Rigby, she needs our support.
You heard her, Eileen. She wants to transfer colleges. What if we never see her again? (Then the words echo in Mordecai's mind and the tone gets lower. Mordecai starts to worry about never seeing Margaret ever again.) Right, Mordecai? Yo, Mordecai! Mordo, buddy, are you alright?
Guys, it's Margaret's last night of freedom! Let's surprise her with the biggest party of her life.
MRMordecai, Rigby and Eileen
T.G.I. Tuesday!
[Mordecai, Rigby, and Eileen duck a bit so their voices are kept down]
She gets off work at eight tonight, so we only have a few hours. First, let's get supplies.
MRMordecai, Rigby and Eileen
T.G.I. Tuesday.
Yep, the Parkside Lux. This ballroom used to host the most elegant balls in its day.
[Snickers, then Catra punches him] Ow!
CCatra
Stop it right now, or he'll take it all back!
Muscle Man, there is no way you're gonna pull this off.
I swear, I've done it, before.
MRMordecai and Rigby
Pffffft.
(Muscle Man lights up two gun lighters and lights up two fireworks. The two fireworks shoot up in the air, they bump and explode. Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost watch the fireworks.)
MMMordecai, Muscle Man, and Hi-Five Ghost
Whooooa...
[The tiny spark from the fireworks itself lights up all the fireworks. They look back, and then the fireworks explode. All of the fireworks goes up and explode all at the same time. Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost look at the fireworks, while all of this is going on, Benson appears on the scene. Benson looks at the fireworks exploding, and the grand finale explodes with the words "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!" Benson turns red, clearly enraged by what he has seen, he gets out the cart and goes up to them.]
(to Muscle Man) WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!
[angrily corners Muscle Man who backs away]WHY WOULD YOU LIGHT UP ALL THE FIREWORKS BEFORE THE BIGGEST EVENT OF THE YEAR?!?!
Just hang on now, Benson! I know this looks bad, but I can fix it.
[grabs Muscle Man by the shirt] Fix it?! FIX WHAT?!?!?! YOU JUST RUINED THE FOURTH OF JULY!!!!
I know! I know! Just hear me out. I know a guy who's got the hookup on cheap fireworks.
[screaming in Muscle Man's face that blasts his hair]I DON'T WANT CHEAP FIREWORKS!!!! THAT STUFF YOU JUST BLEW UP WAS TOP OF THE LINE!!!!!!!!
Benson, trust me. This guy's stuff is quality. I'll pay for it out of my own pocket.
[furiously throws Muscle Man to the ground]Alright, fine! But if you guys aren't back before the show starts at sundown, YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!! (Angrily drives Off)
Dude, you better be able to get those Fireworks.
This wasn't the deal! You guys were supposed to replace the ones that you set off this morning. That's it. I'm calling it off! You guys are all FIRED!
Alright, you guys. Somehow, you managed to top last year's firework show, so I guess I'm not gonna fire you.
MRMordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost
Yeah! / Alright.
In fact, I'm putting you 4 in charge of a very special job.
Oh, cool! What special job?
(turning red) REPLACING THE 3 FOOTBALL FIELDS WORTH OF GRASS YOU JUST BURNT!!!
[Benson and Skips walk away]
Don't worry. I know a guy who's got the hookup on real cheap sod.
Oh, man. [picks up the phone] Starla would love this! [remembers he can't contact her and hangs up] Relax, Muscle Man. You gotta give your lady her space. [takes out a van magazine to read, a lady on one turns into Starla]
Mitch, why aren't you calling to tell me about this?
[screams and tosses the magazine] Get it together, man! Get it together. [picks up a bag from Wing Kingdom; takes a tray of chicken nuggets out and dips one in sauce and hallucinates it as Starla] Huh?
CNChicken Nugget Starla
I miss you, Mitch.
[Muscle Man screams horrifyingly and tosses the nugget to a mop water puddle which turns into Starla's face]
MWMop Water Starla
Are you trying to ignore me?!
WSWatermelon Starla
Oh, really? Then why haven't you called?
But you said if I did, we'd have to break up! [looks out his window]
CSCloud Starla
Mitch. I didn't mean it.
BBBowling Ball Starla
Just pick up the phone.
SSStarla's Voice
Mitch, I miss you.
[Muscle Man freaks out and runs out of his trailer, screaming]
Dudes! Dudes, I need your help!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Chill out, Muscle Man.
This isn't the time for soda! This "Starla" thing is freaking me out! I see her everywhere! In my soup, in my chicken nuggets, it's driving me crazy! If I don't get some help, I'm gonna call her and she's gonna dump me!
Dude, it's only for the weekend. We'll help you through this.
Well well well well. Looks like it's time for a little payback. Let's see how they like it when somebody steal their OWN sandwich. [grabs the Death Sandwich and took a bite of Death Sandwich.]
[As Mordecai and Rigby enter the kitchen, they see Benson choking with his face all green when he took a bite of the Death Sandwich]
Whoa. Benson, are you okay?
