[recurring line] Wild!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Tarnished reputations are unfortunate, Robin. We can live with those. However, a threat to all of Gotham City is something else.
We have tickets for tonight's finals in the Gotham City Miss Galaxy contest. I know Robin is a little young for this sort of thing, but...
I'm not gonna be young all my life, Batman, and besides beauty contests are practically an American institution.
You see, gentlemen, such pure logic is indisputable.
CCornelia
It's a cool pad, Joker.
Huh, all you've seen of this cool pad, Cornelia, is that mirror. Vanity is a waste of time. I never look at myself.
CCornelia
Well I'm younger, Joker, and a girl; and it is a cool pad.
Well, it will do for the purpose.
SSSam Stone
Your daily workout, Batman?
Yes, crimefighters have to stay in shape, but you know that.
SSSam Stone
Well, my job's a little easier. Sometimes, a fast gun has the edge on a fast batrope. I'm not invading your territory, I'm just tracking down a clue incognito.
Welcome, and good luck. If you need help, you can always locate us through Commissioner Gordon's office.
The Batphone number's is unlisted.
SSSam Stone
Smart thinking. Don't slip.
And if you want to pollute any more water, you'll find plenty where you're going -- up the river!!
LLatch
This joke of the Joker's don't strike me as being too funny. What if we get caught?
BBolt
We won't Latch. Think of all we owe the Joker. The fine things he's done for us: Sneaking those files into the prison; dumping our parole officer in the Gotham River; kidnapping that entire jury, and holding the judge's wife as hostage. He's been a real friend.
LLatch
You're right, Bolt. There should be more fine, upstanding men like the Joker.
Watch out, Batman! The powers of darkness lurk in this room!
[to Marsha] Batman's never rude to a lady. But you're no lady.
[after the minister is presented a supposedly legitimate marriage certificate]
MMinister
Why didn't you tell me about this, Batman?
It, um, slipped my mind?
MMinister
Slipped your mind indeed. I am not in the habit of marrying bigamists.
MMarsha
[after scanning the marriage certificate] Why you two-timing Bat-fink!
[to Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara] My experience with women has been that they tend to believe what they want to believe. So, knowing you both to be conscientious gentlemen and faithful husbands, I'm sure that if you just tell both your wives that you were involved in some special and, uh, confidential assignment, that will suffice.
Have you ever been married?
Eh -- Well, no, no.
Alfred, at the risk of sounding pompous, experience with women and experience with wives are two vastly different things.
Amen.
I'll bet you are probably wondering what all this is for.
That thought did cross my mind.
Pretty soon I'm gonna shoot this trusty six-shooter of mine. and when I do, a herd of cattle is gonna come stomping this way. in a mighty big hurry.
Holy stampede!
Now, those cows don't stop coming for no man. Not even you, Bat Fella. And when they get through stomping. There ain't gonna be enough of you left to put in a thimble.
Shame on you, Shame!
Watch your tongue. Hasta la vista, partners. I'll tell everybody you died with your Bat Boots on. [laughs maniacally]
I always thought they [bulls] went for red capes, Batman.
Merely an affectation, Robin. Something to make the corrida seem more colorful. Actually, bulls are color-blind. They react to movement, not to color.
Holy toreador!
The word is "matador", Robin. "Toreador" is a word of convenience used by Bizet in his classic opera Carmen.
Holy matador, then!
Very apt.
But he knows that we know about his hideout there!
Correct! However, knowing that, he'd think that we'd think he would not return there, therefore he did and so will we!
Holy Bat Logic.
It sure is a shame, Batman. A restaurant with such terrific chow turning out to be a mere front for some criminal scheme.
Look at it this way, Robin. That $100 cover charge is pretty stiff. Penguin's "terrific chow" is hardly within the budget of the average worker.
Gosh yes, you're right, Batman. All the needy people in the world, all the hungry children.
Good thinking, Robin.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.