[Dipper confronts the Multibear.]
MMultibear
Child, why have you come here?
Multibear, I seek your head. Or, one of them, anyway. There's like...six? Six heads?
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[All the clones are fighting]
1#10
Hey! Classic Dipper's getting away!
No friends, it's me, #7.
[They All Look at #7]
7#7
That's not me guys! THAT'S NOT ME!
[Dipper and Mabel go off to enjoy Pioneer Day]
Grunkle Stan, you coming?
No thank you. Just remember: if you two come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me.
[In an old-timey accent] There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar.
[Likewise] Well, hornswaggle my haversack.
[They spit on the ground and runoff, laughing]
DEAD TO ME!
[Stan attempts to drive away, but his car is stuck in the mud. He calls out to a man who is walking with a donkey.]
Hey you! Uh, Donkey Boy! Give me a hand with my car, will ya?
MMan
Here in 1863, I have never heard tell of a "car." Tell me, what is this magic wheel-box?
C'mon, Steve, you're a mechanic for Pete' sake! Cut me some slack!
MMan
"Slack?" I am unfamiliar with this bold new expression!
I can't take it anymore. [grabbing the man by the collar] I'm getting dumber every second I'm here!
[Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland run over, batons drawn]
Are we gonna have to intervene here?
Oh, look. The "constable!" What are you gonna do? Throw me in "ye stocks?" [laughs]
[Cut to Stan being locked in the stocks]
Oh, come on!
We're gonna have to break in.
[Spy music plays; cut to the twins just entering the museum normally]
MMuseum Lady
And here are your balloons; blue and pink!
[Spy music plays again]
We're in.
MOMan on Film
If you're watching this, you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot once the filming is complete. [Someone speaks offscreen.] What? No? Ha! Well, that's a relief.
[Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland are chasing Dipper Mabel and Quentin Trembley across the top of a train after the three escaped from a crate]
There is .... No escape! [out of breath] I gotta take a knee.
Are you ok? Can I get you anything?
Edward Durland you are a diamond in the rough.
Sheriff Blubs do you really want to lock us all up in a government facility somewhere?
I got no choice. Our orders come from the very top.
Wait. Quentin did you ever sign an official resignation?
No sir. I ate a salamander and jumped out the window.
You've done a great service to your country Mabel. As thanks I'd like to make you an official US congressman.
[Trembley pulls out a top hat and places it on Mabel's head]
I'm legalizing EVERYTHING!
QTQuentin Trembly
...And then he chased me around with a paddle for like, three hours. Bottom line: George Washington was a jerk.
Agreed.
QTQeuntin Trembley
Children I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I will always be right here...[Shows Dipper some paper money] On the negative twelve dollar bill.
Whoa! This is worthless!
It's LESS than worthless my boy! TREMBLEY AWAY!
[Trembley gets on a horse backwards and rides off]
Where do you think he's going?
I'm gonna say.... Off a cliff.
QTQuentin Trembly
Esteemed gentlemen of the United States Supreme Court, I urge you to reconsider your decision.
[Several babies in top hats and fake mustaches coo in response.]
QTQuentin Trembly
Very well. But who would you have replace me?
BBaby
Mama.
QTQuentin Trembly
That old crone?
He is such a jerk.
Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar. I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs.
Don't worry, brother. Whatever happens, I'll be right here, supporting you every step of the- OH MY GOSH, A PIG!
Wendy, I just wanted to tell you that everyone makes mistakes. And when they do, you should forgive them. And also that tight pants are overrated.
Dude. You lost me.
[sighs] I know.
[Blendin Blandin is blamed for Dipper and Mabel's interference with time]
DDundgren
You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct.
It was those kids! And their leader, Waddles!
LLolph
That's a pig, Blendin.
[to Dipper and Mabel, as he is dragged away] I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never meet!
[After a moment's pause]
Well, we're still here.
Guess he forgot to go back.
Ugh, poor Dipper. Hiding from Robbie, unable to face his fears.
Fears are for chumps. That's why I don't have any. [tries to reach an item on a shelf]
You want me to go get a ladder?
We don't have one.
What?
Stan You know, studies show that keeping a ladder inside the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own ten guns, in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.
Grunkle Stan, why you actin' so cray-cray?
YOU'RE the one who's "actin' cray-cray".
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.