[Chris Jericho has invited The "Heartbreak Kid", Shawn Michaels, onto his 'Highlight Reel' show. The fans have started an "HBK" chant]
HBK, I wanna thank you for coming onto the Highlight Reel tonight. It's obvious from your body language that it's not easy; you look like you're still feeling the effects from the beating you took at One Night Stand in the stretcher match. But those effects would be felt by anybody; you put on such a gutsy performance, Shawn, I mean, you showed so much heart, so much courage, you should be proud of yourself, and, I-I was - I was proud of you too, as a matter of fact, even though you lost that match, all of our fans around the world and even here tonight, they still love you! [the crowd cheers]
I, uh...I appreciate all the kind words, but, um...you got a question in any of this?
Yes, I do have a question, I'm gonna get to that, but first I wanna make a little observation. I mean, like we just heard, obviously our fans, they love you no matter what it is you do. [to the cheering fans] No matter what, right? Case in point, you feigned a knee injury for almost a month, you blatantly lied about it to me, you lied to Batista-
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now...that might be splitting hairs here, but I was very clear about the fact that I was gonna do whatever it took to win...and I did that. I didn't lie to Batista, I didn't lie to the people. Technically, the only person I lied to was...you.
All right, fair enough, I'll...I'll take that. Touché. Regardless of all that, when you finally admitted the truth and super-kicked me right in the face, you got cheered more than ever. I mean, it's... [off the cheers] see? I mean, I'm adored by the fans as well, but not even I could get away with that one. And when I pointed out your fabrication of the truth, suddenly I got booed. I mean...[the crowd boos] see? You pull a fast one on 'em and they adore you, and yet whenever I try to do the right thing, whether it be tell the truth or not hit you with a chair, not hit JBL with a chair, I got booed! You know, uh...it seems like our fans, even the ones here, would rather boo an honest man and cheer for you, I mean, it doesn't take much to get them to start chanting, "HBK". You know, it's..."HBK, HBK"! [the crowd chants "HBK" again] So that brings us to my question, and my question is this: how does Shawn Michaels, HBK, one of the greatest performers of all time and one of the most highly-decorated superstars in the history of this business, turn into such a lying, cheating, pathetic little worm of a human being? [the crowd boos again as suddenly Jericho attacks Michaels]
Oh! And Jericho, assaulting Michaels!
Jerry "The King" Lawler [as Michaels tackles Jericho and fights back]: Whoa!
JJim
And the fireworks! Michaels and Jericho, overt physicality here on Monday Night Raw!
[Jericho then kicks Michaels in the groin]
JJim
The obvious low blow, stopping Michaels dead in his tracks!
[Michaels tries to get up but Jericho shoves him back down to the canvas]
You wanna lie to me? This is just what you're gonna see, buddy. This is all... [as Michaels writhes] this is all your fault. This is what you wanna do? You started all this, and now you're gonna start it again. [stands Michaels up] The worst is yet to come.
[throws Michaels face-first into his Jeri-tron 5000 monitor, shattering it]
[Michaels groans in pain on the canvas as Jericho stares at him among the crowd's boos before leaving]
Leave it to HBK to once again attempt to rewrite history. Last week, HBK, in an effort to in his words, permanently disfigure me, and take my championship away, convinced Mike Adamle to make our match at No Mercy a World Heavyweight Championship ladder match. And then in another one of his typical multiple hypocritical lying statements that your hero HBK likes to make, Shawn claimed that he revolutionized the ladder match. And like the brainless sycophants that you are, the mindless sheep that you are, you all mindly believed what he said. Here's a news flash for ya. Just 'cause Shawn Michaels says something doesn't mean that it's true. And conversely, when Chris Jericho tells you something, you know that it's real because I am an honest man. I am a good man. And I always tell the truth. And here's some truth for you right now. I have won three separate championships in a ladder match. I have won more ho, high-profile ladder matches than Shawn Michaels has ever appeared in in his entire life. And here's some more truth for ya. At No Mercy, when the match is through, the very last thing you will all see is this. [Jericho unhooks the World Heavyweight Championship from above the ring] Chris Jericho, still the World Heavyweight Champion.
