Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Oh, la familia Loud. I thought you went home. What happened to you?
[in Italian] Abbiamo scalato il vulcano e raggiuta la cima, poi il vulcano fato. BOOM!
You climbed the volcano and reached the top before it went BOOM?!
Oh, it boomed, lady. It BOOMED!
And you still tried to get my stone?
We had it too, but then it broke. Freak chest bump accident. It was nobody'z fault.
[The map of Europe shows the Louds' rental bus leaving Naples, Italy and arrives in a small snowy village in the Swiss Alps of Switzerland; The family ends up getting motion sickness and throw up from driving in the twisty mountain roads]
[dizzy] Who knew those Swiss Alps roads could be so twisty? [almost pukes]
I told you guys before, if you want an iron belly, you need to up that annual meatball sub at take. [the other siblings groan in disgust] Wow, I can't believe I'm actually here and gonna compete in the Snow Fury! I'm gonna kick butt in every one of those events.
[waving her hand in Lynn's face] Lynn? Hello? Are you okay?
What's going on with her?
Dazed look.
[sighs dreamily while gazing] Henrik.
Smitten sigh. [gasps] Excitedly whispering a boy's name.
O-M-Gosh! I think Lynn has…
[squealing in excitement] A CRUSH!!!
[imitates buzzer] Lynn Loud crushes people! She doesn't crush on them! [looks at Henrik again, flexing a muscle while holding up a clock; sighs dreamily and giggles] Okay, maybe just a little one. [snaps out of it] But what do I do about it? I'm such a rookie when it comes to this kind of junk.
You are amazing! I've never seen anyone eat an entire apple strudel in one bite! How do you do it?
It's all about loosening your jaw. I could show you, like, you know, if you want to hang again tomorrow.
[Lynn and Henrik are sitting on a log drinking hot cocoa with marshmallows]
I'm sorry ze Snow Fury took up ze whole day. I wanted us to hang out more before you leave tomorrow.
Me too. It's been awesome getting to know you…and junk. Here's to our last date.
[Lynn and Henrik make snow angels while they laugh, they both touch hands. At the top, Lori and Leni spy on them with binoculars. They smile at each other while feeling proud of Lynn and themselves]
Best crush coaches ever!!! [The two sisters shake hands and squeal excitedly for their success. A huge pile of snow falls on them; they giggle]
[The Louds' rental bus enters the spooky shadows of the woods in Transylvania, Romania and everyone looks out the window in fear, except for Lucy, whose enjoying it]
Can we please pull over? Look at all this great stuff we're missing.
Sweetie, we agreed to pass through Transylvania so you can see all your horrible, ghoulish sights, but there is no way we're getting off this bus. We don't want to traumatize Lily. [holds up Lily, wearing sunglasses and headphones, listening to some music, keeping her from being frightened of the spooky sights]
Plus, we can't risk being on the road after dark. Everyone knows there are vampires in this neck of the woods. [laughs; playfully elbows Lucy] Get it? Neck? [terrified] But seriously though, I'm scared.
[shudders; to the viewers] That makes twelve of us. The Louds are still double-decking across Europe, and it was Lucy's turn to choose our next destination: Transylvania. [the map of Europe shows their bus leaving the Swiss Alps, then crosses through Austria, Hungary and Serbia, until reaching Romania]
Everybody, relax. Sadly, there's nothing to fear. There haven't been any real vampires in Transylvania for centuries.
[inspecting the damage of the bus] Well, the tire's shredded. Yep, along with everything else. Without my tools, we'll definitely need a tow.
[groans] Good luck calling one. There's literally no service out here!
I love the decor of your castle. It's very mid-century goth.
How lovely of you to notice. Please, come in.
[as the Louds enter the castle] Oh, forgive us, we have not introduced ourselves. I am Nos F Ratu, and this is my wife, Ula.
Nos F Ratu. Why does that name sound familiar? [trips on a coffin and screams]
[holding a candelabra] Apologies for the darkness. Our power goes out when it's vining. [a swarm of bats swoop down and startles the family] We also have a little bat problem.
Little? [chuckles] You know, on second thought…
[closes the front door and barricades it] No one leaves this house… [the family gasps in horror] without getting a goodnight sleep.
Okay, here's the plan. The Ratu's are clearly vampires!
Irrefutably.
Literally.
100 percent.
So, no-one leaves this room for any reason! We'll escape in the morning while they're asleep in their coffins.
Can everyone stop saying dinner? I'm really hungry.
Hi, really hungry. My name's Luan. [laughs] But seriously, I'm starving.
[to the viewers, with the map of Europe behind him] The Louds' European road trip continues. Next stop, Athens, Greece!
[The map shows their rental double-decker bus driving from Transylvania, Romania all the way to Athens, Greece; Once they arrive, the family takes a tour of the Parthenon while a Lincoln trails behind them, looking bored]
Today, all that's left of the Parthenon are these beautiful ruins, but this place was once an open air market… [catches Lynn lifting up a pillar; annoyed] Ponytail, this is not your gym. [Lynn tosses the pillar aside and it shatters off-screen] As I was saying, this place was once an open air market, kind of Ancient Greece's version of a mall.
[gasps excitedly] I wonder if I can use my Reininger's discount here!
During their many travels at sea, Greek heroes often encountered incredible creatures; like the singing Sirens, the Minotaur, and the One-Eyed Cyclops.
[The camera pans over each vase, showcasing each of the creatures he is describing]
Ooh, I love Greek Mythology! Hold your phone up! I don't want to miss all the juicy details!
[picks his phone back up] Those were just myths, they weren't even real, like David Steele.
[After Lincoln puts on the Ancient Spartan helmet, he is accidentally transported back in time to the year of 450 B.C.]
This helmet didn't just blast me onto another island, it transported me back in time! I should have never tried it on!
You're a time traveler? Yes, I hope it was possible! I'm writing a short story on this pottery. [holds up a pottery with a picture of Lincoln traveling through a time-portal] It's about a time-traveling kid, but I don't have it figured out yet.
Wow, very cool, Clyde...ius. You know, I can use your expertise. The helmet may have brought me here. [puts the helmet back on] But, it doesn't seem to want to take me back, and I need to return to my family. Any ideas?
Hmm, perhaps you have angered the gods by taking something that doesn't belong to you. I bet you'll be able to return to your time if you put it back where you found it."
That would be the Parthenon. Any chance you could sail me there?
Heck, yeah! If I can see time travel in action, I may finish my story! Come on!
[bumps into Lincoln after he's transported back to the future] Hey, what took you, Stinkoln?
[happily hugs her] Lynn!
[groans and breaks out of the hug] Gross! What're you doing?
I'm just so happy to see you! [to the rest of the family] To see all of you!
Aw, that's sweet, honey, but you shouldn't have run off. We have been looking all over for you.
[Unaware as the other sisters are] Oh. Were we supposed to be looking for Lincoln? I found a huge sale on vintage sandals!
[exasperated] That wasn't a sale rack! It was a showcase of ancient Greek footwear! What is with this family?!
Listen, sweetie, you have been a real trooper with all these historic tours, so your Dad and I decided we're gonna spend the afternoon doing whatever fun thing you want.
Actually, I'm starting to think history is fun. I'd love to hear more about Greek Mythology.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
