Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
There's something bewitching about Nazz today. An unusual enchantment. [unwittingly steps on Ed's face as he walks off] A happening of sorts.
She's happening, all right. [follows Edd, also stepping on Ed's face]
I feel like a doormat. Can it be love?
Nazz is as graceful as a gazelle leaping through a field of buttercups...
Yeah...a ga-whatchamacallit...
[in thought] She's so radical.
[in thought] She can't keep her eyes off me.
[in thought] Her hair is so clean and not fly-away at all.
[in thought] Hello? Echo! MY NAME IS ED!
Nazz would love a new bike.
Or a new toilet?
Not the bike, dork.
That's it, Jimmy. Distribute your weight. Balance.
That tickles.
Yes and now try standing.
Don't let me fall! [eventually manages to stand up on the wooden board inside Edd's pool] Hot diggety dog! I'm surfing!
Not quite there, mini-kahuna, but if you're brave enough, we at Ed's Surf School will teach you how to flip the lip, hang ten, or shave the barrel, for an additional fee, of course. [opens a soda] Can you handle it?
I'm stoked! Teach me! Teach me! [starts to lose balance] AH! Don't let go! Don't let go!
I wouldn't think of it, Jimmy.
Too bad! Plank was just aching to try a new ride! [laughs] One time Plank went on a roller coaster 119 times in a row. Whew! I chucked biscuits after that, didn't I, buddy? Why, Plank spent his whole allowance that day; a regular Rockefeller.
Plank gets an allowance? Have I got a ride for you. [grabs Plank and throws him in he air]
Plank?!
Nice ride, huh, Plank? That'll be 25 cents.
Plank says you throw like a toothpick, Eddy. He won't pay for kiddie rides.
Well, you tell that doorstop Eddy's got a ride that will round his corners. And it's cheap, cheap, cheap.
Plank says your mouth runs faster than six-month-old cheese, Eddy.
I'll take that as a yes.
I object. My skin is still prune from that surf school fiasco.
Ed, who are we to deny Plank the thrill of a lifetime? Let's get to work. [hands Plank to Ed] Who says money can't buy happiness?
[to Plank] Hello, my name is Ed.
[Both Ed and Eddy ran through the eggplant garden while the latter chases Ed with a broccoli]
[climbing out of the knocked-down outhouse] Can't Rolf have one moment of peace? MY EGGPLANTS!!!
[in his nightmare] Mom, Sarah's fibbing! Honest and for truly! I was in my happy place lost in the void of my mind!
Oh Ed, wouldn't it be fun if we had some company?
You bet! Do you think they will like peanut butter?
Oh, I'm sure they will.
Not that is out of place in this den of dishevelment, but why is there a vehicle sitting in your brother's bedroom?
He keeps his snake in the trunk. Huh. The little weasel must have escaped again.
Escaped? Oh dear, oh dear, oh- [runs into a stuffed camel]
Hey, watch the camel! I said, no touching.
Wow, I wish I had a room like this.
[The Eds are hiding under the Kankers' trailer]
This is becoming extremely dangerous, Eddy.
Let's get the stash and get out of here.
Is that you tickling me, Eddy?
There you are. Oh, man, I can see it now. Mansions, yachts, friends. [opens the suitcase]
Wishbones?
I'm so confused.
I think your brother's a whiz at pulling your leg, Eddy.
Looks like we've adopted some groundhogs, eh, girls?
Cute chubby-cheeked ones, too.
Hey, I forgot where I hid these.
I was walking on the sidewalk until I saw a bug. Hello bug. I walked up to this tree and hit my head on this branch. Sorry, it was this one. And I gazed at the stars.
Ed, please don't do that.
C'mon, we're wasting time. Where'd you hide the magazines, Ed?
Rubber chicken, Eddy. [he pulls one out of his jacket, tosses it away, and runs down the street] Hide the box, hide the box I said. [he slips on the chicken] But then I tripped! Hanging on to my pal's box of magazines, for dear life, I fell and slid into a sewer.
A SEWER?! My magazines are in the sewer?!
Well I suppose one man's treasure is another man's trash. You realize if your magazines are in that sewer, Eddy, they'd be totally illegible, the text smeared by the damp sludge.
It's the pictures I'm worried about.
[Edd has pressed Ed's face between two glass plates]
What's with Ed's face?
Will you just let me do this, Eddy?
[Edd is looking at germs through Ed's face with a microscope]
Ed, there's a new invention called soap; have you heard of it?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
