Hey guys, it's me, Facebones. Now's the time you've all been waiting for. Your very own exclusive super duper exclusive fan song and one time only song videooooo [holds the last syllable for 16 seconds] ...roll it.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
If they only knew how much we hated them, I mean they just keep crawling back like groveling putrid stupid zombies that just want to eat our brains that is our art.
Hey, what are you doing?
GGuard
He's in a wheelchair my lords, I did not know what to do.
Take a walk, before I kill you.
Oh come on, screw that Internet crap, I mean come on, what is the Internet, you know? Seriously... what is the Internet?
Your money's waaaay down there. Behind that door, 'ya see it? Hey, 'ya better hurry up, closing time's in two minutes.
EEric
All the way over-
I'd serpentine if I were you. [Charles closes and locks the door behind them, then makes a phone call] It's show time.
EEdgar
Why should we serpentine? [Eric is headshot] Whoa, serpentine! [Edgar flees down the passage, weaving to avoid bullets from Klokateer snipers]
We have liberated your island from you, your island that was once a nucular, nuclear testing facility that has in turn tragically disfigured you all into ugly horrible-looking mutants. And we now decree your island the Dethklok Home for Wayward Kitties. RELEASE THE KITTIES!
[playing with a laser pointer] My god, these things are amazing. Check it out, I'm an eye doctor.
Can you please give me the laser pointer? It does not belong to you.
Hey, wait your turn.
Hey, point that into my eyes again. Awww, yeaaah, it's awesome!
Points the laser beams at my too eye. Awhhh, cool...
Yeah but checks dis out! I can force all the bloods to my face and gives myself a real cool blowjob!
Dat's what I'm talkin' about!
Pfft... you means nosebleed, not blowjob. Idiot.
I'm sorry, who is that fat kid?
Don't play dumb, you know who that is.
I have no idea who that is. Who the hell is that?
Uh, hello, that's our son.
Yeah, we adopted him, for charity?
I'm sorry, how is that charity?
Then we are his foster fathers. What do you mean? That's for charity, right?
No Nathan, that's not donating money to organizations. That's... that doesn't help our tax situation.
Seriously?
Yeah. Can you give him back?
Hey that's a crappy thing to say but no, I don't think we can. We tried.
Well, let's talk about the big show. You guys are performing at the United Celebrities of the World Foundation with the London Philharmonic, kind of a big deal, London Philharmonic, blah blah.
The donation will go to pharmaceutical research.
What kind of pharmaceugical research? [still playing with the laser pointer]
Well, I'm not sure. It doesn't say.
Have those guys cured anything?
Uhhh... no. It says here, no, they have not.
Ok. Shouldn't they have cured at least one disease?
Well, it doesn't matter. All you need to know is that if you want to keep your money, you do this show.
See, that makes more sense to us. Just say that from now on.
Dudes, what the hell is wrong with this guy? He can't stand still.
Maybe he gots to go outside and gos to the... B-A-S-T-H-R-O-H-M-N-S-E.
Don't kill him, leave him alone! He's my son!
I'm not, you idiot, I'm... using... hug therapy on him! Read somewhere it's supposed to calm him down! [Nathan Grunts and Fatty stops squirming] Oh... dear sweet... Lord, I think he just used the restroom in his shorts. [drops Fat Kid] I guess he did have to go outside.
Hey goofball, look who's all neutered! You are! Yeah you're neutered, huh goofball, yeah! Who's a neutered guy?
You know, I'm starting to get sick of dis fatherhoods thing, and why are we the ones who always get stuck feeding his fat ass? I think they racist or something.
Well, it's not supposed to be easy, Toki. Eats your foods, Fatty Ding-Dong, because your daddies goings to take yous to thes charitys show, to's sees daddies play... eh, he's not listening. I don't know Toki, fatherhood is a strange word. So much responsibility, and whats are the rewards? Huh?
I suppose... I feel a sense... of pride... knowing I help raise him... so dere is dat. HERE'S A BUCKET OF HANKBURKERS, AND A COUPLE OF BIG GULPS AND CRAPS, YOU FAT TITS!
Try not to choke, you fat tub of shit. We loves you!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.