[Lincoln and Clyde walk by the store and are taken by surprise when they hear Flip wailing and bawling over sending Nacho away forever and hurry inside]
[grabs Clyde by the shirt collar] I SENT MY BEST FRIEND AWAY FOR MONEY, AND NOW I MISS HIM! [shakes him roughly and lets him go as he continues sobbing]
[catching his dizzy friend] Why don't you call Nacho and tell him that? I bet he misses you, too.
[shakes out his dizziness] Yeah, Dr. Lopez always says that expressing your feelings is the expressway to healing.
[The Loud family is in London, England, and Rita is seemingly driving their rental double-decker bus on wrong side of the road]
Honey, you're on the wrong side of the road! [Steers the bus on the left side. The Loud siblings scream from the back]
I always forget they drive on the left side in England. Everyone okay back there?
[The Loud siblings are pressed against the window]
[Rita presses her foot on the breaks as the traffic light turns red and the bus screeches to a stop]
[to a British man who's preparing to board their bus] Sorry. This is our rental bus. We have a wheely big family. [laughs]
[pops up in front of the viewers] Welcome to London! So what are the Louds doing across the pond? Good question. Luna got an invite to attend Mick Swagger's knighting ceremony at the Royal Castle. And because she's such a huge fan, Mick flew out our whole family! That's right, we traveled all the way from Royal Woods, Michigan, to London, England.
[A map shows the Louds' plane flying from Royal Woods, Michigan, USA, over the Atlantic Ocean, and lands in the England state of the European country]
[reading Mick Swagger's autobiography when Lynn kicks her soccer ball, knocking it out of her hands] Chill out, Lynn! I'm trying to reread Mick's autobiography, even after the 10th time, I'm learning new dets about his life.
LLynn
And I'm trying to get into the English spirit. Brits love soccer.
They call it "football" here, Lynn. And the King's favorite team is the Chuffbottom Chips.
[to the viewers] Lori spent the whole flight binging a reality series on British royals called Drama Kings, so she thinks she's an expert now.
[in British accent] Oh, oh, there's the local chippy where me and me mates used to nosh on sonnies. [laughs]
[chuckles] Dad is trying to relieve the college semester he spent in England. And me? I'm just excited to be in the city where they shot my favorite David Steele movie; To London with Love. Whoa! I think David jumped from that rooftop!
[Their bus comes to a stop in front of the Royal Castle and the siblings are slammed against the window]
[gasps] Look! We made it to the Royal Castle!
[The Louds follow Mick Swagger in the castle, except Lori who sees someone]
[gasps] No way! You're the Duke of Buckleberry! I literally loved you in season three of Drama Kings! Do you and the Duchess ever get back together? Wait, don't tell me! No spoilers! Can I get a selfie?
[gasps when he hears Luna scream off-screen] I know that ding-dang scream anywhere! That's my Luna! [he, the family, and X head down to the Royal hall] Luna!
[frantically] It's Mick! He's…he's…he's been taken!
[Pan over to a table with the tea spilled and Mick's guitar and everyone gasps in horror]
But what does Mick Swagger have to do with the King's shredder and jams?
XX
[gasps in realization] He is the King's shredder, he is the King's jams! The code words for a musician. The target all along was Mick!
[The Louds gasp in shock and look at Lincoln]
[shocked with horror, realizing he screwed up] Oh, my gosh! I totally beefed it!
[End of Act 1; Beginning Act 2… The Louds are walking out of the Royal Castle to their bus in utter disappointment while Luna tries to console her brother]
[disappointed with himself] Awww, it's all my fault Mick's gone.
No, it's not, bro. You meant well.
If I hadn't given X the wrong targets, she would've moved her agents so Mick would still be here.
Yeah, you're totally right. I was just trying to make you feel better.
ENEarl of Nuttingham
FOOLED YA! [pulls a lever and drops a cage on the Louds, trapping them] The real Mick's actually over here. [presses a button on his remote, and another cage lifts up, revealing the real Mick]
[with his hands both cuffed and holding his electric guitar] Hello, Louds. Brilliant, you figured out all me clues! [unimpressed] Less brilliant, you've been captured.
ENEarl of Nuttingham
Enough chit-chat, start playing! [presses the button once more, this time, releasing Mick from the cage]
Wait, you did all this just so Mick could play a concert for you?
ENEarl of Nuttingham
Not just any concert, a never-ending concert!
But you've been to all of Mick's shows. Why can't you just keep doing that?
ENEarl of Nuttingham
Oh, I have been to all of his shows. In fact, I was Mick's most loyal fan… for decades. [narrating in a flashback] And after my 100th Swagger concert, I worked up the courage to ask Mick to play at my private birthday party. And what did he do? He played another gig!
[End of flashback]
Oi. It was a sold out show in Rio, mate, for half a million fans.
ENEarl of Nuttingham
Well, you betrayed your biggest fan! Now, start my concert! [presses the button on the remote, releasing two alligators as they snarl at Mick, forcing him to start playing a song; to the Loud family] Sorry, Louds, but you're not invited to the show. Ta-ta!
[As X's agents put the Earl of Nuttingham into a police car after being defeated by the Louds and Mick as he's arrested for his crimes…]
XX
[impressed by the Loud family's work] I'm sorry. I underestimated you, Agent Loud.
XX
You saved Mick and your family, all because you followed your instincts. That's exactly what we look for in our agents. If you're interested, we've got a spot for you at the Inter-Spy Training Academy.
Really?! Thank you! Mom, Dad, can you ship my stuff?
Oh, right. That makes sense. Huh? [X and her agents mysteriously disappear once more, leaving a gust of wind] Can't wait to learn how to do that!
[As everyone dances to the Swagger Stagger song, Lynn Sr. dances a bit too far, and accidentally bumps his hip into the King, sending him to fall out the window and into a puddle while he and the family look outside]
[horrified] Dad, that was the King!
Okay, everyone on the bus. Our trip starts now. [leaves and the others follow]
[The Louds arrive in Naples, Italy while Lynn is carrying the whole family and sets them down]
[to the viewers] Buongiorno from Naples, Italy. [the map of Europe shows their rental bus leaving England, driving through France, and arrive in Italy] We drove our double-decker bus all the way through England, and then through France to get here. And now, would you believe if I said we've been backpacking for miles to get pizza? Oh. You would. Well anyway, Gus from the Games and Grub, tipped us off to the secret location of the world's best pizza, but his directions, are just a little hard to follow. And not just because they're written in marinara sauce. [reads the postcard] "Once atop the tomato shaped hill, follow the smell of oregano for 700 pizza paddles?" Confusing, right?
[sniffing] Oh, I smell the oregano. It's coming from that way.
[walking while counting as the family follows him] One pizza paddle, two pizza paddles, three pizza paddles, four pizza paddles, five pizza paddles, six…
[sniffing] It's coming from here. This must be it.
This is where the world's best pizza is made? Maybe we misread the marinara.
[in Italian accent; off-screen] The sauce never lies. [the Louds gasp and turn to her, whose standing behind them; kindly] Benvenuti. I am Nonna Viola, and you must be the Louds.
What? How did you know (who we are)? Are you some kind of mind reader?
[in Italian] Mamma Mia! Il Vulcano sta pur errutare!
She's saying it's gonna blow!
[Mt. Vesuvius begins to erupt and smoke and lava start to flow out the crater; The Louds make a mad dash only to get trapped by the lava]
This is just like when we played The Floor Is Lava, except the floor is actually lava!
