This flat is in a wonderful position, isn't it? I mean, fifteen minutes from the West End, it's fifteen minutes from the motorway...
And fifteen minutes from the ground.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
(to Trigger at the bar in a yuppy club) I think we're on a winner here Trig, play it nice and cool son, nice and cool. You know what I mean? (falls through bar) Drink up Trig, we're leaving.
Well it was one Sunday many years ago!
Where was I?
You was down the Mountbatten estate selling them gas conversion kits.
You bastard!!! You sent me all the way down there knowing I had chicken pox just so you and Annie bleedin' Oakley could have the flat to yourselves.
It weren't like that Rodders! I was trying to present you with a challenge.
What, selling gas conversion kits on an all electric estate? That is a challenge and a half.
Jevon! Jevon!
JJevon
What?
See the blonde bird? I've had her! And her mate. See that black sort at the back there? She's crazy about me! Phones me all the time.
JJevon
You're one hell of a man, Mickey.
Mickey, are you doing this for charity?
What d'you mean?
Well, I just wondered whether it was sponsored bullshit.
I'm telling you the truth, Rodney!
It's a videotape recorder, isn't it? It's got a little computer and everything. When you go on your holidays, this thing will record all your programmes for you.
Amazing!
Yeah, nothing but the best.
How does it know when you're on holiday?
You send it a postcard, don't you?
I thought the bloke you bought it from said an idiot could work it?
Yes, yes, yes, that's right yes! Rodney! Come along, it's gone six o'clock!
Yes all right! Keep the noise down, will you?
Cor blimey, look at the state of that, I've seen blokes crawl out of potholes looking smarter than that.
[Del has just taken delivery of several boxes of blow up dolls, thinking they were children's dolls.]
Del, these dolls ain't called Barbie or Sindy. These dolls are called Lusty Linda and Erotic Estelle.
You can't have dolls with names like that.
You can if you go to the right shops!
[The Trotters discover the blow up dolls.]
Bloody hell! What have we got ourselves into here?
Well this is your fault! You just go rushing into things and to Hell with the consequences!
That's because I've got a high profile!
Yeah! High profile and low forehead!
[Albert doesn't quite understand the concept of the blow up dolls.]
They're big for little dolls, ain't they?
Unc, they ain't... ordinary dolls. You see them advertised in... magazines.
(starts to hunt around the living room) Where's that Radio Times?
Albert, have a day off, will you?! I mean... seedy magazines, for kinky, sleazy little men.
You're pulling my leg!
Oh, am I? You have a look at this, then! (produces an adult magazine from his jacket)
No chance of that happening with Rodney, is there? World War III! This plonker can't even get Channel Three!
Have you actually read the instructions to your video recorder?
No, I haven't actually read them. Why?
Well why don't you do that small thing, Derek? I think you'll find it really interesting, because we have instructions in German, Spanish, French and Italian and not one single word in English. And that's why your machine don't work. It was made strictly for sale in Europe.
But we are in Europe. We're in the common market, aren't we?
Yes, I know that, but we have a different electrical system to the rest of Europe. And that's why your machine's on the blink. Its components are burning out. It is what's technically known as "knackered."
What is the matter with everyone today? Trigger's done nothing but moan, you've got a face like a constipated rat. At least when Del Boy comes in, he cracks a joke and has a laugh!
It is due to the activities of the aforementioned Del Boy that I have a face like a constipated rat! Derek popped in to see me this afternoon.
How is he?
A lot richer than before he popped in to see me this afternoon. He sold me some video recorders, 70 pounds each, I snapped them up.
70 nicker each? What, they fall off the back of a lorry?
If they did, they were going around the bend in Düsseldorf!
How'd you mean?
I've just discovered that these machines only work on the continental current. To make them work on the British system would take a transformer the size of a suitcase, and an electrician of such genius I'd have to go head-hunting at Cape Canaveral!
Why have I got bloody cornflakes again?
It's cause I can't get any food in that freezer! It's filled up with tomatoes he bought last week.
Hello, Cassandra, very pleased to meet you. Rodney has told me all about you. Don't worry, I'll try not to shout it all about.
That's very nice of you, Derek. Rodney's told me all about you as well, although I must admit I didn't believe him... until now.
AArnie
Doctors gave me six months to live.
Well, you don't want to take too much notice of these doctors, Arnie. They'll say anything to get rid of you.
(upon seeing the chains) What'd you do, rob Mr. T?
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