How do I look, yellow man?
...Y-You look like you're about to tell your friend not to come to school tomorrow, man.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[drunkenly] Goddamn, Shrimp... you’re just, like... you’re just, like FUCKED, man. [Charlie takes another gulp of his spaghetti drink] And I ain’t even trying to be offensive or nothing like that, but... I don’t know how you had a girlfriend in the first place.
That is why I do not even bother.
Yeah, I know. I’m just saying, you’re just, like... you’re just, like, really, really fucked. I-I genuinely feel bad, it’s not even your fault, man. You’re just a shrimp, you was born like that. You was born like that, you was born a shrimp. You can’t even--... It’s your nature.
W-Wait, you're Shrimpina, right?
JJennifer
My name is Jennifer.
I have never met this woman in my entire life.
...Pim, who is this? Where... Where did you meet this woman?
I went where Shrimp told me to go. The cafe on 153 Meep Boulevard.
Pim, there's no cafe at 153, there's a cafe at 158. You went to the wrong place.
W-W... Well, wait a second, what about that thing you said at the cafe? About... like, moving on or something?
JJennifer
Yeah. My boyfriend Jason died in a motorcycle accident a few months ago.
Jesus Christ, man, Pim. Pim. Aauuughh.
Where is Shrimpina?
I have no idea, probably at home? I don't know. P-Pim, did you even see Shrimpina one ti--once?
Listen, I-- I've seen way too many people get their careers ruined over old Halloween costumes. I'm not doing it.
Why don't you just put on some facepaint and be a zombie or something?
Dude, facepaint gets people in way more trouble than anything else. I mean, I have no idea what's gonna be offensive in ten years!
Oh, c'mon, Charlie! Where's your Halloween spirit? When you put on a costume, you can be anything!
Pim, that's insane.
RGRotoscope Guy
Whoa! Is that fucking blackface, dude?
FDThe Forest Demon
No! No, no, no, this isn't blackface. I'm an actual demon.
RGRotoscope Guy
Bro, please tell me that's not blackface, man.
WWitch
Are you fucking serious?
PGParty Guest
Not cool, man.
FDThe Forest Demon
No! No, no, no, no! You don't understand -- I'm literally a forest demon from across the bridge. This isn't a costume.
RGRotoscope Guy
Get the fuck out, man!
[The party guests kick the Forest Demon to the ground and beat him relentlessly, tearing him limb from limb.]
See, that's exactly why I don't dress up for Halloween. Right there. That's the reason.
Oh, that movie was EPIC!! What do you think, Charlie?
[While slurping drink]: I do- I don't know, man. I didn't really enjoy it that much, to be honest.
What, really?
Yeah, okay. Okay, look. To be completely fair, I DID really enjoy the scene when Bimblar went rogue, and he beat that woman in the head with the hammer. I thought it was artistically- and, like, tastefully done. I thought it was a well done sequence.
[Charlie has a headache listening to Allan and Glep playing a fighting video game at high volume]
Hey, can you guys turn that down? I just have a little bit of a headache.
Oh, sorry. [he turns down the video game's loud volume]
No, no, it's-it's all good, it's fine. It’s just that, erm... these guys started doing construction inside of my place at like 6:00-- [two fairies suddenly fly into the office and one of them blows a loud bugle next to Charlie's ear] ARGH!! THAT WAS RIGHT IN MY EAR, DUDE!!
FFairies
[in unison] We officially deliver a royal decree from the Princess of the Enchanted Forest! She's been unable to smile for a royal portrait and needs your assistance!
[gets overexcited] Th-the Enchanted Forest? Oh my God! I LOVE THE ENCHANTED FOREST!!!
My ear's still ringing from that noise.
[Pim recalls a childhood memory with his dad Steven, seeing a wizard and a goblin in the Enchanted Forest]
Daddy, Daddy! Can we go inside and do an epic quest with those mythical creatures?
