(The scene opens on Gumball and Darwin outside of the nurse's office as Gumball knocks on the door.)
Are you sure this is going to work? Because I really don't want to go to gym class.
(Gumball's leg kicks him in the face.)
My legs are trying to kick my brain for just thinking about it! But don't you worry. Today's the day the plan works!
But it's already gone wrong so many times. Maybe we should just accept our fate and go to gym class.
(Gumball's leg kicks Darwin in the shin.)
Don't say that out loud! You're making them angry! Just let me handle this.
(Joan answers the door.)
JMJoan Markham
(sighs) Watterson.... No, I haven't lost weight. No, I haven't done something new with my hair. No, you don't have the bubonic plague. No, you can't have a second opinion on that. Therefore, no, you cannot get a note to skip gym class.
(Gumball's leg kicks his face again.)
JMJoan Markham
What was that?
(muffled, via subtitles) You apologized.
JJamie
Yeah, whatever, you better shut up if you don't want Mr. and Mrs. Pain to invite you to dinner! They only serve filet-o-fist!
[Twists his jaw back] It's fine. You can let that anger go, Jamie. You touched our hearts yesterday.
JJamie
Oh, I'll touch your heart--with my fist!
That's...quite a vivid image, but we understand. You don't have to be a bully anymore. Coach saw what we were all too blind to see, that you're really a sweet, kind, orange...thing with, uh, a hat...or a wig or some kind of a helmet...and horns that we're proud to call our friend.
JJamie
[throws Gumball in Darwin’s mouth] I am not anyone's friend! The only friends I need are Grandma and Grandpa Fist, and they don't give candy. I'm gonna show you. I'm gonna do something so bad, it'll go down in SCHOOL HISTORY!
We really need to work on Jamie's hugging technique.
You don't really think Jamie will do anything bad, do you?
Well, just because she fed Anton to the ducks... [Flashback of said moment briefly plays] Or that she chewed Teri's own body to spit it back in her face... [Flashback of said moment briefly plays] Or that she ate a little bit of Sarah and Banana Joe... [Flashback of said moment briefly plays]
(scared) Dude, stop! I can't take any more horrible flashbacks!
But people change. Just because she did all that doesn't mean [sees Jamie] that she's capable of climbing into the back of a teacher's car to[Becomes very startled and fearful] DO SOMETHING SO BAD THAT IT'LL GO DOWN IN SCHOOL HISTORY!
At least he passed away peacefully.
Yeah, like a peaceful, evil raisin.
[The kids and Richard are giving the turtle a funeral]
[Sniffles] Before we say goodbye to our beloved family pet, Evil Turtle, I think we should all say a few words to let him know how much he meant to us.
GAGumball, Anais and Richard
Hmmm.
I'll always think fondly of the way he put fear into my heart.
GAGumball, Anais and Richard
Hmmm.
Every time I stare down at the scar tissue on my hand, I'll think of him.
GDGumball and Darwin
Hmmm.
Only once in your lifetime, does something touch your heart in the way that... awesome store did! [Sobs in his hands]
Gumball, do you have anything you like to add?
Yeah, er.... I'll miss his.... you know the funny way he... the thing he... I got nothing.
[Drops the dead turtle into the trash bag] All of this because we couldn't take care of him.
[Darwin cries over the turtle and a single drop falls on the turtle who immediately recovers and hisses at them, scaring Gumball]
He was revived by my tear!
[The turtle climbs out and crosses the road away from the Wattersons, hissing and snarling furiously]
Somebody save him, he could get hurt!
[The Turtle moves into the path of a speeding car in which the car crashes into pieces and the turtle was unharmed and unfazed by the impact]
Forget saving the turtle, we need a plan to save the neighborhood.
(comes out of a bush) Because you're the one he loves biting the most!
Alright, but why am I not allowed to wear clothes?
Because he could choke on them.
(Darwin pops in and then out of his hiding spot and decorates Gumball's head with leaves.)
Presentation. It's important.
Shh! Just remember to let it get as close as possible to give me a chance to catch it!
Just make sure you don't hurt him, okay? He's only a small little guy and there's three of...
(Darwin suddenly falls as he is heard gasping.)
(Gumball nervously checks his environment as looks around. He then hears splashing water.)
Dude, is that you?... Hello? Is anyone there?
(A pair of malicious eyes poke out of the swamp. Gumball gapes before the turtle rushes out to him while hissing, scaring Gumball and forcing him to free himself!)
(The evil turtle closes in, but Gumball manages to free himself, though losing his fur from the tape, and runs away, with the turtle in pursuit.)
Wait, what about the bowl?!
Well, I guess there's no getting rid of it. We'll have to keep it for as long as it lives.
EVERYBODY, LISTEN, I think we all learned a very important lesson today and this lesson is...don't complain, be happy with what you got! no, that's.... uh, quite right?! uh, be careful of what you say! nah, no, that's not it either uh, don't jump to conclusions, no, no, don't try to be something you're... not... 'cause uh,... be yourselves?! I don't know, man... maybe the lesson is sometimes, some people do stuffy, things happen and it kind of goes nowhere, anyway, thanks for the check bye!
MOM! WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE NOW!!!!
Yes, but about that, apparently the engine is... (glares at Richard) caramelized.
(gasps, then whispers) Caramelized.... (He looks at Nicole) Aw.... Mmm!
(groans) He can't fix it. We're stuck here. But, the good news is he says he'll have us for dinner!
(Gumball and Darwin scream again from inside the car.)
Can you guys stop screaming every five minutes?!
(The window rolls down, revealing the boys screaming silently.)
Actually, we're doing a silent scream. We need to save our voices for WHEN HE EATS US!!!
You two are ridiculous. Scaring yourselves with narrow-minded assumptions about country people.
(The old man suddenly picks up Anais.)
OMOld Man
Big brain for such a small thing. (chuckles) I like that.
(Frightened, Anais dashes into the car.)
WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!!!
Alright, that's it! I only get five days off a year! (at Richard) We already wasted Christmas when you decorated the house with whipped cream instead of fake snow!
(Flashback to Nicole entering the house at Christmastime)
(Nicole slips on the whipped cream and is knocked unconscious. Richard and Anais are seen gorging on the cream.)
Uh, how much cream did you eat?
Then, there was the Fourth of July...
(In another flashback, the family is gathered in the backyard as Richard lights a firework.)
(The lit firework launches, but it circles back down and crashes into the yard.)
Then your mother's visit...
(In another flashback, Nicole is driving on the freeway with Granny Jojo alongside her. However, as the latter speaks, she gets increasingly annoyed.)
After you drop me off at the mall, go to the grocery store and buy me a melon - not too hard, not too soft. Then, pick me up at 2:30. I have an appointment at a beauty parlor, and from the looks of it, you could do with a makeover yourself, then you need to--
And let's not forget Halloween!
(In one last flashback, Richard, in a wolf mask, surprises Nicole on Halloween. However, Nicole reacts by kicking him down the stairs!)
There's some liquid in my lungs!
(Back to the original scene...)
So I'm not going to ruin this by listening to your crazy assumptions! You said we were going camping, so WE ARE GOING CAMPING!!!!!!!!
(At the Watterson house, Gumball and Darwin help Rocky apply for an office job.)
(typing on computer) "Office jobs..."
(The computer shows the same results.)
All the options say, "Work at Chanax".
CHANAX?! They're the worst corporation on Earth! They pollute, they cut down the rainforest, their boss invented boy bands! THEY'RE PURE EVIL!!
They also invented cheese puffs.
Huh. Necessary evil, I guess.
