[Lincoln returns home and finds his sisters all glaring annoyingly at him]
Wrong house! [closes the door but they somehow appear before him]
We were standing on the curb for over three hours!
The garbage guys literally tried to take Lana to the dump!
I'm really sorry. I had a busy day with the very wealthy Lord Tetherby and I just couldn't get away.
I cannot believe you have been hanging out with some random rich guy all day instead of taking your own sisters to the Burpin' Burger!
[repeating Tetherby's words] A man in a limo can't be seen in some rat hole named after a bodily function. It's just not done.
You're not a man in a limo. You're a kid who ate a bunch of mustard! As soon as your limo's gone, this little fantasy of yours is going to be over!
Oh, really? Is that why they're making me a member of their club tonight, hm? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to put on my formal wear.
[Lincoln pulls out a sloppy joe with a note]
C3Classmate #3
[reading the note] "Happy Sloppy Joe Tuesday, Lame-o. Signed, Ronnie Anne!"
C2Classmate #2
And there's a heart!
CClassmates
Ooh! Lincoln's got a girlfriend!
C2Classmate #2
When's the wedding day, Lincoln?
[annoyed] Ha ha. Very funny.
CClassmates
Ronnie and Lincoln sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
Guys, Ronnie Anne is NOT my girlfriend. She's rude and gross and totally annoying. I'd rather lick the bathroom floor than kiss that weirdo. [hears a gasp and sees Ronnie Anne] Ronnie Anne!
[Ronnie Anne storms out of the cafeteria with a sharped scowl]
Whoa, Lincoln, I think you really hurt her feelings.
Come on, Clyde, Ronnie Anne is the toughest kid in school. She'll be fine.
[Later… as Lincoln returns home from school]
You MONSTER! [throws a tissue box at him, angrily]
You made Ronnie Anne CRY!
Cry?! I didn't mean to! Wait, how do you know?
Bobby told me... Right before he broke up with ME! [sobs]
What? Why does Bobby care?
[opens up a photo book of her, Bobby, and Ronnie Anne] Because Bobby is literally Ronnie Anne's brother! He said he could never date someone related to someone who hurt someone he's related to! Or something like that!
Ronnie Anne has a brother? I thought she was raised by trolls.
[throws CDs at him] THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT BOBBY WAS TALKING ABOUT! [chases him around the living room and grabs him by the collar with both hands] You have to make things right with Ronnie Anne!
Okay! Okay! I'll call her right now and apologize!
No! Nuh-uh! Actions speak louder than words. Bobby has to see you being nice to her. That's the only way he'll get back together with me! Which is why we're going on a double-date.
It's all been arranged. We have a reservation at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet at 6:00. And you will make her feel like… THE MOST SPECIAL GIRL IN THE WORLD!!
C3Classmate #3
Hey, Lincoln. What you doing at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet?
I'm just here with family… friends… I mean, family friends.
C3Classmate #3
Isn't that Ronnie Anne?
No. I mean, maybe. I didn't know she was here.
C3Classmate #3
Hey, are those khakis? [gasps] You're wearing date pants!
C2Classmate #2
I knew it! Ronnie Anne is your girlfriend!
She is not my girlfriend! Guys, I already told you! Ronnie Anne is rude, and gross, and totally annoying! I'd rather lick the bathroom floor and kiss that weirdo!
[Lori and Bobby are extremely angry at Lincoln for insulting Ronnie Anne for the second time in a row]
Ronnie Anne, wait! There's something I've gotta say. Can I have everyone's attention, please? I've said some pretty horrible things about a girl who deserves a lot better. Ronnie Anne, you're really cool, and funny, and I've had an awesome time hanging out with you tonight. But as my sister Lori once told me, actions speak louder than words. So, instead of telling you how great I think you are, well... [Lincoln pulls Ronnie Anne onto the podium and kisses her on the lips]
He looks okay, but we better check him.
[checks Lincoln's temperature with a scanner] 986 degrees? He's good. Let him go.
Will someone please tell me what the heck is going on?!
Haven't you heard? This morning our house became infested with an acute, febrile, contagious virus. Or, as it's known on the street, the flu.
With 13 Louds packed into 1200 square feet, when someone gets sick, it spreads like the plague. We're not just talking flu, we're talking...a zombie apocalypse!
[After performing "That's What Christmas is All About"]
Merry Christmas, Mr. Grouse.
We all chipped in and got you something.
[Lincoln gives him the present]
So you can go see your family for Christmas tomorrow.
And since you can't be with them tonight... [Rita and Lynn Sr. finally reveal their faces] ...we're bringing our family to you.
LOUDS! [in a warmer tone] You've made this the best Christmas ever. Thank you. I'd say you all landed permanent spots on Santa's nice list.
Even you. [Lola hugs Mr. Grouse's leg]
Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone inside!
Lucy, wait. We're sorry we pushed you so hard.
We got a little too excited when you said you wanted to be normal and regular, like us. But you're not those things. You're Lucy Loud. You're perfect just the way you are. And we love you.
Sigh. There's no need to apologize. I know you were just trying to help, and I thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sit in the dark. That always cheers me up.
Just another minute, Lucy! Hang on, Lola. [Picks up the other toys and drops the balls] Whoops! [Lily cries] No no no no no! Wait! It's all okay. Shh, shh! [Bitey climbs into his pant leg and makes him trip over the ball. The other girls gather around Clyde and demand that he help with his problems. He takes out his fanny pack] JUST TAKE THE COOKIES! [The girls see the cookies and chase after them as Clyde runs downstairs]
[runs into Lori] L-L-L-L-Lori? [gets a nosebleed and passes out]
[Clyde comes to his own senses]
Clyde! Talk to me, buddy. What happened back there?
What? How is that possible? You're the most caring person I know and you make great cookies.
It's the confidence I'm struggling with. [panicking] What if I give bad crush advice, and my future sibling gets their heart broken? Or what if I can't choreograph a ribbon dance, and they drop out of school and start holding up convenience stores? I'm going to be a terrible big brother!
CLYDE! [shakes Clyde] You're spiraling! You can do this. Just get out there and try again.
I can't, Lincoln! I don't have the confidence you do. And I never will.
It's okay, buddy. How about we just forget the whole training thing and play some video games?
I'll just go grab us some snacks.
