We are really, really good bosses.
Yeah, I know. We cares about all of dems. It's like a plantations, but de slaves is our friends.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
I would like to ask questions next time.
Are you askings us to do that, Toki?
Ya I don'no.
Dats interesting. You saids, 'I woulds likes to asks a question.' Dats a statements.
What... is... the difference?
That's, a great question.
[points at dead body of a Klokateer that Agent 216 has killed] Look at this one! Asleeps in some bloods! We gots to gets tougher on these guys maybe huh?
Yeah, well, all I can think about is the raffle. Can we win it?
Well dude, I fucking hope so, that's the only reason my ass is goin' 'ere!
Oh yeah! And there's gonna be an awesome motivational speaker. Oh my God I love being motivated. I love being motivated!
Me too!
I LOVE BEING MOTIVATED!
[A video on being considerate at the workplace airs.]
I have to works with you everyday. So please, would you please take it easy on the cologne?
While that hurts my feelings, I understand.
When you see a piece of trash on the ground, don't just stand there, PICK IT UUUUUP!
Yeah! And don't leave your lunch lying around either! It attracts ants!
And most important, remember - death is an everyday part of the workplace!
[Toki is shown taking out the trash and comes across a rotting corpse.]
So, when you see a dead body, don't freak out!
Wowee!
Just... ring your Deth-bell!
[Toki rings his Deth-bell]
[During an employee raffle, Klokateer 216 kicks Agent 216 in the face and begins to break his foot, Agent 216 is screaming but kicks Klokateer 216 in the face, Agent 216 loads a pistol and aims it at Murderface.]
Congratulations 216 you have won...
[Klokateer 216 trips Agent 216, who falls head-first into William's cod piece, which rams all the way through his skull. Blood sprays everywhere.]
...this diamond encrusted... cod-piece.
[Murderface rings his Deth-bell.]
CCustomer
Ay fuckface! Give me four number fives!
...Ummm... uhh... how much you wanted? A five?
CCustomer
No, retard! I want four fives!
[long pause] Ummmmmmm...
CCustomer
Listen, Tonto! You give me four fives! And you do it now!
You - you wanted... you wanted?
CCustomer
Hey, wait a minute, aren't you Nathan Explosion?
[long pause] Yeah, I guess I am.
CCustomer
Didn't you have anything to fall back on after your band was killed by blackbirds?
Huh. No I never graduated from high school -
MManager
He's a complete idiot! Cannot even function! He's so Stupid!
Yeah. I'm stupid! Oh I am.
CCustomer
Oh, well that's too bad. OH SHIT LOOK OUT! [deliberatly squirts Nathan in the face with ketchup]
OWWWWW! I'LL KILL YOU!
CCustomer
Oh, now you gotta go wash your face!
Ohh face, yeah - [places hands in the deep-fryer and splashes hot oil on his face, attempting to wash it] OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
MManager
That's the deep-fryer you idiot!
CCustomer
Your face is burning!
Sorry I'm late guys, I uh... just had another one a those, I-can't-figure-it-out dreams again, you know... I think I might be stupid.
How can you be stupid? You're famous!
That is true...
And yous a billionaire!
Dat sounds smart to me no matter how many times you slice it.
Hey quick! What's six times, um, er, uh... twelve!
Oh, hey, what the fuck?!
I gets punch for laughing?!
Laughing hurts more.
Nathan Explosion is furthering his education. This could have devastating repercussions!
NNDr. Natasha Neshenskanovich
General. America is the dominant force in the world because our great people are dangerous and stupid. Nathan Explosion is a hero to the ignorant. If he seeks higher education, they will start to act as if they're as good as anyone! If the secret gets out that the working class is as smart as the upper crust that runs the world, well, the results would be catastrophic.
Now wait, what do you mean five minus x? What is... what is x?
MLMordhaus Librarian
Oh sweetie... it's just algebra.
It's stupid, and it's not even that akikabablel.
MLMordhaus Librarian
Applicable.
[attempts to say applicable repeatedly, but fails] IT'S STUPID!
But it's wrong!
Hey, I don't care how wrong it is. Just admit it; I'm a great speller and it burns you.
You're not a great speller! You got to spell right to be a speller!
So what? A guy hits a home run, but since he's fat it's not a home run? It's gotta be perfect? That's not the point.
Now that is the point! THAT - IS - SPELLING!
Ech, they can't helps it, Toki. Not everyone gets the advantage of superior Skanzanavians ekocationen.
'Kay, name something that's got nothin' ta do with guitar go, go go go go go...
[unable to produce an answer] Oh, dum, dah, uh, oh, um, ah...
I'm ready. I had that uh, "I'm late for class and I'm in my underwear" dream, but - my palms are sweaty and I can't concentrate, I CAN'T CONCENTRATE!
That's anxiety! A-N-X-I-E-T.
Um, Nathans? What do yous do, before you're nervous, at a show?
You know what you do...
Yeah, whaddaya you, whaddaya you do? [shakes a bottle of liquor in front of Nathan] What's Nathan do?
Just have a little drink!
That's it! I have a little drink! [starts drinking the entire bottle of liquor]
That's what you do!
I'm here, uh, to take the GBD.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.