Ladies and gentlemen, the former World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho! [Chris Jericho angrily looks at Lilian]
What happened last night at Cyber Sunday was the biggest screwjob in WWE history. Mike Adamle wanted Batista to be the champion, so he did everything in his power to make it happen, and all of you were happy to oblige him! You voted in Stone Cold Steve Austin, you couldn't picked an un, more biased referee in the entire planet! Austin changed the rules in the middle of this match. He put his hands on me repeatedly, he tried to bully me, he tried to intimidate me, and worst of all, he didn't count to three when I had the match won, and now as a result, Batista is the new World Heavyweight Champion. [crowd cheers, then chants "you suck"] If I was Batista, I would be embarrassed to call myself a champion. I would be ashamed to call myself a champion. Because Batista did not beat Chris Jericho. No, no. It took an entire army to beat me, from Batista to Michaels to Steve Austin to Mike Adamle to every single one of you hypocrites here tonight. You were all involved in this conspiracy against me. And now Mike Adamle wants to make a tag team match for the main event tonight. That's fine, I am DYING to get my hands on Shawn Michaels and Batista again tonight. But I'll tell you something else. That's not good enough. I need more. I need more. And I have a championship rematch clause and I will use it next week. Next week, I will beat Batista and regain what's mine and once again be the World Heavyweight Champion, and there is nothing that any one of you can do about this. [Mike Adamle's music hits]
Oh man! Jericho is a bitter, sour former champion! [Mike Adamle comes out]
Our general manager, Mike Adamle.
MAMike Adamle
Chris, I need you to hang on a second. I just want to tell you a little something right now. In order to ensure that there's no outside interference in that championship match against Batista, I have decided to make it a steel cage match.
My name is Randy Orton. And I would like to introduce my lawyers and therapist, and the other members of Legacy, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. Now the reason why I am out here is to discuss the events that happened last week on Raw. Now as all of you know, I am a third-generation superstar. The WWE is in my blood, it is a part of me. But, unfortunately, something else is a part of me. Something that I have been living with for quite some time. It's called IED. Intermittent explosive disorder. [the therapist hands him a note] IED affects 16 million Americans. It is a mental condition, where the individual, when sufficiently provoked, suffers a loss of control, resulting in outbursts of physical violence. After being slapped by Stephanie McMahon, and having my job threatened by Mr. McMahon, I had become sufficiently provoked. [returns the note to the therapist] Now you all saw my face after it was all over. I was not responsible for my actions. My therapist, my therapist can confirm that the WWE knew of my condition, but did nothing about it, which is why if Stephanie McMahon chooses to fire me tonight, I will sue her and World Wrestling Entertainment. But that is just the first lawsuit. There happenes to be a second. Last night, I won the 2009 Royal Rumble. Proving that I am more superior than everyone in this company. Which is why I will sue for breach of contract if I do not get what I am legally entitled to, and that is to compete in the main event at WrestleMania. So how does that sound, Stephanie? If you choose to fire me tonight, not only will you be faced with two separate lawsuits, but you're gonna lose Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes. Because they have both vowed to me that they will walk, they will walk if I am fired tonight and let's face it. Let's face it Stephanie. With the three of us gone, when it comes to superstars on the Raw roster, well, there'll, there'll virtually be none left. Now, that that has been said, I have one more piece of business to attend to. [a lawyer hands him a note] I do apologize for the trauma that befell Mr. McMahon last week. I apologize for the trauma that his family is now suffering. As a father of a newborn, I now recognize and appreciate the anguish the McMahon family must be experiencing. My hope is we can put this ugly incident behind us and move forward. [crowd chants "you suck"] Again, I am a man of honor. I offer my sincerest apologies to Mr. McMahon, to his family, and to all of you. Thank you.
