I mean, why not drive with your eyes closed, and your hands in the air too?!
Ah, great idea! [Drives with eyes closed and hands in air]
[Gumball then screams]
[He drives on the wrong lane, and barely hits other cars and people going the opposite direction]
[Panicked] No! NO! He was trying to use reverse psychology!
Did someone say reverse?!
[The sheriff reverses the car, and drives backwards. The car flies off a speed bump, and a speed camera takes a snapshot of the car's bottom. They continue driving, no longer reversed. Gumball takes his paws with claws stuck on the dashboard off it]
Please, I'm begging you. Someone's going to get hurt unless you stop breaking the law!
Don't worry kid, nothing can happen. I AM THE LAW! [Laughs hysterically]
[He speeds up the car. Then spotting a baby carriage and the Crocodile Woman in the middle of the road, he steps on the brakes and screeches to a halt. The car stops in time, but bumps the carriage. This sends a piece of trash flying from the baby stroller]
Oh, thank gosh it's the old stroller-full-of-trash trick.
[The piece of trash hits a live baby in another stroller from a distance, making it cry]
Your mom's aren't the superest, mine is! It's written right here.
Dude. Just because you wrote something, doesn't mean it's true.
What do you mean, "What is it?" It's a banana!
[He shows his card. On it is "Superest mom" with a sad clown's face. No one says anything, and he puts his arm down]
Look, I don't want to break anyone's heart here, but at the max, your mom could be the superest in your neighborhood.
But sometimes Mrs. Mom drives down their street.
Oh, yeah, right. Superest mom in your house then, tops.
(The episode opens in the kids' room, where the three sleep peacefully. However, once the alarm goes off, that peace fades as they wake up with devilish faces, ready to battle for control of the computer.)
(The kids each impede each other on reaching the computer. As Gumball jumps into the chair, Darwin throws a cup full of pencils over the seat, forcing Gumball to land on the pencils' sharp edges, shedding a tear in pain.)
Good move, but I can take it.
(Gumball turns the computer on, but the three discover it now needing a...)
(The bedroom door is pushed closed by the surprise culprit - their father!)
Were you standing behind that door all night for dramatic effect?
Then why does it look like your bladder's about to explode?
(Richard is then seen holding in his pee severely.)
You kids spend too much time on that thing. You should be playing outside.
Why do I have the feeling you sound like Mom right now?
Uh... (Nicole's arm appears holding a note.) "Your mother has nothing to do with this. I take full responsibility for being the bad cop this time. Read this or you sleep on the couch tonight."
"Procrastinator". Derived from the Mexican word, Procratalamación, which means "midnight snack", and the Viking word, astenator, which means "puckered cheeks". It describes a person sitting on a sandwich in the dark.
[Darwin sends a confused face at Gumball]
Of course I don't know, dude. You know how I use a dictionary...
[A flashback shows a sleeping Richard and Gumball emerging behind the couch with a dictionary. He slams it shut, creating a loud boom that scares Richard, causing his heart to literally burst out of his chest. Gumball disgustedly escapes the scene.]
A procrastinator is someone who always avoids their responsibilities by doing something else instead.
(laughs) That's ridiculous.
Gumball, you're such a procrastinator that you were four years old when you finished your first sentence. Even then, it was "I'll do it tomorrow."
What the what? Y-you look… you look—
Penny: What? Do I look bad? [She shape-shifts into a gremlin]
Penny: [Raspy voice] I look disgusting, don't I?!
No, Penny, I think you look—
Penny: Don't look at me! [Deep voice] I'M A MONSTER!
[Penny shape-shifts into an amorphous fist, breaks through the wall of Gumball's room, and flies away, now in the form of a gargoyle]
No, Penny, wait! You look… extraordinary.
NO! It's a tragic misunderstanding that could have been really easily avoided if he just finished his sentence in time!
[Nicole slowly opens the door and the rest of the Wattersons rush into Gumball's room]
[Gumball climbs down the ladder, going after Penny]
PPatrick
What the…? You came out of your shell.
[Laughs nervously] I know, she looks fantastic, right?
PPatrick
What have you done? You've turned her into a freak.
A freak…ishly beautiful young lady. [Laughs nervously]
PPatrick
She looks like a pig-
-ture of beauty. Ha ha, absolutely!
