I'm on vacation, actually.
AMAlex Miller
Vacation? And you thought you'd come to Memphis and kick the hornet's nest, huh?
And have some ribs.
AMAlex Miller
[mocking] And have some ribs. Yeah.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Hi, this is Wynn Duffy in 236. Could you send up another pot of coffee, please? Because this one tastes like my ass on Sunday. Thank you, dear.
Miller, would you call this a herd, a gaggle, or a flock of assholes?
AMAlex Miller
I would call this a United Nations of assholes.
Well, that's funny because we were just discussing ratifying some shit.
RRoscoe
"King Lear"? Shakespeare? Basically, Lear split his kingdom in half and gave it to his two daughters, deal being Lear get to hang out and keep 100 knights. They agree, and then later, these two bitch-ass daughters, they change the deal. They like, "well, daddy, what you need with 100 knights? 50, 10, 5? What you need with one?" Lear says, "reason not the need." Hot damn! Reason not the need.
Uh-huh. I don't understand what these two are talking about, but I got to admit I'm interested.
RRoscoe
Well, in the analogy, we be Lear, and we just want what's rightfully ours, and then we out, never to be seen again. And, well, they the bitches. You can have them and they kingdom.
[to Raylan] Jesus Christ. Is this real, or has early-onset dementia finally set in, and I'm starting to see you in my waking hours?
This conversation is just you and me.
Hold on, Dewey, I'm gonna put you on speaker phone.
Wow, you got yourself caught between the Detroit rock and the shitkicker hard place. Trafficking in weight, like you said you never would. What happened Wynn? Did you finally just get greedy?
[quietly] I don't know what happened.
Alright, Raylan, alright, you win. You wanna find Dewey here's what you do. First of all go to a gas'n'go or whatever and get yourself a map of Kentucky. Follow route 9 southbound with your finger, follow it way way down until you're pointing right at... your asshole, and then what you gonna do is you're gonna take your hand and just go ahead and cram it right up inside. You gotta make sure, Raylan, that you do it in a way so that the rest of you just keeps on following your hand right up your ass, right up inside all that shit you're so full of, Raylan. And then what you gonna do is you're just gonna [whistles] wink out of existence forever.
Proud of that one, aren't you?
...It'll do.
DCDanny Crowe
I had this buddy that ran a puppy mill in Sarasota, and he got popped for a DUI. He asked me to take care of his puppies. And I found this, this litter of dead puppies. I guess the mom had died when she was giving birth and couldn't take care of the brood. But there was one puppy who was barely alive, and it was Chelsea. And I, I raised her up.
You know, I spend most of my time in the company of criminals. Now one could argue I'm guilty by association, but between me and you, I'm every bit as despicable as they are.
Mr. Picker, the only explaining I've ever done in my life was to my Mama when she caught me sneaking in after my curfew. And you ain't my Mama. But I'll indulge you with a short answer to your question: Shit happens, Mr. Picker.
She tell you anything about why she was at Duffy's hotel suite?
[imitating Katherine's accent] "Visiting an old family friend. Is that a crime?"
Well, not compared to racketeering, conspiracy, and murder, no.
Our friends in Mexico are furious about the bullshit that happened in the desert—
I need you to be quiet.
—they're this close to sending a goddamn hit squad up here.
I need you to stop.
I say we put Boyd Crowder's head in a goddamn box!
[standing] Mr. Picker!
I may not know a lot about a lot of things, but I do know how to blow shit up.
Just so I'm clear, you're not gonna kill me? 'Cause I was worried for a minute.
Oh, be worried.
Yeah?
'Cause that web of bullshit you spun around yourself to protect yourself? I'm gonna use it to strangle the life out of you and take away everything you got. Then you're gonna wish I'd have blacked you out—with a bullet to the head.
Well, this feels like one of those "time will tell" deals which, as a free man, I have plenty of. Question is: how much time you got?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.