It really is a Death Sandwich!
[choking] Death Sandwich?! Why would you buy something that kills people?!
Why would you eat somebody's sandwich?!
Come on guys, this is serious. We gotta get Benson a cure for the Death Sandwich before it's too late.
You guys have all your assignments for today. Oh, and don't forget that tonight is Game Night.
Yeah, Skips. What are we playing?
Tonight, we will be playing Drawsome.
Alright. I love me some Drawsome. Who else is showing up to this Drawsome event?
I got a giant baby, Gary, and my cousin Quips.
Your cousin Quips is annoying.
Yeah, man. He's always telling lame jokes.
What are you guys talking about?
Come on. Every other word out of that guy's mouth is some annoying joke.
Yeah. Some joke that isn't funny.
Come on, guys! His jokes aren't that bad.
QQuips
And then he said, "Yes, I do!" (laughs) Alright, seriously, last one, 'cause I got to go. What? Hey, wait! I didn't even get to finish my punchline! Aw, well. He's probably already heard my routine. Heeey, who's ready for some funny?
You guys all remember my cousin Quips.
QQuips
Hey, Benson. Nice to see ya. Speaking of "see ya", what did one ocean say to the other ocean? "Sea ya later!" (laughs)
QQuips
Oh, well, an ocean is a body of water and the sea is also—
QQuips
A little more care will give you a little more hair. Zingo!
QQuips
Pops, looking good. In fact, you look amazing. Just a compliment. Don't get a big head. Oops! Too late! Zammo! And, of course, Muscle Man, you love the jokes. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bay-gulls! (laughs) I got a whole bait about bodies of water. What? You say you want another one?
QQuips
What did the lake say to the puddle?
Come on, Quips. Let's get you unpacked. You probably want to lie down after your trip.
QQuips
Guess it's time to take this comedy show on the road. And by comedy show, I mean me! Zingo!
Dude, he's even worse than last time.
Yeah, Skips. Tell your cousin that if he can't stop telling jokes, then he's gotta get out of here.
I can't just do that. I invited him here. No one told you to get rid of your brother Don when he visited.
That's because everyone loved him! I tried to get rid of him!
Ugh! Alright, fine. I'll tell him soon.
QQuips
Wow, guys. Those coughs sound pretty serious. You guys should see a doctor. Oh, that reminds me. Why did the clown go to the doctor? He was feeling a little funny!
He's our new friend. Dancing caveman.
Caveman? No, no. No way. I'm not having a caveman at the park. We aren't insured for it.
Yeah, we can't just get rid of him!
A caveman cannot fit into this modern world.
[Caveman squeezes a ketchup bottle and mustard bottle into his mouth and he throw the bottles at Benson, who blocks them with the clipboard]
But he'll die out there alone! Come on, Benson.
MRMordecai & Rigby
Please?
…Fine. You have a week to get him civilized.
But if he isn't up to park standards in a week, I'm calling the pound!! [leaves]
We're gonna need some help.
MRMordecai, Rigby and Pops
Hoagie Sandwich! Hoagie Sandwich!
Squeeze out the Mustard, do it real quick!
A dab of Mayo, too much'd be sick!
Healthy veggies'll make this valid!
And don't forget the main ingredients so we don't confuse it with a salad!
MRMordecai, Rigby and Pops
Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat!
A group of four fully grown Canadian Geese show up on the bridge. The Geese start attacking the lakeside, starting by scaring a couple away, pushing a squirrel off the bridge, and even dropping a giant rock on a paddle boat with a couple in it, breaking it and sending the couple into the lake. Two of the geese chest pound each other.
Those ruffians!! (Gets up and runs to the geese) Now see here, geese!! Your behavior is most uncouth! Now, I'm afraid- (Geese start pushing him around) Ahhhh! (runs away, sobbing)
Hey, quit it! (The geese stare at the sandwich and Rigby realizes it.) PROTECT THE SANDWICH!
(The geese attack it and throw it in the trash can as Rigby jumps into Mordecai's arms.)
(The geese start punching the trash can, smashing it in the process, and rolls the trash can towards the three where it may have hit another trash can, sending some garbage flying in the air.)
Benson, something's gotta be done about those geese! Pops is locked in his room crying!
Yeah, we've been getting complaints. They're highly territorial war-like birds. Luckily, I got a couple guys who'll be takin' care of the problem.
Couple of guys named Mordecai and Rigby.
Maybe you don't understand, Benson, these geese — they're terrifying.
I don't wanna hear it. DO IT OR YOU'RE FIRED!!
Man, you always say that. You're all talk, Benson.
[Benson chases them off his office]
Hey, Benson. How's it going?
What did I tell you about using the park phone?!
Ugh! I feel something kind of damp.
Yeah, I feel it, too. What do you think it is?
I don't know. Feels kind of like a wet blanket.
Very funny. Now hang it up and put the TV back in the living room!
We really think we can do this.
I don't care. If I catch you trying this again, YOU'RE FIRED!
