I am ready to take on the greatest Fight Fighters! Take me to the Soviet Union!
Uh, that's gonna be tough...for a number of reasons.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
TTeenager
[is handed keys to a new car] I love you, Dad.
[Rumble McSkirmish runs by and smashes the car]
TTeenager
Oh. My. Car,
FFather
We'll just buy another one.
TTeenager
I love being rich.
You can hide, but you cannot hide!
Haha! You fight like a girl! Who is also a baby!
We need to just learn to hate each other in silence.
You mean, like what girls do?
Why Mabel, I wouldn't hurt a hair on your itty-bitty head. If you agree to be my queen.
NO! Never! I will fight you till the day I- Gummy Koalas! [is dropped into bag, nibbles gummy koala]
[on the phone to Stan] Stanford Pines, listen to me very closely. I have your niece and nephew. Hand over the deed to the Mystery Shack right now, or great harm will befall them. [pause] This is Gideon, by the way.
[laughs] Oh yeah, this is gonna be your worst plot yet. They're fine. I saw them playing in the yard minutes ago.
I have them in my possession! You don't believe me?! I will text you a photo!
"Text me a photo"? Now you're not even speaking English!
But-
[Stan hangs up]
[After Gorney re-emerges from the Summerween Trickster]
'Sup, Gorney?
GGorney
I've been twamatized.
What's going on out here, dudes? I heard a ruckus. Heh-heh, that's a funny word. "Ruckus".
I'm so excited.
We're gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy.
And have the biggest stomach aches ever
Yeah
[everyone is watching TV, eating the candies. Grunkle Stan tells everyone the meaning of Summerween]
You know, kids? I've been thinkin'. At the end of the day, Summerween isn't about candy or costumes, or even scaring people. It's a day when the whole family can get together at one place and celebrate what really matters... PURE EVIL.
[everyone laughs heartily and then]
I ate a man alive tonight.
[Stan, Mabel and Dipper are watching a game show called CASH WHEEL]
AAnnouncer
Ladies and gentlemen we now return to CASH WHEEL. Sponsored by CHIPACKERZ: The chip flavored crackers.
They taste just like chips.
[Stan is leading a group of tourists thru The Mystery Shack]
Ladies and Gentletourists, looking around my Mystery Shack, you'll see many wondrous roadside attractions. Be AMAZED - at the only known photo of a horse.. riding another horse. That's- that's pretty good.
[the tourists utter OOH and WOW]
Be astounded by the horrible, pre-teen Wolf Boy.
[Stan draws a curtain revealing Dipper shirtless with fake wolf ears, fangs and fur pants]
Oh look at him. All that hair. His body is changing... Ah!
[Dipper spits out his fake wolf teeth]
Grunkle Stan, this is demeaning.
What? I don't know 'Da Meaning' of that word.
[The tourists laugh]
If you throw money at him he dances.
[The tourists throw money at Dipper as he whimpers, jumps around and gets pelted by coins]
No buts except yours out the door. now shut your yap and get to work.
Grunkle Stan, whatever happened to please and thank you? Hmmm. Oh wait here they are.
[Mabel takes out a bag of stickers and puts two on Stan's face that say "Please" and "Thank you"]
Oh! Who's that? Is it Questiony The Question Mark?
Uhhh...I'm starting to have second thoughts about this Mabel. I keep forgetting my lines...And this costume is more uhhh...revealing than I expected.
Soos, don't give up. [ Mabel flips through an 80's book called "Succeeding In Management"] Anything is possible when you...imaginize it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.