Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[as Harold and Rhonda are assigned to partner up taking care of an egg baby]
Come on, Rhonda, you know you like me!
[nervously] Where in the world would you get a ridiculous idea like that?
Remember that time at the Cheese Festival, when you jumped...
[claps a hand over Harold's mouth] I thought I told you never to mention that night ever again.
[after when Harold showed Rhonda their egg that has tape all over it]
What did you do, Harold?!
Nothing.
Harold, this is not our egg. This — I don't even know what this is. What did you do with Courtney?
Uh, I, Uh... Oh! I was hungry!
You...ate...our...baby?
[Harold belches]
Not everyone is dressing like you?
[dressed as Helga] Look, everyone, I'm the it girl.
[Helga screams]
Okay, Curly, I admit it. I'm your secret admirer. And the truth is, no matter how hard I try and fight it, [reading off her hand] I'm really, really wild about you. In fact, I've fallen crazy in love. So what do you say? How does that make you feel?
[dips Rhonda] Give Daddy some sugar. [Kisses Rhonda]
[Trying to convince Arnold to help people again] Look at me, I'm terrible at giving advice. I have no moral conscience whatsoever. If you won't do this for me, do it for your stupid friends out there. Trust me, they're completely lost without you.
I still can't understand how Lila could prefer your plain, homely, dull as dirt Cousin Arnie over you, Arnold. I mean, you're no Dapper Dan, but you sure are better looking than Arnie. And you're sure a lot more fun to talk to, but she does like him better! Look at her glow!
[mad] Stinky, shut up.
[confused] What'd I say?
Suzie, make me a sandwich.
In a minute, Oskar. I'm ironing your pants.
Why can't you do both at the same time?
Oh, Oskar.
What?
You know how much I have to do. Why can't you just help out a little bit? You know my cousin Nancy is going to be here any minute with her baby.
I just want a sandwich.
When Nancy gets here with the baby, I want to know that I can count on your help. It'll be a lot of work having a baby in the house, you know.
Come on, Suzie. Make me a sandwich.
[Suzie is seen playing with Baby Oskar]
Oskar. Oskar.
What?!
I was talking to the baby.
Uhh. Suzie, I'm hungry. Make me a sandwich.
I can't right now. I have to give the baby a bath.
What for? It's not going any place.
Oh, Oskar.
What? All I want is a sandwich.
As long as the baby's here, he's going to have to come first.
But, Suzie, what about me?
[Later, Oskar is seen playing his saxophone, which causes Baby Oskar to cry openly]
Oskar, please!
What? I have to practice.
You're not the only person in this house. All you ever think about is yourself.
What's wrong with that?
[Oskar drinks a milk carton, while Baby Oskar begins to cry which causes Oskar to spit out his milk]
Oh, Suzie, it's crying again.
Well, then, pick him up and hold him for a minute.
I'm not gonna pick it up; it smells.
He probably needs a new diaper. Can you just-?
Oh, come on, Suzie. That's disgusting.
There is nothing disgusting about it; it's perfectly natural. And stop calling him "IT". He's not an "IT"; he's a "HE", and his name is Oskar.
That's another thing; it took my name. And now every time you say "OSKAR", I think you're talking to me, but it's always that little brat.
Baby Oskar reaches for Oskar's milk.
Get your own.
[Oskar and Susie are arguing over Oskar's inability to grow up and start acting responsible. He responds with his classic line "I'll do it tomorrow."]
Oh, sure, it’s a good day for you! Tomorrow’s a grand day for you, because tomorrow is the day you get a job! Tomorrow is the day you pay the bills, tomorrow is the day you grow up and start acting responsible, but tomorrow never comes for you, does it, Oskar? Because it’s so conveniently a day away!
Right, it’s always a day away, just like that song the Little Orphan Girl sings.
And from PS. 118, meet Arnold and his family. Phil, Pookie, Ernie, and and Mr. Heeee-yun!
It's H-WIN!
One more comment, Hyunh, and I'll give you a knuckle sandwich, plenty with mustard!
I'll give you both a knuckle sandwich!
That's odd, I don't remember packing any sandwiches.
Oh, good one, Hyunh!
You push me!
Yeah! Well, Gramps stepped on my toe!
I did not! This is stepping on your toe! [steps on Ernie's foot]
Bluto, Bluto!
Not Bluto, Pluto, you moron!
Huhhh... Huhh... Hi.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
