Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Hello, Westview! Good afternoon. It's so lovely to be ...[bumping into a handrail] I'm so sorry. Excuse me. I am Glamour, and this is my delightful assistant, Illusion.
I am Glamour and he's Illusion.
Yeah, what she said. Today, we will lie to you, and yet you will believe our little deceptions because human beings are easily fooled due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe.
We let the little ladies keep tabs on their growing babies with fruit. Makes it simple for them. [Wanda grimaces at the sexism] At four months, the fetus is about as big as a pear. At five months, a papaya. Six, grapefruit. Seven, pineapple. Eight, honeydew.
Hypothetically speaking, what size fruit would it be at, say, hmm, twelve hours?
[confused] Uh, pardon? Twelve hours?
[brightly] Well, I think this line of questioning is 'fruitless'. [chuckles]
Huh. Strangest thing just happened outside with... [turns to see Wanda's bump has grown larger] Whoa, Nelly! Have you gotten bigger?!
Have I?
[Wanda turns around and knocks into a bowl of fruit with her belly. Vision moves at super-speed and catches the papaya.]
[continuing, looking down] I can't tell from this angle.
I can't wait... [chuckles] ...to be a proud papa-ya.
Well, if that was the first kick, that puts you at about... six months! Boy, oh, boy, I thought I had superspeed. I can't keep up! [baby talk] Please don't misinterpret; I can't wait to meet you, little Billy.
"Billy"?
Yeah.
Well, I was thinking "Tommy". Just a nice, classic, all-American name.
Hmm, "Tommy". Hmm, yeah. Yeah. Then there's "Billy", isn't there? Named after William Shakespeare. "All the world's a stage. All the men and women merely players."
Well, I guess there's only one solution to this debate. Hope for a girl.
Well, we ought to decide soon. I estimate the baby's due... it's not a constant progression, assumingly logarithmic, but were I to graph the fetal development thus far...
He's gonna be here before you figure it out.
Can you believe it? Twins! Hi.
...I'm a twin. [forlornly] I had a brother. His name was...Pietro.
[Wanda sings to the babies is Sokovian]
[confused] He was killed by Ultron, wasn't he?
...What did you say? Just now? [a single tear rolls down Wanda's face]
I said...Wanda, you're such a strong lady. Should I say it one more time, for good measure?
No. What did you say about Pietro?
Pietro? [thinks] Hey, I'll take a shift rocking the babies-
No, I think you should leave.
Oh Wanda, don't be like that!
[Wanda sees the SWORD pendant on "Geraldine"]
What is that?
What?
[gestures to the pendant] That symbol.
I [stammers], I—
Who are you?
[Softly, barely audible] I don't remember
[Aggressively] Who are you?
Wanda... I...I... Wanda.
[Monica Rambeau meets Jimmy Woo on the outskirts of Westview]
What's the story here, Agent Woo?
Uh, I've got a witness set up down the road in Westview, and this morning, it looked like he flew the coop.
Your missing person is in the Witness Protection Program?
I have contacted known associates, relatives...
And let me guess, none of them have seen him either?
No. None of them have ever heard of him. Something seemed hanky to me, so I took the first flight out of Oakland to interface with local law enforcement, which is when I encountered a new wrinkle.
What is that?
[turns to the Sheriff of Eastview] Pardon me, Sheriff. Would you mind repeating your claim about Westview to my colleague here?
[with a billboard reading "Welcome to Westview" behind him] No such place.
You're saying the town of Westview, New Jersey doesn't exist?
It's what I keep telling your G-Man here, but he won't listen.
I see. And, um, I'm sorry, what ... What town are you from?
Eastview.
Thank you, Sheriff. I'll reach out if we need any further assistance.
This isn't a missing person's case, Captain Rambeau, it's a missing town. Population 3,892.
Why haven't you gone inside to investigate?
'Cause it doesn't want me to. You can feel it, too, can't you? [They both look down the road at the Westview outskirts] Nobody's supposed to go in.
FBI, Army. I saw the Air Force Office of Special Investigations out there. Research Lab. Space Command, too. A bona fide joint multi-service response. Really looking forward to the commemorative T-shirt.
We don't know enough about the nature of the threat to send in another agent when the first is yet to return.
Someone must really miss you back at Quantico.
[snidely] No, sir. Softball season's over, sir.