At the age of 24, I became the youngest world champion in the history of the WWE. It was the greatest moment in my life, but it was short-lived. Because the next night on Raw, the man who was my mentor, the man that claimed to be my friend, turned on me in a fit of jealous rage. [footage from the August 16, 2004 episode of Raw is shown where Triple H betrays Orton, kicking him out of Evolution] That night, everything started to fall into place. Triple H ruined my life, so I made a vow to myself, to ruin his. But I had to wait. I had to wait until I found the talent to start a group of my own. I had to wait until Triple H was more powerful than he had ever been before, and I had to wait until Triple H found something that he cared about, more than the WWE title. And so it began, this past January, when I eliminated Triple H and went on to win the 2009 Royal Rumble. [footage from the Royal Rumble is shown] I earned the right to face Triple H and take his title at the 25th anniversary of WrestleMania, but, but that wasn't enough. I had to raise the stakes. I had to take everything away from Triple H that he cared about, and systematically destroy him. So I chose his family. The most powerful family in the WWE, the McMahons. Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, and his sweet wife, Stephanie. [a montage is shown of Orton attacking the McMahon family] Almost five years after Triple H turned on me, I RKO'd his wife. Now let me, let me make one thing perfectly clear. I knew exactly what I was doing the entire time. IED, no no no no no. I knew exactly what I was doing the entire time. If you don't sit down and shut your mouths and listen to every word I have to say for the rest of this, I'm gonna get real pissed off. When I get pissed off, you don't wanna, you don't wanna be too close to me! [crowd boos] I knew that Triple H would retaliate. And he did, he went to my home and he attacked me. He took a sledgehammer to Rhodes and DiBiase, but that was a sacrifice that I was willing to take, because I needed Triple H to feel confident. I needed Triple H to feel as if he was in control, because if he felt this way, then he would let his guard down, and if he did that, then it would allow me to do this. [footage is shown from the previous week's Raw where Orton attacked Stephanie McMahon while Triple H was handcuffed to the rope] Now at WrestleMania, every time Triple H and I lock up, every time he goes to throws a punch, he's gonna be looking at the man that DDT'd his wife and sealed it with a kiss. And if he even thinks of coming to the ring at WrestleMania with a sledgehammer to get his vengeance, then he's wrong. Because I talked to Vickie Guerrero. And if Triple H is disqualified, if he's even counted out, then he loses the WWE title. If he shows up to the ring with a sledgehammer, then it's an automatic disqual - disqualification, and I become champion without lifting my finger. And so it comes full circle, Triple H it comes full circle. I have taken everything from you. Everything, except the WWE title. That comes this Sunday. When it happens, the entire landscape of the WWE changes. The balance of power shifts permanently. Top superstars will climb the ladder to one day try and challenge me. Young superstars will try their best to impress me so that they may one day stand at my side.
MThe Miz
[outside the WWE Superstars Locker Room] When I first came to World Wrestling Entertainment, not a single person respected me. Not anyone out in the WWE universe, and not anyone in the WWE locker room. Everybody wanted to get rid of me. Nobody could stand me! They made my life a living hell. As a matter of fact, in this very locker room I got kicked out for eating a piece of chicken over a referee’s bag and spilling some crumbs.
[Walks away] For 6 months, 6 months, I was banned from the WWE locker room. I would have to find a place to change, a place to shower, a place to use the restroom. I walked down these halls and see superstars like JBL. And everyday that JBL saw me, he would sarcastically say, "Miz, I look forward to your amazing work! Miz, you are a gift from God, Miz!"
Everybody berated me. Everybody ridiculed me. Everybody wanted me to quit. But all that negativity, I used as fuel to ignite a wrath against everyone in the WWE to become the star I am today. Now I don't even go in that locker room because I have a private dressing room just for me. That locker room is for the Evan Bournes and the MVPs. [He is now on the arena floor] The same MVP that is the #1 contender for the United States Championship. So congratulations, MVP. You have earned the right to join a long list of people to get publicly humiliated by me.
MVP doesn't even deserve to be in the same ring as me. [He is now in the ring] If it was up to me, MVP would still be in jail. I don't believe in second chances, because I have been perfect my entire life. Yet you mistakes all still boo me and cheer him. Well, go ahead, boo me, cheer MVP, I don't care. I'd rather you all hate me for everything I am, than love me for something I'm not! I am the reason you people watch Monday Night Raw, not MVP! I am the most captivating and entertaining superstar on this brand, not MVP!