PPatrick
You turned my daughter into a monster!
-truck! Of... prettiness?
[Penny shrieks as she transforms into a dragon]
Penny: [Deep voice] Gumball, please tell my father that the monster's gone to live in the forest, with all the other beasts! [Flies away]
[Gumball turns to Patrick, with an angry expression on his face]
[Mockingly imitates Patrick] Ohh, I wonder why my daughter is upset after I called her a freaky pig monster!
[Gumball hops on the hood of Patrick's car]
NOW, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO SHUT UP! Think about what you've done! Do you realize you were wrong?! [Patrick nods] Good! But don't beat yourself up about it, parenting is hard! Now pop the hood!
[Patrick pops the hood of his car, launching Gumball up into the sky, and onto Penny]
I'm not letting you leave!
Penny: Gumball, no! You'll get hurt!
[A plane approaches them. They barely dodge it]
Penny! Go up go up GO UP!
What's your best dance move?
[Darwin does his best dance move, sliding from side to side in his seat]
Cossack dance, but there's a problem with it.
[Gumball gets off of his seat, and dances. He repeatedly kicks himself in the face as he does so]
[They both laugh. Gumball goes back to his seat]
[In the library, Gumball once again tries to propose to Penny. He emerges from behind a bookcase and walks up to her]
Penny, there's something I need to ask you.
Actually, there's something I wanted to say as well.
I know. I totally feel what you feel. Let's say it at the same time. One. Two-
We need some space. [Gumball gasps and makes a shocked face] It's just… until you guys work it out, I kinda feel bad ruining your relationship. You two have something special, you know.
[Gumball, still shocked, screams as he runs off - without moving his legs. He screams and glides his way through the hallway, onto the bus, and back through his house until he arrives in his bedroom and finds Darwin waiting there. He is poorly dressed up like Penny]
Whatever it takes for you to still love me. Is it working?
If by working, you mean making me nauseous then- [Gags, then cries] But it doesn't matter anyway. Penny's left me! She didn't want to come between us, and it's all your fault! [Faceplants and sobs]
Uh…I didn't mean to come between you two. I-I-I just wanted to spend more time with you. I'm so sorry. Come here- [Darwin tries to reach out to Gumball, but Gumball avoids him]
Wait, this is creepy. [Sobbing loudly] But I really need a hug! [Darwin holds Gumball, and comforts him]
Is it weird that I love her so much it makes my ears sweat?
Is it weird that I think about her all the time, even in the bathroom?
Is it weird that I bought a ring and I want to ask her to marry me?
Well, yeah. That's-that's completely weird.
Well, it doesn't matter now. It's all ruined!
No, it's not. What if I could give you the perfect setting, the perfect moment?
What do you mean? [Darwin begins dancing and imitating R&B music]
Stop it. That…that's weird.
[Snickers] All right. [Joins in dancing with him] How are you gonna get a log cabin though? Or a lake? Or a chocolate fountain? And how are you gonna get her to come over?
Come on. Mm mm. [He starts dancing towards the door] Uh huh. Come on.
(sighs) Come on, just say it.
Well, I lost all my money, all my friends, and my girlfriend, so you were right to take that curse seriously. Come on, just say "I told you so."
I don't know what you take me for, but I get no pleasure out of this. (reaching the house) Let's just hope our family is still there.
[Gumball slowly opens the door]
(nervously) Hello? Mom? Dad?
(closes door) Told you so.
(slapping Darwin) STOP, YOU'RE BEING HYSTERICAL!!!
[Darwin slaps him back. Gumball also slaps back. They both keep slapping each other quickly before stopping]
Okay, let's stop. This isn't very constructive.
Exactly! We're doing this my way now. We're getting help--magical help.
Why don't we just use the book to defend ourselves?
(The Snatcher emerges, and Gumball hits him with the Forbidden Book to distract him.)
No, I mean use the spells inside!
Don't! The price to pay is too high!
Oh, we don't have a choice! (opens the book) There, a time-traveling spell. Let's just go through the night! Tempus future!
(The spell speeds up the time flow to dawn.)
Haha! In your (suddenly turns old) faaaaace....
(Gumball walks to the microwave to see his elderly state.)
