Okay. I dare you, Eddy, to sprout the wings of a bat and stomp like a zombie while whistling Row, Row, Row Your Boat through a car wash.
Ed, try a more reasonable dare, please.
Okay, I dare Eddy to be Double D.
Eddy act like me? Why, that's–
Stupid, Ed. You blew your chance to–
Y'know, Eddy. It could be quite intriguing. Why, I'd be flattered if you were to mimic me.
Let's see, where do I start? [mimicking Double D] The wind conditions are absurd. The lean is too steep for the fat.
[Double D chuckles]
[pretends to strain to budge the bottle, unable to move it an inch] Oh, dear. The unsanitary. My skinny arms cannot bear the weight. Oh oh I know. I'll move it with my brain.
[sarcastically] Ha, ha, ha. Very good, Eddy. [spins the bottle] Can we resume playing? [the bottle settles on him] Oh dear.
Ha! I dare ya to be Ed. Go on, flatter him.
Well, I suppose I could, but only if Ed will be Eddy.
I can do Eddy, I practiced. Can it, Double Dweeb!
Whaddya mean you practiced?
Please, Eddy. You're invading my personal space.
[The Eds laugh]
Very well. Uh, let's see now. [manipulates his face so his eyes are spread out across his face] Buttered toast.
[The Eds laugh again]
Hurry, as the raspberries beg to be squashed, Ed-boy.
EAEd as Eddy
Let's sell the squash for cash. Chicken! Pet the chicken, pet the chicken... The stupid bird stole my quarter. Flew away with it.
EAEddy as Edd
Excuse me, 'Eddy'. May I fuel inject? Chickens cannot fly, as they are mammals.
EAEdd as Ed
I love chickens, Eddy.
[The Eds laugh]
EAEd as Eddy
Wake up, Monobrow.
EAEdd as Ed
Oh right. Yes. Ahem. I am Ed.
You are not Ed-boy. I must have the large Ed-boy here now. So please, Ed-boy, raspberries to squash. Thank you.
EAEddy as Edd
Rolf said, thank you. Isn't it refurbishing to hear politeness?
EAEd as Eddy
Put a sock in it, sock in it. I got a plan. Hey, burnhead. I will now inflict pain on you.
EAEdd as Ed
What? [Ed knocks Edd into the raspberry silo] Buttered toast?
No butter, raspberries. Squish the fruit, slowpoke Ed-boy. Rolf needs juice for his great thirst.
EAEddy as Edd
Eddy, I too am thirsty. Quite partial, to be correct.
EAEdd as Ed
Parched. The word you're looking for is parched.
EAEd as Eddy
Yeah, right, Lumpy. Parched is a fish. [laughs]
EAEddy as Edd
Intriguing.
You are not Ed. You have cursed my raspberries to the life of salad dressing, impostor with tiny feet.
EAEd as Eddy
You know what they say, Double D. If you're thirsty, take a drink. Gee, Double D. You really let yourself go. Kids'll pay big money to ride a blimp. You're a genius, Double D.
EAEdd as Ed
You really think I'm a genius?
EAEddy as Edd
Hey, I'm Double D. I'm the genius.
EAEd as Eddy
I have caused discomfort 'cause I'm Eddy! [laughs]
[The 'Eds' laugh]
Rolf has never been so confused.
[has fallen through the open manhole] Sarah!
I fell on my tushy, Sarah!
Don't move! I'll save you! [pulls out a modified fishing pole and casts it in. She catches Jimmy and hauls him out] Pee-yew, Jimmy, you stink.
That's putting it mildly.
Hey, why don't you let the guy have some fun, huh?
You're in a sewer, idiot. It's dirty, and stinky...
It's called ambiance. It's a swamp ride, get it? What do you girls know about- [a sign is thrown down at him] No skin off my nose, Sarah. I'm sure Kevin, Rolf, even Jonny will-
And they won't be back till supper. Bye bye.
Pinch me I'm dreaming. Whee. I feel just like Elvis Presley. Jealous? [the golden paint develops cracks] Oh no. [gasped] When will the torment end? [falls, and the paint on the pants shatters into tiny pieces. He is wearing Ed's pants]
That wasn't gold, fakers.
Nope. Can't think of a word.
[Nazz retrieves the $5 bill from Eddy]
Here's your money, Jimmy. [to the Eds] Grow up.
Wait till you get home, Ed.
Spending extended time in female company can be mentally disorientating and physically confusing.
Ed's trouser-less state seems to have jogged an intellectual moment within the confines of his brain.
Well, that didn't last long.
[holding a sprig of mistletoe] Do you see what I see? [puckers up]
Where'd you get that mistletoe? It's July!
There's no kissing allowed in my parents' room, Ed!
[using Edd as a shield] You take care of Ed, Double D. I've got another nut to crack. Or should I say, piggy bank.
[Ed exposes the scam to the kids]
Edd [tearful]: Oh, I'm so ashamed... [breaks down, whilst Ed comforts him]
There, there, Double D. Santa forgives.
[singing at Rolf's front door] We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas-
[Rolf opens the door wearing festive native clothing. Confused, Eddy and Double D stop singing]
[continues singing] ...We wish you a merry Christmas, so give us some cash!
[Wilfred oinks]
[puts a strip of bacon into the Eds' cash jar] No cash. A fine strip of bacon, yes?
Murphy's law, do your stuff! [a clothespin lands on his foot] Ouch! My foot! It's broken! Owie!
That clothespin went right for him, Plank.
Did someone get the number of that launderade?
[comes down in a kiddie pool standing on his tongue as his grand finale] Ta-da! [sees all the kids leaving]
Plank says clothespins are known to attack at the blink of an eye.
Here Jimmy. Drink some water.
Is there anything we can do for you?
Let Rolf nurture you with a bowl of Nano's pre-chewed seven-course dinner?
My tummy, Sarah. Pitiless is the tempest sea.
Emergency. We must implement the boat procedures.