MVP comes out here with his glitz and glam, his pyro, his ballin'. He's got Breitling diamond watches, designer suits. That's great MVP, because let's face facts, MVP. You could put diamonds on a dog, but it's still a mutt. All you mistakes will respect me, everybody in that locker room will respect their United States Champion! Because I'm The Miz...and I'm...AWESOME!
[one night after Shawn Michaels cost the Undertaker the World Heavyweight Championship at Elimination Chamber]
I am not going to take up a lot of your time tonight, because my explanation for my actions last night really isn't all that complicated. I did what I had to do, I did what I needed to do. Now I understand that what I've done isn't really all that popular with many of you but, that is something that I am willing to live with. And I've heard the, the rumors about the Undertaker possibly being here tonight and I also understand that for every action, there must be a reaction. With regard to the Undertaker, I'm not just hoping for a reaction. I'm counting on it. Because there is absolutely no one that can possib -- [The Undertaker's music hits]
Ask and you shall receive. You all wondered if the Undertaker would be here. Now we know. [The Undertaker comes out]
Cut the tension with a knife.
You wanted my attention? Now you have it.
Last year, people said we had the greatest match in WrestleMania history. Some people even said it was the greatest match ever. As flattering as that is, you have to understand, I wrestled a perfect match. I, I nearly wrestled a perfect match. I made one mistake, ONE MISTAKE, and it cost me everything. You better, than anybody should know that's something I cannot live with. I asked you, I, I begged you for a rematch, but you refused. You ignored me. You didn't leave me any choice, and that's why I cost you the World Heavyweight Championship. I know you're angry at me. I know as you stand there, you can't wait to get your hands on me. And that's okay. You want your revenge. Face me at WrestleMania, Undertaker, and get your revenge.
You're on. I accept. [Shawn prepares to leave the ring] ...on one condition. This year, you have to put up something as well. Your soul...this year won't be enough. If you defeat me, you end the streak. But, if I beat you, your career is over. That's it, Shawn. The streak versus your career.
You don't get it. If I can't beat you at WrestleMania, I have no career. You're on.
Well tonight folks, we have a first. Tonight, as my guest on the Cutting Edge, we have the Anonymous Raw GM. [the Anonymous Raw General Manager's laptop is in the ring] Now despite our acrimonious relationship, I actually do appreciate the GM agreeing to appear as a guest on my show. And I understand that this computer has been electronically transmitting this voice, so that's what it will continue to do, so as to keep this person's identity a secret. Now, with that being said, I think it's time to ask the first question. I, I need to ask you exactly, Raw GM, why are you such a spineless coward?
ARAnonymous Raw General Manager's voice
Why are you such a moron? I remain anonymous to protect my identity. If people knew who I really was, it would change everything.
Okay first of all, that's the worst voice ever. Se, [stammers] second of all, I thought, I thought you were Stone Cold Steve Austin, or or or, I thought you were The Rock, or maybe Shawn Michaels. Or Bob Barker. [stammers] Judging by your decision making, you're Lindsay Lohan after another bender. The only thing I know is, is that whoever you are, you are a big fat liar.
ARAnonymous Raw General Manager's voice
Seriously, Edge. You hurt my feelings. Why do you have to hate, yo? I try to make peace with you, but you clearly don't want that. You want a confrontation. Why? Why do you despise me so?
Why do you despise me?! Why do you keep interfering in my business? Why - why am I arguing with a computer? We've gone from Stone Cold stunning Mr. McMahon on Raw to Edge arguing with a computer. You know what? That's it. I'm just gonna go ask Chris Jericho exactly who you are.
ARAnonymous Raw General Manager's voice
Jericho is bluffing. He knows nothing. However, I know a lot of things. Like your opponent...right now. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Hahaha? I, I don't have an opponent tonight! You know what, I, I talk to people. I'm sick of talking to an overgrown Speak 'n' Spell. I'm outta here.