Agh! What happened?? (Carrie pulls him away before the Snatcher could catch him.)
The price for that spell was your youth.
Don't worry! There must be a spell to fix that. Here we are! Beauteus aeterna!
(Gumball magically gets a facelift to fix his elderly face)
(The Snatcher appears again)
(Darwin gasps, but he suddenly shatters apart!)
The price for eternal beauty is his life!
What?! (opens the book and finds a revival spell) Resurrectum mortis!
(Darwin is subsequently revived, but with Frankenstein-esque characteristics. The Snatcher attempts to grab him, but flees from the sun.)
Alright, enough chitchat. Help me up! I don't wanna break a leg before my hot date.
[The kids try to lift her out, but she is surprisingly heavy]
What the weight?! How can someone so small be so heavy?
Well, I have two metal hips, one orthopedic shoe, six gold teeth, a plate in my head and an industrial-strength pacemaker. I've got so much metal in me, I'm legally classified as a motor vehicle. Anyway, where's the rope?
[The kids look back to see the rope gone.]
(to Anais) Didn't I tell you to tie the end to something?
(to Darwin) Didn't I tell you to tie the end to something??
(to no one) Didn't I tell you to--
Oh, wait. Sorry. My bad. I didn't tell anyone to tie it.
(sighs) We need another plan.
SMr. Small
(through intercom) This is our territory, and YOU are now our prey...
What?! are you planning to eat us?!
SMr. Small
Yes. I ran out of tofu and soy milk. Say, you guys aren't on any antibiotics, are you? If I have to eat meat, I want it to be organic.
SMr. Small
I'm sorry, but it's survival of the fittest.
Good! Then you won't mind me doing this.
GDGumball, Darwin, Anais, Nicole and Richard
YEAAAAAAAAAH!
Why don't we all tell each other about our day, and why we got upset in the first place? I'll go first. I was on my way to work [Flashback to Nicole's car being checked by Larry on the side of the road.] when the car broke down.
Well, the damage is only superficial. [Closed car hood] So it shouldn't cost more than a hundred dollars.
A hundred dollar? [Breaks headlight] Excuse me!?
Better make that two-hundred.
WHAT!? [The sound of her voice breaks the windows.]
Nicole: WHAT?!! [Her car falls apart, destroyed because of her loud voice.]
Before I do what I'm about to do, I want you to know this is not your fault. You're just doing your job, but someone has to suffer for what happened and unfortunately, you're the only one around.
[Inhales deeply, suddenly her head grows big and she starts screaming at Larry In the demonic threatening voice.]
Nicole: You are a worm!! You're a thieving, bottom-feeding, money-grabbing crook!! People like you are squeezing the very last cents out of hard-working families!! YOU'RE THE REASON ICE CAPS ARE MELTING AND BABY POLAR BEARS ARE HOMELESS!! [Returns to her normal self, sighing in relief] I think that's all there was. Here. [Hands Larry a money]
Uh... Would you like to add a tip?
Sure, a little extra twelve percent. [Inhales deeply, However, Again, Her head grows big and she resumes her demonic Screaming at Larry.] You're a worthless maggot!! A POINTLESS LITTLE-
Anyway, I feel much better now. [Notices her family pushing away her large head with a table] Oh, sorry. A little too much in the moment there. [Her head shrinks back to normal]
Why are you guys here? And why are you dressed like that?
Because, it's the apocalypse, and because… well, it-it's the apocalypse!
Society collapsed as soon as you resigned!
But that was only twenty minutes ago.
(An explosion occurs from far away.)
Yeah, and that's all the time it took for us to realize our mistake. We need to be reminded of how precious you are, so this is for you, Gary. (gives some money)
A $100 bill... Thank you.
Yeah, don't get too excited. Without you, there's no business, since nothing was being bought, which has ruined the economy and forced up inflation. This $100 bill could possibly get you as much as a rat burger and a kick in the teeth.
But, still, it came from the heart...but in that case, this pizza now costs $9,000.
Is it alright if I write you a roadkill check?
Yes! We now also accept payment in uranium, antibiotics and melee weapons.
Good morning, Elmore Help Desk!
How can I assist you?
I've just been abandoned by my brand new fiancé.
I'm gonna need his details
