LLucy
My father told me that a limp handshake was for weak men and communists. He hated both.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
I've been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement. Categories include Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart and who is poor. Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Rage. Poise. Property rights. Fish: for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.
So are you happy to be back at work?
Well, our budget has been slashed to zero. I tried to buy fertilizer the other day for the soccer field. Request denied. We literally can't buy [bleep].
I want another nurse.
Well there are none. We're stretched pretty thin right now.
Then I want a janitor. They can do what you do right?
Yep. Nurses and janitors are totally interchangeable.
Except no-one dresses up like a janitor when they wanna be slutty.
Leslie! Go home. You're sick.
I'm not sick. It's just allergies. Come on guys just let me in there!
No you can't come in here. Leslie you look tired and you're all sweaty.
You look tired and you're all sweaty all the time! What's your excuse?! You wanna go there Jerry!?
...No.
I'm not sick I just have allergies okay! I took a claritin and I threw that up. So I took another one and I threw that up. And then I took a third and it stayed down! I'm getting better.
Who's your doctor?
Anne's my doctor. And she's the most beautiful nurse in the world.
Stop...POOPING.
Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have…network connectivity problems.
104.1, Leslie you're dehydrated, I'm admitting you.
[flu-ridden] If I was sick could I do this.
[she just sits there and does nothing]
...What are you doing?
[flu-ridden] Cartwheels...Am I not doing them?
No.
[flu-ridden] It's not that I don't trust Ben, it's that I don't have faith in Ben. And also I'm starting to forget who Ben is.
My body is like a microchip. A grain of sand could destroy it! [exasperated] My body is a microchip...
They have one called the "Meat Tornado." Literally killed a guy last year.
You had me at "Meat Tornado."
What are you doing?
Hey! That flu medicine really helped. I feel a thousand percent better. Good as new.
[Leslie puts her pants around her neck like a scarf]
Does this scarf look okay? I don't wanna look stuffy but I also don't wanna look too schlubby.
Get back in that bed.
So no to the scarf?
Get back in the bed
No, I'm going to that meeting!
Either you get back in the bed or I will strap you down, I've done it before, don't test me!
[Leslie reluctantly climbs back into bed]
I like Andy. I'm surrounded by a lot of women in this department...and that includes the men.
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