ARAnonymous Raw General Manager's voice
But wait. You do have an opponent tonight, Edge. I have scheduled a match right now between you and this man. [John Cena's music hits]
You thought Randy Orton and Wade Barrett was the story; you thought John Cena being fired was the story; and then The Miz, Mr. Money in the Bank, comes out, cashes in, and he tells the world that he is the true story. He is the WWE Champion.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Era of Awesomeness has begun on Monday Night Raw!
July 17, 2011 will be the most historic day, not only in the career of CM Punk, it's gonna be a historic day for the WWE as a whole. Not only is July 17 the second annual Money in the Bank ladder match pay-per-view, it's the night I defeat John Cena for the WWE Championship. And now, here's that honesty I was talking about, that honesty that's probably gotten me in trouble more times than I like to admit. The brutal honesty I'm known for. July 17 is the day my contract with World Wrestling Entertainment comes to an end. That means when the clock strikes midnight, the 17 becomes the 18, Sunday bleeds into Monday, I'm leaving. And trust me when I tell you. I am leaving with the WWE Championship.
John Cena, while you lay there hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in three weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest. I don't hate you, John. I don't even dislike you. I do like you; I like you a hell lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea that you're the best...because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing you're better at than I am, and that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass. You're as good at kissing Vince's ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don't know if you're as good as Dwayne though—he's a pretty good ass-kisser, always was and still is. [Turns to camera and waves] Whoops, I'm breaking the fourth wall.
I am the best wrestler in the world. I've been the best ever since day one when I walked into this company, and I've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar, and he split just like I'm splitting, but the biggest difference between me and Brock is I'm going to leave with the WWE Championship.
I've grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that—they're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me, and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I've proved to everybody in the world that I'm the best on this microphone, in that ring, even at commentary! Nobody can touch me! And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I'm not on your lovely little collector cups, I'm not on the cover of the program, I'm barely promoted, I don't get to be in movies, I'm certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network, I'm not on the poster of WrestleMania, I'm not on the signature that's produced at the start of the show! I'm not on Conan O'Brien, I'm not on Jimmy Fallon, but the fact of the matter is I should be; and trust me, this isn't sour grapes, but the fact that Dwayne is in the main event of WrestleMania next year and I'm not makes me sick!
[Turns to the fans] Oh, hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else, because you're the ones that are sipping out of those collector cups right now; you're the ones that buy those programs that my face isn't on the cover of, and then at 5:00 in the morning at the airport, you try and shove it in my face so you can get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you're too lazy to go get a real job!
I'm leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17, and hell, who knows? Maybe I'll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I'll go back to Ring of Honor. [Waves to camera] Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing? The reason I'm leaving is you people because after I'm gone, you're still gonna pour money into this company. I'm just a spoke on the wheel, the wheel's gonna keep turning and I understand that. But Vince McMahon's gonna make money despite himself. He's a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he's not a billionaire? It's 'cause he surrounds himself with glad-handing, nonsensical douchebag yes-men like John Laurinaitis who's gonna tell him everything that he wants to hear. And I'd like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon's dead, but the fact is it's gonna get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family! Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon. All right. We're doing this whole bullying campaign...[The mic cuts off]
You wanna have fun? Let's have fun.
[on the contract] I've got everything in here you want...
Because my lawyers looked over your contract, Vince, and frankly, it just wasn't up to par, so I had them draw up a new one. I have it right here; my signature's already on it, all you've got to do is sign it. I...do think you should know about a couple new perks that I've added to it. You say you don't think contractual things should happen in public? Let's ask the WWE Universe—you people want this to go down in public? [The crowd cheers] You wanna hear a couple new perks?
He said, "don't push me." Did you already look at this? Did somebody stooge this off? Because this is actually provision #1—[pushes McMahon in his seat] that I get to push you. Vince, I'll push you all I want..Vince, I'll kick you in the nuts and you'll smile at me and like it, and show me some respect! Because if you don't, I find the nearest paper shredder, I throw this puppy in there, and Sunday, I leave with your WWE Championship.
