Someone hand me a branch. [Ronon hands him a log] I didn't ask for a log!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Just, um, back out if you encounter anything problematic.
Problematic?
Yeah, like poisonous atmosphere, acid atmosphere, no atmosphere…. Hey, it's a MALP on a stick; only shows you so much!
Col. Sheppard would have already had hours to try to make it back through the portal in the time I wasted explaining the situation to Conan and Xena!
This is Sheppard. I'm pretty sure you can't hear me, but I don't have a volleyball to talk to, so what the hell.
Lt. Col. Sheppard [after being left to himself to fight the Beast]: Hey people, I'm starting to develop some serious abandonment issues here!
What is it with you and ascended women?!
[Dr. Lee is trying to explain his idea of relaying a message to Atlantis to a room full of SGC personnel]
It's—it's the Twilight Bark.
[The audience murmur and look at one another, confused]
Twilight Bark? 101 Dalmatians? Didn't you guys see that movie? My kids love it, and... Well, okay, so there's all these dogs. And one barks here, one barks here, one— They send the message across the countryside.
[The audience continue to murmur]
Lord of the Rings.
[People start nodding and smiling]
Lord of the Rings! You know when they light all those signal fires on the mountaintops? You all saw that, right?
KDr. Kavanaugh
I don't see how you could possibly dump any more power into the hyperdrives-
Dr. Kavanagh?
KDr. Kavanaugh
Yes?
Stop talking, please... Thank you.
Explosives expert, huh?
LCLt. Cadman
High temperature energetic materials technology. And I can tap dance too. [smiles]
[Lt. Col. Sheppard walks in to check on Ronon, who is interrogating Dr. Kavanaugh, only to find Kavanaugh lying on the ground, unconscious.]
What did you do to him?
Nothing, he fainted before I could touch him.
CCCol. Caldwell's Goa'uld
I warn you, as a Goa'uld, I now possess the strength of many men.
[ominously] It'll be a fair fight then. [Ronon proceeds to easily overpower the Goa'uld]
Now, as you know, the Zero Point Module controls the flow of massive amounts of power.
Like a dam.
No, it's not like a dam, it's more like a ...uh...actually, yes, it's like a dam. If you overload the dam, it breaks, which is why the Ancients put in place failsafes to prevent such a thing from happening.
Like a spillway.
Could we just stick with failsafes?
Hermiod's going to attempt to remove Col. Caldwell's Goa'uld using Asgard beaming technology.
Quite remarkable, actually.
And complicated. Well, the calculations are impossibly intricate. You don't want to beam out a chunk of his brain.
Lovely, Rodney.
Hey, look who's back! It's Mr. Mom. Fun with the kids?
[his face is decorated with grass and paintings, struggling to say something] Do not even speak to me! [walks away, with Rodney looking smug]
[To his hallucination of Col. Carter]
I mean, you come in here, you don't help me, you say the one plan I've got is bad, you-you claim to be a creation of my mind and yet you are in no way dressed provocatively!
Come on, you're a figment of my imagination. The least you can do is take your top off!
Your subconscious mind knows that I would never be into that.
You are the worst hallucination ever.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.