Oh, hey, Candace.
Did you get it? Did you get the proof that Nosey really exists?
I can honestly tell you that the ferocious man-eating lake monster does not exists in Lake Nose.
EEveryone
Aww!
GGuy
Aw, man!
Wait.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Hey, Candace!
What is going on here?
We made an animal translator. We'll tell you about it later. Right now, we're on a mission. Come on, guys.
See ya, Candace!
An animal translator?! I have had it up to here with stupid animals today! Why would you wanna know what stupid animals are saying? Oh, I can tell you what they'll say: "I'm an animal and I bite my own heinie!" "I've got a small cranial capacity!" "Look at me! I don't have opposable thumbs! I eat with my face!" "I sweat through my tongue!" "I'm a furry-flea bitten loser!" LIKE ANY OTHER ANIMAL ON THIS PLANET! [echoes, cuts to a rabid dog barking]
MTMan through speaker
Get her. [Candace runs off screaming in horror]
Look, Linda, I can see this, let's see... 24 cross, 5 letters, where's blank?
[The lair shows Perry lands on a chair. The entrance Perry entered is not shown]
[The Doofenshmirtz jingle plays; scene flips to Doofenshmirtz, rubbing his forehead]
EJEvil Jingle Singers
[singing] Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
Ugh, that stupid carnival is so loud I can't hear my own evil jingle! [turns to a quartet in a sound recording booth] Alright boys, take it from the top. Louder.
EJEvil Jingle Singer #1
A one, two…
EJEvil Jingle Singers
[singing] Doofenshmirtz Evil Inco—
Oh, what now? [the quartet gets cut short by a loud crash from the ceiling into a pile of instruments; Perry staggers in, playing a banjo.] A banjo-playing platypus? [Perry puts on his hat] Perry the banjo-playing platypus?! Uh, take five, guys. Not you, Perry the Platypus.
Can't you just make up some kind of reducing cream or an amazing shrink ray device?
Well, we'll see what we can do, but we're not magicians.
I'm a freak. [starts to cry] I'll never be a Flawless Girl! [a single, giant tear drops from her face and falls to the ground as Ferb grabs an umbrella and puts it over him and Phineas to cover themselves] There's only one place where a girl like me will fit in: the oddball show! It was nice knowing you boys! Tell Mom and Dad I love them—from now on, I'll be living amongst the carnies! [tearfully runs off as Phineas and Ferb watch]
[to Perry] You see, back before I was evil, I was something a little less than evil: I was a bratwurst street vendor!
[Cuts to a short flashback of Doofenshmirtz's brautwurst stand, accompanied by an out of tune "Doofenshmirtz's Quality Bratwurst" jingle]
What? They had those!
All right, who added the 'evil' flavour?
[Everyone turns to stare at Baljeet]
It's curry. It's not inherently evil. [pauses out] Maybe a little spicy...
As I get older and older, I find it harder and harder to read my small little wristwatch. So I will launch Big Ben into space, and fly it all the way to the Tri-State area! ["flies" Big Ben over to his model of the Tri-State area] La, lala, lala, here I am, I just woke up and I want to know what time it is. [flings the model of himself across the room.] Woohoo! Yes! I'm a genius!
DOAgent Double O-O
Wha - That's it?! That's your whole plan?!
Well, in a nutshell, yes! What do you think?
DOAgent Double O-O
[glances at Perry, pauses] Am I on one of those hidden-camera shows? You realize you could just buy a bigger watch? Or maybe a wall clock?
Yes, but then I'd have to drive to the store and find a parking space, and I'd have to choose from like - dozens of styles ... It just seemed like so much work. This would be much less complicated.
Candace, looks to me like you're going about this the wrong way. Don't focus on the boys, focus on the invention. If you can find out where the stuff goes, maybe you can take your mom there, and she'll finally see the evidence.
What's that noise? Is that your stomach?
[Ferb nods]
Yeah, I'm hungry too. That trendy restaurant Mom and Dad took us to last night wasn't exactly satisfying.
[flashback to last night]
Dad, can I borrow your glasses? I can't see my entrée. You know, because it's so small?
[holding his glasses] Yes, I think we got that.
[Phone rings] S'up, Stace?
Candace, are you sitting down? I don't want you to have an aneurysm.
Why would I have an aneurysm?
Someone just IM'd me that someone else heard someone else overhear that Jeremy is gonna call you and ask you out for a special evening tonight! [Both squeal] Candace, do you need medical attention?
Oh, I need attention from the doctor of love!
Paging Dr. Jeremy.
Doctor. I got a fever.
[Deep voice] Well, let me take care of that, little lady.
[Both laugh]
Wow. A special evening. [Phone beeps] It's my call waiting.
[Both scream]
Honey, just calling to remind you- [Phone beeps]
Uh, it wasn't him.
Don't worry, he'll call.
You're not on the list. You should have made a reservation yesterday.
This restaurant didn't exist yesterday. I demand to be let in right now.
Good evening, sir.
Oh, I forgot to make a reservation. [Slips Buford some money]
No problem, dude.
Did that guy just bribe you?
He didn't bribe me. He just caught my attention in a monetary fashion. Now, back in line.
That's not just any bird. That's a rare whale song singing Double Breasted Angle Hooper. [the bird begins pecking at Candace, wearing a platypus suit] The natural enemy of the platypus in the wild.
Hey, you!
Isabella, NO!
LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE!
Cálmate Isabella. [Spanish for "Calm down, Isabella."]
[Giant roars and gets his fists out ready to punch Isabella]
NO!
Smile.
[She zaps the giant with the digitizer, then is depixelated]
Wow, Isabella, that was great!
You know what they say: The bigger they are, the harder they de-pixelate!
Meap, he's the most adorable thing in the world.
Really? Are you sure there's nothing, or no one that's more adorable?
No, not a chance. [Isabella looks crushed]
Isabella, want to come and help me find Meap?
[Sarcastically] Sure, I still have to get my "You wouldn't know cute if it bit your legs off" accomplishment patch.
Cool! Let's go. [Isabella growls]
[Phineas watchs his cute tracker with a serious expression]
[confused] I keep getting some kind of cute interference.
It's me! I'm endangering the mission, I shouldn't have come!
No, now it's cleared up.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.