I have goats...in my pants!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Justice...thy name is Chin!
Of all my muscles, my brain is one of 'em!
I wonder why I got so bored with you?
Check out my dimple, it's huge!
Now I remember; your action phrases stunk!
You do my dishes, and you cut my lawn.
BBoy
But these are your chores.
And these are High Definition photos of you two sneaking into an R-rated movie! AND...ACTION!
Well, well, well, what's this? Two new toys? [grabs Cosmo and Wanda] Well, guess who they get to meet!
Not Mr. Hammer....
CWCosmo & Wanda
Mr. Hammer?
Yes, Mr. Hammer and his friend, Mrs. Saw! [Vicky takes out a hammer and saw.]
Hi, Mrs. Saw! I'm Cosmo, and this is Wanda! [Wanda glares at him.] Don't you want to be a good host?
NO! Those are Timmy's dolls!
Oh, that changes EVERYTHING! [she takes out a blowtorch.]
Hey! Mr. Fire! Have you met Wanda?
Bad dog! You know you're only supposed to do that outside or at Timmy's house!
I'm just...
CWCosmo & Wanda
A stupid ten year old boy!
Right. And I'm not interested in girls, and I won't be until I'm...
CWCosmo & Wanda
A stupid eleven year old boy!
Then...there's hope? THERE'S HOPE!
I am totally into the idea of you giving me to Tootie. This way, she'll always have a little piece of you that she can smother and choke with love.
Wow! That was an oddly specific action phrase.
I put the "man" in mandible!
When it rains, it melts!
I wish the Chin doll was indestructible and had 12,000 "I Hate Vicky" action phrases.
[Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands. Vicky fires her blow torch at the Crimson Chin action figure, but the toy remains intact]
Your icky, redheaded yuckiness cannot pierce the shield of Tootie's love! [Vicky fires her blow torch again, with the same result] Evil redheads make boy bands say "EWWWWW!"
Why won't this stupid toy BREAK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
[Mom and Dad are eating breakfast]
DDad
Honey, you've outdone yourself again! What do you call this?
MMom
Cold cereal and milk.
DDad
It's marvelous! I'm falling in love with you all over again!
DDad
Did you notice all of those nice things Timmy has? I don't remember getting him those nice things. Why don't I have nice things?! I want some nice things!
DDad
[seeing that Timmy's room is full of stuff that he hasn't bought for him] Young man, where did you get all these nice things?
Uh...Internet?
DDad
And where did you get Internet?
Uh...uh...
DDad
[gasps] He's stammering! Our son is the Wall-2-Wall-Mart shoplifter! [screams like a girl]
What?! You don't think I stole this stuff, do you?
DDad
[screams like a girl again]
That's a yes...but I didn't do it!
DDad
[screams like a girl again then passes out]
MMom
That's it, young man, you know you're not supposed to make your father scream like a girl three times in one day!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.