[regarding the WandaVision broadcast] Is it authentic?
I'm not sure how to answer that.
Is it happening in real time? Is it recorded, fabricated?
I don't know. I don't know. And I don't know.
What do you know?
My equipment registered an extremely high level of CMBR. That's...
Relic radiation dating back to the Big Bang.
Yeah. Entwined was a broadcast frequency. So I had your goons pick me up a sweet vintage TV. And when I plug this bad boy in, voilà, sound and picture.
So you're saying the universe created a sitcom starring two Avengers?
It's a working theory.
[Jimmy and Darcy are watching WandaVision episode 3 as Wanda gives birth.]
[emotional] Twins. What a twist. [off Jimmy's look] What? I'm invested. [sniffles]
[Monica has broken character in front of Wanda by mentioning Pietro's death]
Who are you?
[slipping out of character] I...don't remember. [Wanda steps menacingly towards Monica]
[in a harsh whisper] Who...are you?
[forces a smile] Wanda, I'm just your neighbor.
Then how could you know about Ultron? [she conjures telekinetic energy in both of her hands] You're not my neighbor. And you're definitely not my friend. You are a stranger. An outsider. And right now, you are trespassing here. And I want you to leave. [she throws a bolt of energy at Monica, who is thrown backwards through the wall, two fences, and the Hex barrier]
[trying to comfort a crying baby Tommy] Please, sweet Tommy, don't you wanna sleep? Mommy wants to sleep. If you go to sleep, I promise, you will be my favorite twin!
[coming down the stairs with a crying baby Billy] Oh, come on now, darling. You know we love them both equally.
Well, don't tell him that! [Vision chuckles] No luck with Billy?
Tried reading to him, but for some reason, Charles Darwin's The Descent of Man made him cry even harder.
[Wanda finds Tommy and Billy in the kitchen, where they're giving Sparky a makeshift bath in the sink]
You know, I don't miss the crying, but jeez Louise, did you have to learn to walk? You two never stay put. [Wanda narrows her eyes at the twins, suspicious at how still they're standing] ...Unless you're "innocently" forming a human wall in front of the kitchen sink. [The dog sneezes] Bless you!
Thank you. [the dog barks]
Now tell me, which one of you just barked? Scoot! [The boys step off the stools, and Wanda notices the dog] Oh, boy! Waiter, what's this canine doing in my kitchen sink?
The doggy paddle?
Can we keep him, Mommy?
Well, I'm sure his owners miss him very much. Come on. [lifting the dog out of the sink] Huh, there really is no collar.
Can we keep him? He was outside, crying, alone.
Now boys, taking care of a living thing is a big responsibility. Dogs need food, exercise, training ...[slips into baby talk] belly rubs, and cuddles, and kisses between his little ears!
[SWORD has sent a drone in to talk to Wanda]
Wanda, this is Captain Monica Rambeau. Can you hear me? [Wanda glares up at the drone] I just want to talk. That's it. [As she watches, Wanda's eyes glow a bright red]
No joy.
Uh...my controls aren't working. Reconnect patch!
[to another agent] Disregard. Take the shot.
What? No, the drone isn't armed.
Take the shot!
[The drone operator fires the missile. Just as quickly, the feed goes dead]
[rips off her headset; to Hayward] What did you do?!
[An alarm goes off]
There's a breach, sir!
[Everyone piles out of the room, gets into their cars, and drives to the spot of the breach. After several seconds of waiting, the Hex barrier flickers a few times. Wanda emerges, dragging the drone behind her as she marches towards the S.W.O.R.D. agents]
Is this yours?! [Wanda tosses the drone at Hayward's feet]
The missile was just a precaution. You can hardly blame us, Wanda.
Oh, I think I can. This will be your only warning: Stay out of my home. You don't bother me, I won't bother you.
I wish it could be that simple. You've taken an entire town hostage.
I'm not the one with the guns, Director!
But you are the one in control.
[irritated] You're still here. [Wanda conjures a ball of energy in her right hand]
Wanda, I didn't know the drones were armed. But you know that, don't you? A town full of civilians and you, a telepath, brought a S.W.O.R.D. agent into your home. You trusted me to help deliver your babies! On some level, Wanda, you know I am an ally. I want to help you.
How? What could you possibly have to offer me?
What do you want?
I have what I want. [glares at Hayward] And no one will ever take it from me, again.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
