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S1 E15

Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15

“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

74,544 quotes · page 3466 of 4970

“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15

In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)

Nanny Fine, you're alone with the kid for two minutes and he wants to quit show business?!

If only we could put her in a room with Tori Spelling.

I could kill you. I could rip out your heart with my bare hands!

...She doesn't have a key to the house, does she? Oh, Mr. Sheffield, maybe it's all for the best.

No, it is not all for the best, Miss Fine; it is not all for the best at all!

But you yourself said that the kid was a pain in the butt!

Alright, Miss Fine, let me see if you can follow this, hmm? Sky: blue! Fire: hot. Actor: pain in the butt! You are going to rectify this situation.

Wow, that sounds painful...

. . .

You are going to march yourself upstairs, put on something smashing, take him to the best restaurant in town and order the most expensive thing on the menu!

Well, all right. But I'm not taking the limo!

Oh, yes, you are!

Slave driver! [Leaves and returns] But there is no way you are buying me a new dress!

Oh yes— [Realizes what's going on] GET OUT!

Niles, did my mother call?

Well, I'm not sure. There was one call. A sob, a sigh and a long plaintive "oooooooyyyy."

Either that's her or AT&T is really depressed that we switched to Sprint. I can't believe she would stoop to prank guilt calls.

How low can she go?

You're talking about a woman who can grow a tumor on command.

This should be quite a dinner. Miss Fine not speaking to her mother, Miss Margaret not speaking to you. That'll leave the bulk of the conversation to you and Sylvia.

Oh, God.

Oh, sir, it won't be that bad. You'll tell her how you got started in theater and she'll tell you how she removes unwanted hair.

[Seeing C.C. on the floor] Cheers! Must be 5 o'clock somewhere.

I haven't been drinking, Nanny Fine. I just slid off the couch.

And Ted Kennedy's nose is just sun-damaged.

Just for the future, Mr. Sheffield, when the kids say: "Fran said no", that's the big robot going: "Danger, Will Robinson!"

You know, I could have stayed in England.

I'll make it simple for you. Children are like a brassiere.

[With a pained look on his face] One part of me says, "Get out the window, quick!" But the other part just has to know why.

Because they divide and separate.

Your mother never told you that?

No, but we always thought Mummy should have talked more about her underwear.

SSally

Max what are we really talking about here, I mean in one word.

Support.

SSally

Good, Fran in one word.

One word? (Laughs) Good Bloody luck (Continues to laugh and smile, Looks at Fran then looks at Sally and the Audience and nods his head)

Hey mister (Max looks at Fran while still smiling) they had to turn the music on to get you off the stage at the Tony awards (Fran points at Max and makes a talking motion with her hand, Max takes a deep breath and looks at Fran then the audience)

SSally

Kids, Maxwell will you at least concede that perhaps you could have been a little bit more sympathetic to Fran's feelings on the Picket line?

Well I suppose I, maybe i Might could have been (making faces the whole time)

I missed that Sally your gonna have to send me a transript

Well look it was a very important night for me, your important to me, ergo i wanted you there

Ergo, who's ergo? (Max looks at Fran)

WIWoman in the audience

Sally Sally, Girlfriend, Did you hear what the man just said? he said your important to him.

(looking at Max) it that what you said?

(looking at Fran) Yes

Well why can't they just communicate, you know if we were running the world (referring to women) there would be no wars, Right girls? (all the women in the audience agree).

But because, because there would be so much bloody talk there would be no time for war, isn't that true gentlemen? (nobody in the audience agree's with him except Niles and Brighton)

oeh, i have located the black box [holds up some kind of computer] i can't believe he just leaves it lying around [Fran squeals, Maxwell walks in and Fran quickly sits on a drawer]

Miss Babcock...Babs baby [Maxwell stands next to C.C.]

ssshhh

Babi honey

No it's alright i do this all the time [Fran makes a face as Maxwell looks shocked] how do you think i now were he is every minute? Now what was his password?

Busted?

No Maxwell would never [turns] oeh, Maxwell i uh was just looking for the [mumbles something] file and i just rememberd where i left it [walks out]

Stay out of the guestroom! [C.C. quickly walks the other way]

So what brings you here, Miss Fine? [sits on his desk]

Oh, nothing.

Children are doing well?

Uh huh.

Household running okay?

Oh yeah.

Anything on fire?

No, no.

Then get out!

What?

I was just thinking...before you came into my life, I never had the need for an emergency transvestite.

EErik

Don't you have a big reunion tomorrow night?

[Swooning] Yeah...

EErik

Well, I'm the hombre who's taking you.

Oh, my God! This is amazing! This is like a dream! How could this be?

We told him how desperate you were.

[Still ecstatic] Oh, THANK YOU!!

So, Ms. Fine, back from the batting cages. How did my boy do?

Well... He made contact with the ball. And, er, he'll have a great career if the Bee Gees ever get back together.

I can't wait to hit the buffet tables in Atlantic City. He's got a safari jacket with 40 pockets in it. We won't have to order room service.

Honey, to you, Brighton's an obnoxious brother. But to other little girls, he's 79 pounds of pure stud muffin.

Ew!

Niles, pour me some more tea. [Niles ignores her and continues chopping vegetables] I want some more tea, Niles. [Niles continues to ignore her.] You are a butler, now buttle!

[Maxwell enters the kitchen. C.C. doesn't notice, but Niles does.]

Would you like some tea, Miss Babcock?

You know damn well I want some more tea, you imbecile, now pour!!

C.C.!

Maxwell!

Don't speak to Niles like that; poor man isn't a mind-reader!

But... But, Maxwell—!

Oh, it's alright, sir. Perhaps my hearing isn't what it once was. Forgive me.

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