(on the telephone) Oh, hello Mr. Chin. No Del's gone out. I'm not sure... Where have you gone to, Del?
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[Del on the telephone to Mr. Chin; Mr. Chin's kitchen walls are luminous yellow.]
Don't you "Hello, Mr. Chin" me! What have you done to my walls?!
Glowing, are they? Tell them not to be frightened, cos this is new energy saving paint we're using. It's designed to cut down on the electricity bills. Yeah. Yes. Yes, I understand. I'll be round to see you first thing in the morning. (puts the receiver down)
Does he want his money back?
No, he wants you to go round tomorrow and do out his living room in it!
[At a graveyard, on the brow of the hill, their mother's monument is glowing a luminous yellow in the night sky. It looks radioactive.]
Oh my good gawd...
Is this where you've been for the last couple of days, painting Mum's monument??
It was her favourite colour and we both agreed it needed brightening up.
Brightening? It looks more like a rocket launch!
Well, I didn't know it was going to be luminous, did I?
Do you realise our mum's grave is now going to become a beacon for every Satanist and acid-head in England? There's gonna be white witches dancing round that on a full moon! There's going to be chicken blood everywhere!
What worries me is that it's on the main flight path to Heathrow!
I wish you two could see yourselves; there's Mum and her monument, she's fast asleep, the third coat's hardly dry and you're already quivering in your shoes. Well, I'll tell you this much, I don't regret that I did it, and I will not bow my head to any snotty-nosed town hall clerks and their narrow-minded rules! I shall look 'em straight in the face and say "I am the man who's responsible and I'm proud of it!" [Del takes another look at the monument, grimaces and turns to face Rodney and Grandad] We'll put it down to vandals. Come on, let's get out of here before we get our collars felt!
You were gun-running in the middle of a civil war?
Well, that's the best time to do it Rodney, supply and demand.
Why you dirty little mercenary.
Oh we didn't do it purely for financial gain. Oh no, we both felt a deep commitment to a political cause.
Which side were you selling to?
Well whichever side had the most money, really.
[discussing Grandad's arrest] They'll just deport him again.
Just deport him? You're joking! They've just had the World Cup here, haven't they?! They've got half of Manchester and Glasgow to get rid of first! By the time we get him back, he'll be eating paella and calling us gringoes!
(in the cell, recounting his earlier experience with the Spanish authorities) ...they took Nobby away and tortured him...all through the night, you could hear his screams!
Woke you up at one point, didn't it?
(shaking his head) The last thing on my mind was sleep, but no matter how hard they tried, Nobby wouldn't say a word... and then it were my turn...
(briefly concerned) What... they tortured you?
No... but they would have done if I hadn't told them everything I knew!
[The Trotters have just finished attending an auction.]
Can you manage, Grandad?
Yeah, I think so, Del.
Mind your hernia! That's not bad, you know? I reckon we done well there.
Waste of money if you ask me, come all this way and all.
What do you mean a waste of money? They're beautiful! Not only are they exquisite ornaments, guaranteed to brighten any sideboard, they are also a revolving musical box!
They are China cats that play "How Much Is That Doggy In The Window."
What do you want for £1.25, "Okla-bleeding-homa"?!
Don't you think it's a bit sick? A cat playing a song about a dog.
No, it means they're unique.
It means there was a balls-up at the factory and they put the wrong chimes in.
When a North Korean came to live in London, he thought that Battersea dog's home was a takeway.
Here Grandad. You want a jemmy?
Nah. Had one before we left Del.
Grandad! How you getting on?
All right Del Boy. I found it Del.
There you are, he's found the nut. Told you we could trust him.
I'm starting to undo it.
DRDel & Rodney
(rushing under the chandelier with the tarpaulin) Noooo!!!
You silly old duffer, we ain't up the ladders yet!
Grandad, don't you touch nothing 'til we tell you!
Right up we go Rodders. Anything you want?
Yeah, I wanna go home.
All right Grandad, we're ready. You can start undoing it now.
(unscrewing the bolt) It's coming, Del Boy. One more turn, Del.
Right, now brace yourself Rodney, brace yourself.
[Grandad hits the screw with a hammer and the other chandelier falls to the ground and smashes, while Del and Rodney both look on in horror]
(calmy, to Rodney) Grandad was undoing the other chandelier.
How can you tell?
[The chandelier has just fallen down and smashed. Grandad walks downstairs]
Alright, Del Boy.
Alright? Look at it!
Did you drop it, Del?
How could we drop it?! We wasn't even holding it! We was working on that one.
Well I wish you'd said something, 'cos I was working on this one. Is it very valuable Del?
(smiling) Nah, not really. (angry) It was bleeding priceless when it was hanging up there though!
VVicar
I have become dismayed, even shocked by the attitude of youth - but today you walked into this church and offered us this tree simply because you care. You have rekindled my faith in the human race. It's not nicked is it?
(commenting on the chicken he's been eating at the Nag's Head) Tough? Tough? It's the toughest chicken I've ever known. It's asked me for a fight in the car park twice!
HHeather
(after listening to Old Shep) Did you have an old dog?
I've had many old dogs in my time!
There are 2,000 stories in the Naked City and this plonker is looking for a basket on wheels.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.