“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Otis

Turn off the fan!

Pip

[unable to hear Otis over the fan's noise] What?!

Otis

Turn off the big fan!

Pip

Of course, I'm your biggest fan! These creative types are so insecure.

Otis

[watching a safety film, showing him getting hurt] Bravo! Bravo!

Bessy

Ah, zip it and eat your popcorn. [iris out to black]

Otis

Jealous. [Bessy is heard hitting him] Ow!

Freddy

[pressing buttons on the coffee machine] Okay, so that's a half-caf, extra hot...

Quarter-caf, semi-hot.

Freddy

[nervous] Ex-quarter-hot, extra-half...

Quarter-caf, semi-hot, extra foam.

Freddy

Extra foam, extra half...

[irritated] Extra foam!

Freddy

[hysterical] EXTRA FOAM, SEMI-HOT, CAF QUARTER!!! [screams as the machine sprays foam on him]

Farmer

Tractor go boom.

Otis

This is terrible! What have I done?!

Bessy

Well, let's review. You interrupted Peck's yoga class, did a lame Stumpity Joe impression, and... oh, right. YOU BROKE THE FARMER!!!

Pip

We're in a lot of trouble, aren't we?

Otis

Yeah, a lot of trouble.

Abby

You go first.

Bessy

No way, you go first.

Otis

So, how are we doing on the milk, gals? [sees empty buckets] What? What's going on? We should be snorkeling in milk by now.

Bessy

Look, no one but the farmer is clamping any electric doohickeys to my milk-giving areas.

Otis

Bessy, my bashful bovine, it couldn't be safer. Here, let me demonstrate. [fits the hose on his udders] Put these on...

Pip

Otis, that's not how it looks in the instructions.

Otis

Relax, I've seen the farmer do this, like, a hundred times. Okay, turn it on, turn it on.

Pip

Okay, you're the boss. [turns the dial, turning the machine on]

Otis

Mm-hm. Oh, it's quite, pleasant, actually. It's like a gentle tug. [chuckles, then starts to feel uncomfortable] Okay, slightly less gentle now. [yells in pain] AAH, OH! MY UDDERS... ARE... ON... FIRE!!!

Pip

[mishearing Otis saying "fire"] Higher? You got it! [turns the dial up higher]

Otis

[shrilly] TURN IT OFF!!!

Otis

[moans in pain]

Bessy

[laughs] That is one funny milking machine!

Otis

[high voice] Guys, I'm gonna need some private time. [crawls across the floor]

Pig

[weakly] Otis... Strange dream... Music... Corn everywhere. [his stomach gurgles and he groans] I don't feel well...

Otis

[sighs in disappointment]

Freddy

It probably isn't digested yet! We can still use it! [jumps on Pig's stomach] GIVE US BACK THAT CORN, YOU PINK CORN-GOBBLING BLIMP!

Otis

Now that is what I call a grade A... [the egg blows up in his face] Uhhhh, what exactly did you put in the energy drink?

Bessy

Yogurt.

Peck

Vitamins.

Abby

Love.

Otis

And?

Freddy

[holding red sticks] And pepper!

Otis

[grabs the red sticks from Freddy] Those aren't pepper shakers. That's dynamite!

Otis

[chased by his opponent during the first fighting match] AAH! MAD COW, MAD COW!

Bessy

Now, this-- [Otis gets punched] ...is entertainment! Pass the popcorn.

Abby

Oh, I can't look! It's too much for my delicate constitution. GET HIM, OTIS! TEAR HIM TO SHREDS!

[pretending to lose to Otis] Ow, that hurt. Oh, I am losing consciousness.

Otis

[singing over a montage of his wrestling matches] They say it's over, oh, but they're all wrong. 'Cause it's never-ending, 'til you hear the gong! Otis, you're the best, you're on top, you're gonna go all the way, you'll never stop! Otis, you're the best, you'll always win. Overcoming an obstacle, you're the wizard of winning... [stops singing at the end of the montage] What, you guys never heard that one?

Otis

[dizzy from being punched by his bull opponent] I am but a humble breadmaker.

Otis

[standing up to his bull opponent] Okay, fella, I may not be, you know, a real wrestler, but... but you and that boss of yours made one big mistake. You messed with my friends. Prepare for a bovine blizzard!

Otis

I am so a real wrestler, in your face! [blows raspberry]