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S1 E15

Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15

“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

74,544 quotes · page 1317 of 4970

“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15

In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)

Okay so what did everybody make for their loosely structured craft time? Lauren?

LLauren

I made a Gertrude Stein!

[applause]

Amazing! Lauren, that's so good! I really wouldn't wanna follow that. Ann?

Oh boy...Um I was making some corn husk dolls for everyone. But they kind of turned out wrong so they look like monsters.

EEveryone

...

I'm sorry. I'm just gonna put that over there...in the fire. [throws dolls in the fire]

Well Ann's keeping us warm and that's important.

Once a year Donna and I spend a day treating ourselves. What do we treat ourselves to?

Clothes.

Treat Yo Self!

Fragrances.

Treat Yo Self!

Massages.

Treat Yo Self!

Mimosas.

Treat Yo Self!

Fine. Leather. Goods.

Treat Yo Self!

It's the best day of the year.

TDTom & Donna

[singing] The Best Day Of The Year!

You are defecting?

DDarren

I like you Mr. Swanson it's just, all we do is sit in silence and eat beans.

Those beans were a reward.

Relaxation lesson number one: Acupuncture. It's great for your back and your rear. Needles in your face, pleasure in yo' base.

Come on Goddesses. We just struck a huge blow for equality by proving that we were better than them!

LLauren

What about a public forum? You always say there's no better solution to a hot button issue than a good old fashioned public forum!

...[quietly] Great idea Lauren.

LLauren

What was that?

I said great idea Lauren!

I've taught them too well. I've created a mob of little Leslie Knope monsters. I'm so proud. And a little annoyed. But mostly proud...70-30.

I really want this dress and I like this crystal beetle but it's expensive and there's no use for it.

Donna Meagle. Treat Yo Self.

...

Velvet slippys, cashmere socks, velvet pants, cashmere turtle. I'm a cashmere, velvet candy cane.

Treat Yo Self!

...This is insane.

[Ben walks out of the changing room in a Batman costume]

Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God! This is a whole new level of nerd!

You're right. This is ridiculous. What am I doing?

Wait no no no no no! I mean that in a good way Ben! Listen to me. You're part of the Treat Yo Self team now okay!? If that costume somehow makes you happy, you're gonna buy it! You're gonna wear it out of the store. Okay? You're gonna Treat Yourself!

Yeah you know what? I'm gonna do that! I'm gonna treat myself. Thanks you guys. [starts crying] I really needed this. I'm gonna treat myself!

Uh oh. Batman's crying.

I bought this mackerel at the Supermarket. I've been standing in the water, with the fish, on my hook for 30 minutes. I saw it on an episode of I Love Lucy. Pathetic? Maybe. But, feels pretty good to have a bunch of little boys be super into me...that came out wrong.

[being interviewed] When you work in government, people often suspect that you're anti-business. So I'm throwing a little meet n greet with business owners and I've asked Tom's company to help. Here's my opening line: Hi, I'm Leslie Knope and I'm in the business of being city counselor.

Oh my God!

I'm not going to use that.

I take it we're having a party?

Dude! I knew there was something I forgot to tell you. Sorry.

No, no, no. It's fine. Why should you guys tell me you're gonna have an enormous party? I didn't tell you I was gonna be quietly working in my room.

That's a good point.

My family is very non-confrontational. My parents' method of problem-solving is to kind of keep everything bottled up and just subtly hint at what's bothering them. And after 36 years, they are still divorced.

Donna! Blue shirt, badge, night stick. You are a policewoman.

Yup. You're a regular-

-Sherlock Holmes! I solved that mystery before you did.

Okay this was fun... [walks away]

Hey Ron, good to see ya! Weren't you a pirate last year?

Yes. This is my Halloween costume. Andrew are you aware that your bathroom faucet is leaking?

Are you kidding me?! I just stuffed a sock in it yesterday! What else do they want me to do?

There's an exposed wire above the bathtub as well.

Oh yeah shock wire! I call it that cause if you take a shower and you touch the wire, YOU DIE!

...Yes that is accurate.

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