Provision #1—for a Superstar such as myself, first class travel is not good enough. I want my own jet. And I don't want your jet—your jet smells, don't try to pawn that thing off on me—I want my own jet.
[Provision] #2—my face will be on everything. I want my face on the TitanTron, I want my face on these turnbuckles, I want cups, posters, spoons, knives, forks, shoes, socks. I want everything with my face on it; number-one thing I want you to bring back—the WWE Ice Cream Bars. [The crowd cheers and chants "WE WANT ICE CREAM!"] Look at that, I just made you a million dollars in ice cream sales.
I want WWE Films to immediately start production on CM Punk: The Movie! You can call it The Chaperone 2, except mine will be funny and entertaining and successful.
And one last thing—the main event of WrestleMania being John Cena against your buddy Dwayne? That's The Rock, for nobody who watches bad Disney movies. You can still have that little fantasy, but the match that I compete in at WrestleMania will be the main event.
Those are just a few of many new perks that my lawyers have added to the contract. The last thing that this contract states is that you apologize to me. I know, Vince McMahon doesn't apologize, right? But you will apologize to me for suspending me last week; you will apologize... Hell, you know what? I'm gonna be honest, you're not just apologizing to me, you're apologizing to these people for being one of the biggest hypocrites I've ever seen in my entire life. As far as your anti-bullying campaign goes, you are one of the biggest bullies I've ever met in my entire life, and you will apologize. I have had friends, very talented friends, work for this company and be unceremoniously fired.
They deserved it? They deserved it? Why? Because you don't know what makes a superstar in 2011?! You don't know what these people want?! You wanna punish people for actually liking professional wrestling, guys like Colt Cabana and guys like Luke Gallows?! Huh?! You will apologize to me, for them, because they can't be here right now, and they can't stand up to you, and they can't let their voice be heard! I am CM Punk, and I am the voice of the voiceless, and you will apologize, and you will like it!
I'm not gonna have you sit here and belittle me. Say I've lost sight? I've lost sight of things, John? The reason I say I'm gonna take that and walk out is because I don't fit a certain mold. Because I am the underdog, and that's exactly what you've lost sight of. Earlier in this ring, you mentioned great wrestlers like Eddie Guerrero and you said that they used to look at you and think that the kid couldn't hang. And now you stand here and look at me as the kid that can't hang. John, I was hanging off of your gangster car, WrestleMania 22, as it rolled down in Chicago, Illinois, and I stood there in a suit looking as ridiculous as [points to Vince McMahon] that man looks right now in his suit, holding a phony Tommy gun, and I said to myself someday, I'm not gonna be standing out there watching you in the ring; I was gonna be standing in the ring watching you go down to CM Punk. And now here we are in your hometown of Boston. And now next week, we'll be back there in my hometown—Chicago, Illinois. And this...this is the part where I talk 'em into the building. See, you are the one that's lost sight, and I apologize for raising my voice because I'm not that guy. But when you stand here and tell me that I've lost sight, when you, the 10-time Champion who stands for hustle, loyalty and respect; who, from Boston, Massachusetts, lives and breathes these red colors, the same colors as your beloved Red Sox, who also portray themselves as the underdog, I'm sure just like the Bruins portray themselves as the underdog. Just like the Patriots think they're the underdog! Hey, how about those Celtics? Are they the underdogs too? Here's what you've lost sight of, John, and I'm really happy that your father and your wife are sitting in the front row so they can hear it!
That's the last time I'm gonna tell you, ease up.
What you've lost sight of is what you are, and what you are is what you hate. You're the 10-time WWE Champion! You're the man! Ladies and gentlemen, the Champ is here. You, like the Red Sox, like Boston, are no longer the underdog! You're a dynasty. You are what you hate. You have become the New York Yankees! [John immediately punches Punk, who scoots out of the ring, grabs the contract, and goes up the ramp. Points respectively to Vince and John] You're Steinbrenner, and you might as well be Jeter! Mr. 3000, I'm the underdog! [John's music plays for fourteen seconds] Turn it off! Turn the music off because I have something to say, and I'm positive that everybody here wants to hear it, and everybody sitting at home has their DVRs fired up because they wanna hear it! I'm glad you just punched me in the face, John. I'm glad it went down this way because it hit me like a bolt of lightning—exactly why I no longer wanna be here, why I wanna leave. It's because I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you. I'm just tired. So ladies and gentlemen of the WWE Universe, Vince, John, Sunday night, say goodbye to the WWE Title, say goodbye to John Cena, and say goodbye to CM Punk! [Rips up the contract] I'll go be the best in the world somewhere else.
