TTeacher
X plus Y equals... [hit by a spitball] Okay, who threw this?
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
TTeacher
The word of 18... [a Batarang hits him] Who threw this? [reveals to be Batman]
KKid
But I don't even own a Batarang!
TTeacher
A verb is an action... [gets zapped, disappears and reveals to be an alien]
KKid
I guess I'll walk myself to the principal's office.
VMVoiceover Man
And now for Gross and Beyond Gross. Drooling on your desk is gross! Putting it back where it came from is beyond gross. Having lots of earwax is gross. Having enough to make an earwax museum is beyond gross. Finding a fly in your soup is gross. Discovering that your soup is a Community Swimming Pool for Flies is beyond gross! This has been Gross and Beyond Gross.
VMVoiceover Man
MAD takes a look at what these movies were called in Japan. Tangled became "Ouch! You're on my hair!". Julie & Julia: "I'm young, you're old! Let's eat!" True Grit sinks into "Girls Seeks Man with iPad-tch". Despicable Me went by "Uncle Fester Gets a Job" and Unstoppable became "I can't stop the train...oh, wait; no. I stopped it."
BBlu
Great! My girlfriend's been kidnapped and I'm the only bird in Rio that can't fly!
AEAlfred E. Neuman
Wheee! [flies off]
BBlu
Make that the only thing in Rio that can't fly.
BBBig Bird
[a ring lands in his wing] Hey! A ring! [flies off]
KKermit
Aw, but I'm the green one.
[ring lands in front of Mordecai and Rigby from Regular Show]
MMordecai
A Green Lantern ring? I know where we're headed!
BBoth
Ooooooooooooooooooo-a! [Mordecai flies off]
RRigby
Huh? I guess it can only carry one at a time. I'll wait.
[ring lands in a pile of birdseed and the Road Runner runs up and eats it]
Meep Meep!
[Road Runner flies off and drops a glowing green anvil on Wile E. Coyote; scene cuts to Oa]
BBlu
Everyone, I've summoned you here to create a new Green Lantern CAW! Sorry, it's Corps. Green Lantern Corps. The point being, the love of my life is being held against her will. So I need you all to take the oath.
AAll
In brightest day, in blackest night,
Despite our shape, our size, our height,
We're birds who walk, which isn't right,
But starting now, we will take flight.
[All birds fly to planet Earth; scene cuts to Rigby, still waiting]
RRigby
Yep, should be coming for me any time now.
AAlvin
[seeing a snake with bumps inside] Simon? Theodore?
SCSleepy Cloud Voiceover Guy
Voiceover: Plus, the Sleepy Cloud is environmentally friendly, made from air and air-like materials. So get rid of those puffy eyes once and for all with the... hey, what are you doing here?
GNGrouchy Neighbor
I'll show you to listen; Sleepy Cloud! [beats up the announcer]
JLJoe Lamb
We have to stop the 80's from taking over the town!
ADAlice Dainard
Why? Weren't the 80's fun?
JLJoe Lamb
Yes, but they also gave us Urkel (shows a picture of Steve Urkel) and ALF. (shows a picture of ALF)
(Cast of Super 8 run around screaming. In the city people are being chased by Pac-Man)
PMPac-Man
Wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka!
(He-Man slicing cars, Care Bears holding torches while riding My Little Ponies)
PPeople
(Screaming)
(People's cars are starting to turn into GoBots)
OMOld Man
Oh, my gosh! It's a Transformer!
RGRed Gobot
Actually, I'm a Gobot.
OMOld Man
A What-Bot?
RGRed Gobot
A Gobot! Just like Transformers, only smaller, not as popular, and, uh... (cries) I wanna be a Transformer!
PMr. Peanut
[after tap dancing] Wait, wait! I can do magic too! [a man eats him]
IMIron Man
[through his cell phone] Yeah, Spider-Man? You're in. [segment ends]
SLord Shen
Die, Po, and let kung fu die with you! Ah ha ha ha ha!
(Scene goes to Po running away Angry Birds style from Lord Shen who is firing Angry Birds at him)
BSBlue Speedy Bird
Ooh!
GBGrenade Bird
Whee! (explodes)
P5Pink 5-Splitter Bird
He he he he!
OSOrange Square Angry Bird
Ha ha ha ha!
(Orange Square Angry Bird hits TNT that collapses the temple causing 2,000 points)
(Scene goes to Lord Shen and a Green Circle Angry Bird in the slingshot)
GBGrenade Bird
You know that was your own temple you destroyed, right?
SLord Shen
I know, but firing these things is so addictive.
(Lord Shen lets go of the slingshot sending Grenade Bird in the air)
GBGrenade Bird
Whee!
(Scene goes to Po running away while Angry Birds try to explode on him)
PPo
Black and white, black and white, gotta find someone black and white!
(Scene goes to Pepé Le Pew hugging a shaking Penelope Pussycat in the city)
PLPepé Le Pew
My little mon cherrie (Zooms in on them), kiss me. Mmm (Po grabs him and aims him in the direction of a Green Circle Angry Bird), mmm, mmm.
(Pepe gets blown up by the Angry Birds)
PLPepé Le Pew
What a woman. (turns to dust)
PPo
Okay, not him. (scene switches to Jim Carrey and his pet penguins)
PMr. Popper
And shuffle ball, step; shuffle ball, lounge.
PPo
Hi, I'm gonna need all these penguins.
PMr. Popper
But these penguins are teaching me how to be a better father.
PPo
[quick silence] Did you hear what he just said?
PPo
Occasion, prepare to meet your- [explosion] Guess it’s not the penguin. Prepare to meet- [explosion] or Spider-Man. [explosion] or this cookie. [explosion] That sign, [explosion] this photo, [explosion] these dice, [explosion] these Pokémon.
HDHot Dog Stand Guy
That'll be nine hundred billion dollars.
CCostumer
Uh, better make that just relish.
FFish
This is one splash for Fish, one giant splash [plants a flag] for fish kind! [a bear grabs the fish and eats it up]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.