SSteven
No, Pim! The Enchanted Forest isn't for children. It's only for heroes with unrelenting dedication, bravery and wisdom. Perhaps one day.
Oh, I love you, Daddy!
[Pim and his father kiss each other on the lips. Scene transitions back to the present]
[sighs with relief] I can't believe after all these years, I'm finally here.
[pause] You kiss your dad on the mouth?
[After Charlie and Pim wake up in a cauldron]
[groans] Where are we?
Did I pick the wrong hand?
[Charlie notices they are now further away from the castle than before]
Oh, we were RIGHT THERE, MAN!
Oh, this is gonna be great. I can’t wait to find the perfect Christmas tree. Which one do you guys wanna get? There’s - Oh, there’s a bunch.
Yeah. Look, look, uh, let’s just make it quick. I really don’t want to be here all night.
What’s up with you today, Charlie?
Huh? What- What are you talking about?
I don’t know. You just - I don’t know. It seems like you’re agitated or something.
I’m not - I’m not agitated, Pim. I just don’t want to be working on Christmas Eve. And I think that’s a pretty reasonable position to have.
When you’re in this mood, I don’t know if you realize, but it actually affects everyone else’s mood. It - it brings us down a bit.
Wait. Hold on. Hold- No, no. It affects you. Nobody else- Allan, are you affected by whatever- whatever is supposed to be happening?
I don’t really care.
Are you affected?
I just want to find a tree.
Okay. So, in other words, he’s not affected. See, Pim, here’s the thing-just because you are, you know, very positive and cheery about everything, does not mean everyone else has to conform to that.
I’m just saying, it seems like you’re often in this mood, like, it’s not just a one-off thing. It seems like you’re often like this.
What do you mean? What is that - What is that supposed to mean?
Well, it was the same with Desmond, wasn't it? I had to get you motivated for that.
Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay.
Charlie, you didn’t want to do that job, and I had to get you motivated, like I often have to do.
Okay. Yeah, Desmond was how many months ago. Also, dude, that’s a weird thing to bring up specifically, because that was one of the instances where you were not in the best mood. So the fact that you’re roping me…into asking me.
Charlie, I’m just bringing stuff up, and it’s not just Desmond.
Oh.
It’s - it’s every job we do. You never want to do anything. It sometimes just gets a bit exhausting. That’s all I’m saying.
You know, I could do the same thing back to you. I could throw stuff at you…
Okay, say it. Tell me. I’d love to say what people are saying about me.
[The Smiling Friends approach a Christmas tree to chop down with an axe.]
Okay, how about this tree?
Yeah, it’s fine. Let’s just do it.
It looks fine to me.
Alright. Pim, do you want to chop it down?
Yeah, sure.
No, no, you know what? Let me do it. [Charlie grabs the axe from Allan.] I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll do it.
[Charlie starts chopping down the tree with the said axe.]
Careful, Charlie.
Pim, I'm just helping out, right? Something that I never do, according to you, right? Oh, is this- is just putting anyone in a bad mood, huh? Is this putting anyone in a bad mood?
[The Christmas tree that Charlie chops down ends up falling onto him, and kills Charlie in the process. Pim, Allan and Glep are all stunned with silence.]
[With the help of Pim and Allan, Gwimbly goes back to his old video game company, Insane Ground Breaking Games, and meets with his old CEO]
(in between dipping chicken nuggets in at least 7 different sauces and eating them endlessly) Ah, Gwimbly! Nice to see you after all these years! I see your "solo career" is going successfully, hm!
[ready to rip the CEO's head off, and yelling so loud he audibly distorts his mic] Oh, I swear to God, if I had my Gwimbly GUN ON ME RIGHT NOW I'D-- [runs forward to punch him, but gets held back by Pim]
[after offering to make Gwimbly a skin in a game] Only if you... kiss my nugget. [holds a sauce coated nugget up]
I hate this guy.
[enraged] Oh, FUCK YOU!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.