Relax, relax, relax, relax. I'm not gonna go on a profanity-ridden tirade. You don't need a seven-second-delay, Kevin. I'm not gonna show my genitalia. I'm not gonna talk bad about your family or your company. And I know exactly what you're about to do, and I'm okay with it. Because I'm not gonna have to go through the same things that you made Shawn Michaels go through. Shawn Michaels, the best performer ever to step in this ring. But you made him bent over backwards and for all that he accomplished, for all of his achievements, for years, all they said about HBK was that he screwed Bret! No matter how many championships he won, no matter how many times he stopped the show, he carried that burden, and it began to define him, and he had to take it with him his entire career. And you know what? I thought about that a lot last week, Vince, and I put myself in his shoes. If I was in his shoes, would I want to be the guy who screwed Bret? Would I want to be the guy that screwed CM Punk? My answer was no.
I knew exactly what was at stake. I asked for the match. The WWE Championship, my career. But there was more than that. There was more than just John Cena vs. CM Punk in a classic. It was about you. It was about you wanting to keep your little bubble intact - your little universe in one piece. Nobody can embarrass Vince McMahon. And to do that, you thought you needed somebody to play ball, and I was gonna be your patsy. No way! And I know I'm not supposed to say his name, but, Punk, if you are out there watching: It was one hell of a match last night, son. Thank you so much.
[over Vince's protests] Hey, hey, hey, listen. You put me in a position to make a decision. You wanted the match thrown out. I don't do business like that. You're a businessman, you got your way of doin' business. I do my business a certain way, I am not gonna play along with that crap because you would have made the WWE Championship meaningless. So here's the skinny. I had a great career here. And he says he can make another one of me. Fine, Vince, go ahead. Make one, make ten. I don't care. I've even given you some time. You have eight months—-give or take a few days—-to find another opponent for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson at WrestleMania XXVIII. I'm not an idiot, Vince. You'll do some hocus-pocus and you'll find somebody for Dwayne, and WrestleMania will go off without a hitch as if I was never even here. I get it. Meanwhile I get to walk outta here with my pride and my dignity.
So before we get into the formalities and the big Vince-McMahon-walk and the whole speech, which I'm gonna let you do. Go ahead. It's what they know you for. I just need to tell you something. And I want this to sink in. I love the WWE and I truly believe I belong here. And, man, I hate saying this. But if you're about to tell me that I'm not welcome here, if you're about to tell me that I have no other option, I love this. This is what I do. And if you make me walk tonight, then I will walk on someone else's television show and keep doing this, brother! That is no threat, that is a promise. And here's the skinny. There's a lot people out there that say I do a lot of things. But I prove tonight that one thing I will not do is kiss your ass!
[Triple H appears as Vince seeks to fire John Cena]
Vince. Sorry I got here as quickly as I could. There was a board of directors' meeting this morning. Vince, last night we flew from Chicago here. When I got there, I received a phone-call. I got back on the jet and I flew to the office, where there was a board of directors' meeting this morning. Vince, the board asked me to come here to talk to you. They are concerned about the current situation. Can we just go and talk about this in the back, please? I tried to get out here, Vince, before you came to the ring, but I didn't make it. More specifically, the board is concerned about you. Don't get me wrong. They completely understand you have built the global empire. All of this, every single bit of it is because of you and your vision. That's a given. But at the same point in time, Vince, the board is concerned about your extremely questionable - their term, their words - extremely questionable decisions as of late. Vince, the board has asked me to come here to tell you, that they have filed an injunction against you with the vote of no-confidence. And Vince, the family agrees.
