“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Goes to him, I'll say. We'll be a team, but; no, he had to go for his Loki.

Loki?!

[scaring tiny people] Get out of here, tiny humans! This is a rabbit's world now!

Batman

[with cell phone] Alfred, everything in this museum comes to life! [no response] Alfred? [reveals to be Alfred E. Neuman as the butler]

Sally, didn't I say I don't want you watching that... [sees the viking] viking? Oh, forget it!

The L.A. Examiner says "I like Guy Pearce, but now even I want to punch him in the face." The Chicago Herald says "I laughed, I cried, Guy Pearce got punched in the face." The New York Times says "Oh, oh! Do Nicholas Cage next!" Guy Pearce Gets Punched in the Face: Coming soon.

Fine! I'd still say a sad ending would've been better. Oh, wait; here come those squishy credits! Looks like they'll be sad for the crew off-roll. [segment ends]

Look at him. That dumb dog. What do you think he's dreaming about? [dog dreams about tap dancing in gravestone]

I don't know why these jets were invisible. That was just bad marketing.

[choice selects Emma Stone or Ned Flanders] Our judges say Emma St-- oh. Looks like that wasn't a mustache after all!

How many times have I told you not to leave your skin on the floor?

Pfft, peel with it.

[groans] I hate this parade. [segment ends]

Well, here we go. First off with everything. [underwear falls, people laugh]

Let's eat! [kids chew gum from their turkey, blow gum; pop all everywhere] Somehow, I don't think this happened at the first Thanksgiving.

The bigger question is, what's he doing in these woods? Let's ask that park ranger. Excuse me; sir, can you... [park ranger becomes a turkey]

What the? That man just turned into a turkey!

We need some answers.

I don't get it. Normally when I played, the rats are coming right out. Wait a second, this isn't my pipe.