“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

This Halloween, prepare to be frightened with... (evil laughter) VeggieTales from the Crypt! (evil laughter again) Join me, the Keeper of the Crisper, for some rotten and juicy tales of morality. Like this one.

Ha-ha! You're so short, you're just a baby.

It's not nice to be a bully.

Oh yeah? Why not?

Because baby carrots grow up to be...

MONSTER CARROTS!

(evil laughter) There's a healthy serving of justice! And there'll be plenty more ghoulish stories on this week's episode of--

Ugh, how long has this been in here?

No! Wait! I've got a show with everything!

We did it, guys! [people's bodies sliced themselves, remaining their feet intact] Oh, no, not again! You saw what happened, right? They-They fell. Let's just get our stories straight.

Hey, I'm Vance, and if you got dirt, I've got news for you: (in slow motion) YOU'RE A SLOB!!! (normal) Heh, just kidding, but there's no better way to clean up messes and entertain your kids than with SpongeWOW!

Hi, everybody!

You ready to clean the house, SpongeWOW?

Am I ev-- Wait, what? I was told there was a party!

[spills his juice] Uh-oh! How'd that happen?

Well, you just knocked over those bottle---- (Announcer grabs SpongeWOW and rubs him on the spilt juice) Hey, hey, hey!

Luckily, SpongeWOW can absorb anything.

(gargled) Watch it!

You mean watch it disappear? HEY-OH!

Don't Hey-OH that!

See, clean in seconds! But would you look at this? Looks like someone accidentally spilled a dozen bottles of non-FDA approved hot sauce all over this counter.

Someone?!? It was you! (Announcer grabs SpongeWOW and rubs him on the hot sauce) Hey, hey, hey! What are you--

Not a problem for SpongeWOW!

Speak for yourself! It's burning!

Did you know that the average person spends up to $900 a week on napkins?

That's a lie!

Well, for just $19.99, you get a SpongeWOW that you can use over and over again.

Kill me now...

And if you wanna clean those floors while also amusing those tweens, try our new Moppit.

Hey kids, someone having a birthday?

RUN!!!

(Screams and runs away)

Get back here! The SpongeWOW and Moppet, available where unsuspecting kids' characters hang out.

Let's not fight. There's enough humans for both of us. [Justin Bieber uses his peace ray]

That only worked once. [eats Justin Bieber]

I love you, Twilight.

What about my other movie, Water for Elephants?

No, it's not!

[slaps Ben Stiller in the face] Yeah, it is!

[inside the statue of Liberty] Whoo! I won an Oscar, baby! [the statue's head falls down]

Bahamas!

[buzzing sound] Ooh, I'm sorry; it's "bananas"! [bell rings]

Bananas? Oh, mother of pearl.

[monkeys spin the wheel, storms out] I quit!

Oh, I love watching the tide roll out using the most interesting things: shells, driftwood; [gulps, sees a human head]

And now I got sand in my ear.

Totally not scary! [they scream, saw a saw blade, slices the log in half and everyone came off]

You said I wanted Tummy Tuck, not Duck!

[finding celebrities in houses] Matthew McCaughey, are you my... Chris Evans, are... Hugh Jackson... Halle... Brad... Mr. Krabs...

The Mickey Mouse Mouse Exterminator Service: This war is for you! [throws a grenade at the screen, explodes, turns white]

[Scrat breaks the ice] Wow, thanks for saving me! [Scrat takes the nut] Hey, come back! I...oh, well. At least The Avengers will find me. Who else gets to lead their team?