Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[After Dipper, Mabel, Wendy and Soos trap the Shape Shifter back in the freezer]
You think you're so clever, don't you, Dipper? But you have no idea what you're up against. You will never find the author! If you keep digging, you'll meet a fate worse than you can imagine - and this will be the last form you ever take!
[It turns into Dipper and does a terrified scream, becoming frozen in that shape]
[to Dipper] Good luck sleeping tonight.
Listen Dipper, I'm like super flattered, but... I'm too old for you. I mean you know that, right?
Mabel said confessing would make me feel better.
Well how do you feel?
Anxious. Scared. Kinda itchy.
Dude, don't be itchy man. Let me tell you something. This summer was super boring until you showed up. I have more fun with you than like practically anybody else. And if you ever stopped being my friend... I would like throw myself into the Bottomless Pit!
Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they've probably got some of my hair in them.
Pass.
[Meeting the Lilliputtians]
Uh, I dunno, guys. I'm not sure I wanna get involved in your weird mini-blood feud.
Pst, Mabel. This is perfect. These guys control the course. Just tell them you'll give the sticker to whichever group does a better job of helping us win.
I'm not sure, Dipper. I wanna beat Pacifica, but doesn't this seem like... cheating?
Pacifica's rich, Mabel. She's cheating at life.
Now remember, Pacifica, winning is everything.
Oh, and looks. Winning and looks.
Dad, I've been practicing for, like, a million hours. I got this. You'll stay and watch, right?
Pacifica, darling, we have a party to go to. We'll just read about your victory in the paper. Oh, and whatever happens, just remember one thing. You're a Northwest. Don't lose.
[to Sergei] How much you wanna bet they're no-shows?
[Lights come on, revealing Mabel and Dipper]
Looking for someone?
[sarcastic] Waiting in the dark? Not creepy at all.
[As Stan, Soos, Dipper and Mabel take Pacifica home in their car]
Hey, I found two tacos.
You're allowed to eat in the car?
Yeah. The car is where secret surprise snacks happen. Want one?
Oh, I'm not supposed to take handouts.
"Handouts"? It's called sharing. You do know what sharing is, right?
"Sha... shahring"?
Just take it.
Tell your servant I like his W-neck.
Yes!
Don't stay up all night, Dipper. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.
Well, well, well. You're awfully persistent, Pine Tree. Hats off to you.
You again!
Did you miss me? Admit it, you missed me.
Hardly! You worked with Gideon, you tried to destroy my uncle's mind!
It was just a job, kid! No hard feelings. I've been keeping an EYE ON YOU since then, and I must say, I'm impressed.
Really?
You deserve a prize. Here, have a head that's always screaming.
[He claps; a screaming head appears and drops in front of Dipper. Bill snaps and shreds the head to a skull layer by layer]
[cackles] The point is, I like you. How's about you let me give you a hint, huh? I only ask for a small... favor in return.
I'd never do a favor for you! Don't forget who defeated you last time!
Right, you "defeated me". Well, if you ever change your mind, [pretends to grab Dipper's brain] I'll be here for you, ready to make a deal. Hey, wanna hear my impression of you in about three seconds? AAH! [come to reality, Dipper wakes up]
AAH!
[in Dipper's body] Man, it has been so long since I've inhabited a body. [slaps himself on the cheek] Whoo! [slaps the other cheek] Haha, pain is hilarious.
[in Dipper's body, holding a can of Pitt cola] Human soda. I'm gonna drink it like a person. [pours it in his mouth and on his eyes, laughing]
[as a ghost] I'm gonna stop you, Bill! I'm going to find that journal before you do, and I'm gonna stop you!
[in Dipper's body] But how can you stop me if you don't exist? [cackles evilly]
[in Dipper's body] Hey, Soos, wanna hear the exact time and date of your death?
[chuckles] Okay.
He loves it. This play has to be flawless. Can we wait until after the show?
[as a sock puppet] Mabel, you want me to be a sock puppet forever?!
[laughs] I'm sorry. You look funny when you're mad.
[Dipper grunts angrily, which is the exact same thing Kermit the Frog did]
Okay, okay, okay, just take over for me till I get back. Little puppet face.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
