(to Mr. Peterson) So is it Young Lennox, or Old Bill?
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[After Del lies to Lisa that he used to be a Royal Marine Commando, and had a bad landing from a faulty parachute.]
LLisa
I always thought Marines were, you know, taller.
He used to be much taller, but like he said, he had a bad landing.
[Del proves to know little about hang-gliding.]
AAndy
We've got some great thermals today.
Thermals? Oh, what a shame! I'm just wearing my ordinary y-fronts.
[Del returns from hospital in a wheelchair after his hang-gliding trip.]
This is my punishment, isn't it? Spending the rest of my life in this wheelchair.
Still, it could have been worse.
How?
My gran had one with a squeaky wheel.
[After Del accidentally reveals that he was pretending to be paralyzed to make Rodney feel guilty.]
Rodney, I was up there for three hours, Three bloody hours! I did a loop-the-loop over Dymchurch. Little kids were pointing, "There goes a spaceman, a spaceman!" Finally, when I had just given up hope, I cluttered into an aerial thing, and fell 50 foot to the ground. It was only by the grace of God, that I landed on something soft!
Yeah, I can see the bruising on your head.
No, it was not my head, I landed on a very unfortunate and very unsuspecting courting couple!
You're kidding!
I wish I was! Due to your vicious mind and general "wally-ness", they've had to put their wedding back by six months! And I've had to pay for a new sun-roof in their Sierra! And that's regardless of what Radio Rentals are gonna do me for the aerial!
It got nothing to do with me, Del! It's was a Micky Pearce production!
Micky Pearce! You wait till I get a hold of him, I'm gonna stuff that camera half a mile up his nostril!
You think I'm bald? Well I'm not!
Well that's one hell of a parting you've got there son!
A typical Brit! The only thing that works is his mouth.
Australia is an awfully long way off, isn't it?
They'll love you over there. They've got no class!
Australia! Where the men are men.
So are the women...
What's that supposed to mean?
Albert Last time I was over there, the only way you could tell the sexes, was the men spit further.
[Rodney can't go to Australia because of his drug conviction, yet Del is still keen to go without him, much to Rodney's chagrin.]
Don't you think I've sacrificed enough for you?!
Sacrifices? For me?
Yes you, when dear Mum, God rest her soul, when she died...
Don't start again.
When she died, who stood by you?
Yes, I remember that well. I was a little 5-year-old stood in a damp graveyard wondering what the hole in the ground was for, I remember all the other people saying "I wonder what's gonna happen to poor little Rodney?" But I had no need to fear, did I, 'cos suddenly a vision appeared from beyond the silhouette of the gasworks. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Del Boy! Da da da daad! "I, Del Boy, will look after this small waif. I will bring him up in the ways of Del Boy. He will sell iffy watches from old suitcases on street corners. And I will also teach him to drive a three-wheeled van whilst pissed out of his skull!"
And I did, didn't I?
MAMan at the market
...They can't be top quality, they're too cheap!
"Too cheap", how can they be "too cheap" you wally?
MAMan at the market
Here, I'm not a wally!
No? What are you doing then, an impression?
[Shortly after, originating from the background as the scene focuses on Rodney and Victoria]
AMAnnoying man at the market
...yeah but do you get a guarantee?
You do, yeah you do get a guarantee, I'll guarantee you get a smack in the mooey if you keep on pal, just go away and annoy someone else...
VLady Victoria
(to Rodney) "So what's your name?
It's Rodney.
(shouts from a distance) Alright Dave?
No, it's Rodney. He's just a bit thick.
People round here don't pay £85 for a painting... People round here don't pay £85 for a car.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.