapists, junkies, muggers and flashers.
That does make it easier.
Personally, I don't see the big attraction about Mel Torme. I like singers that stick to the tune.
Leontyne Price…Luciano Pavarotti…that bird on Sesame Street's not bad either.
I feel great. Thanks. Whatever the medication is, it seems to be working. I don't feel so drained anymore. You know, I feel vigorous ... like I could ride my bike around the park.
You know, my doctor made me get one of those exercise bicycles.
Really? Does it have one of those little machines on it that measures your blood pressure and your pulse rate?
Used to, but I took it off.
Make room for the ashtray.
The guy in the dress wants another strip search.
I mean, gloves with a cocktail dress?
Might we have a language problem here?
We definitely might, Your Honor. My client speaks only a few words of English and we haven't been able to find a Russian interpreter.
But we are working on it.
I understand you're looking for somebody who speaks Russian.
No, but I'll give it a shot.
[after Yakov threatens to burn down the courtroom] All right. Everyone, clear out of here.
Harry, we are not gonna leave you here alone.
I really don't think this is the time to question the judge's authority.
Will you listen to yourselves, people?
This is my client and I'm staying. What we have here is a frightened, lonely, confused human being. A stranger in our land alone in his misery and I, for one, will not desert him in this, this desperate time of need. [Liz handcuffs herself to Yakov]
The police have cordoned off the whole building. They're not letting anyone else in who doesn't have business with the court.
Got in? They estimate there's a couple of hundred of them roaming around the building.
Thank God they're sealed in here with us, and not out on the streets terrorizing the public.
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