“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Oh, no, you're too young for a Mai Tai. [The little match girl gives him a stack of money] One Mai Tai coming up! [Gives her a cup of mai tai] So what's your name, anyway?

Hello! I'm Nigel Thornberry. My family and I love to get wild. Wild as... [bleep].

In what way?

And later this season on "Thornberrys: Wild as [bleep]"... This is a crime against nature! It's part of the local culture, sweetie. Yes, that's right. Blip, blop. Conservation, protecting the environment. Well, what do you think? Dad, your new show is morally bankrupt and utterly devoid of educational content. In other words, it's the perfect show for Discovery Channel. Capital!, And it's really made me think about what I'm doing with my life? [Grunts; falls down] Whoo-hoo!

Oh, my god!

Now, that is wild as [bleep]!

We'll rescue you, Piggy!

Get lost, you blue weirdo. We're on a date.

ROAR! Roar again!

All right, gang! Let him have it! [squirts water at Kermit's right eye]

AAH! MY EYE!

[Laughs] Direct hit!

Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho! [Trips over then falls down to the cars in the street]

Radcliffe, it's official. You have 50 pregnant females.

How is that possible?

Remember, darling, only 15 of our 101 Dalmatians were related. Clearly, the unrelated ones had sex!

Actually, siblings get it on all the time. Why, it wouldn't surprise me if Pongo and Perdita over there were having sex with their own children, uh, likely while the others watched.

Jesus! Can't believe I had to give up songwriting for a day job. Lousy Dalmatians eating me out of house and home! [Dogs barking] Aah!

These things breed like fruit flies. It's a population control issue.

[Sighs] We were wrong to think you were a bad person, Cruella.

[Laughs] Oh, there's no such thing as evil, you know? Everyone is the hero of their own story.

We really don't need a sociology lesson.

Guys, look what Andy's aunt got him from Gwyneth Paltrow's website. Say "hi" to Pinko!

[a block of wood with pieces of string attached to it] Hello.

What are you?

I am a Swedish creativity object, designed in conjunction with free space theory, which encourages cognitive freedom. [to Woody] For instance, your cowboy concept restricts imaginative thinking, whereas I am conceptually neutral. Andy chooses what I am, not the manufacturer.

I already hate this prick!

Hey, stop that! We're all friends here, Mr. Potato Head. Pinko, let me be the first to welcome you and shake your hand!

How CAN I shake your hand?

Uh, with your hand right there. [points to Pinko's string]

Who said that's a "hand"? Maybe I'm a magical train and that "hand" is a wheel? Maybe I'm a candy making machine, or a hotel for tiny clowns? My concept will come from Andy's brain, not yours.

Whoa! No need to get upset, man.

"Man"? How dare you! Maybe I'm a woman? Maybe I'm an asexual space creature? Andy should decide, and not be forced into your narrow, violent worldview.

Violent?! We are NOT violent toys!

Really?! What is that holster used for? Probably not organic fruit snacks. [to Buzz] And I bet that laser isn't meant for pointing to things in a classroom setting. [points to Rex] That is a Tyrannosaurus Rex - A.K.A. nature's perfect killer! [to Mr. Potato Head] And you're the most frightening toy of all!

What, because of my acerbic point of view?!

You keep body parts in your trunk. You know who else did that? Jeffrey Dahmer! And didn't you strap a bear to the grill of a truck to teach him a lesson? Who are you, the Mafia?!

Hey, shhh! Andy's coming!

I can't wait to begin growing creatively with Andy!

"I am Pinko. You decide what I am." [scoffs] Okay. You're trash!

Hey, can someone give me a hand?!

Who says these are hands? Ha ha ha ha! [high fives Woody, then screen cut to static]

Boots, tell them we mean them no harm.

Uh, eeh, eeh, eek, eek, ooh, oog, ooh.

Uh, what'd they say? Boots, you son of a bitch.

Daniel, meet King Friday's niece.

I'm Tina, and I'm years old.

Tina, if you're my age, why do you look like a grown-up woman lady?

I started developing when I was... Well, that's how old I am.

How come I don't have lady balloons?

Well, Daniel, Tina has something called... precocious puberty!

[Singing] Everybody's gonna grow. that's a fact that we all know. There's no shame in letting nature have its way. Hormones in us cause these surges. We get pubes, we get urges. And it's beautiful, no matter what they say. Most are changing 'round! That's the average and the mean... [Points to Tina] ...Unless you've got precocious puberty!

Okay but...

Could be hormones in our food

Could be nature being rude, No one knows what causes this calamity. Yes, Tina's got precocious puberty! Boys and girls as young as Growing breasts and shaggy floors!

Got it dude.

[Frightened] Am I gonna get p-p-precosis prububerty?

Well, it's very rare in tigers, son.

Wait! aren't tigers usually fully grown at Daniel's age?

Yes, that's true, but Daniel's got...

[singing] Dwarfism, dwarfism! [daniel sobs]

It's hard to find a great-tasting breakfast that won't raise my cholesterol.

Did somebody ask for a tasty breakfast?! Nothing beats the taste of oats and honey.

It's Great! [He bangs the table then buzz bee gets his Stinger stuck to the kid's arm]

WHAT THE [BLEEP]?!

AWWCH!

No! No! Oh, my God, NO! This can't be HAPPENING!

[Confused] It'll bee okay, bee. You'll be okay.

Yeah, yeah. I'll be okay. I'll just... [Groans; he Gets unstuck but his abdomen breaks he screams as ooze is coming out of his abdomen The kids see the blood of his abdomen then falls down] It's so cold. Oh, my heart ... I can feel it slowing down. Oh. Oh, it stopped. I'm ... I'm so scared.

Honey Nut Cheerios has oats that'll help lower cholesterol. part of this nutritious breakfast.

Welcome home, Daddy Pig.

Hello, Mummy Pig. Hello, Peppa. Hello, George. Bad news. [Snorts] I've been made redundants.

What's that mean, Daddy?

Well, Peppa, that's the pretentious way of saying, [snort] I got fired.

Oh, no, Daddy Pig. [Snorts] Why?

Because of this damn Brexit. My company has lost far too many [snort] pounds!

[Confused] Oh, it's too bad you haven't lost more pounds, Daddy. You've got a very big tummy.

[Laughs] Peppa! [Snorts] Your jokes at my expense are the only thing keeping me from jumping out of [snort] the window.

Hello, Peppa.

Malika Meerkat and Randall Rhino? What are you doing here?

We've come to say goodbye, Peppa. Since Brexit inflamed. anti-immigrant hated crimes, My Muslim family doesn't feel safe anymore.

And I'm getting deported back to Aleppo. They'll remove my woman hands, for they have touched a book.

[Voice breaking] D-Daddy! Why is that happening?

Because, Peppa, [snort] right-winged voters around the world are acting like...

[holding his Dinosaur] Dinosaur, Grrrr!

Not now, George. [Snorts] Like, I was saying, most politicians are afraid of progress, so they're stuck in the past like...

Dinosaur?

Not now, George. [Snort] Anyway, if we let these greedy pigs control our world, we'll all end up like...

Dinosaur!

Yes, George, we see you've got a dinosaur.

[Snorts] Well, since I can no longer bring home the bacon and ham, [chuckles] these will have to do it! [puts his ears on the grill]

Daddy Pig, did you just pull off your ears on the grill?

My Whaaat?! Oh, God!

Harold had dreamed of this moment a thousand times. Harold then drew himself a new father. This dad never yelled and had a three-year chip from AA. He was also good at lifting things. Harold and his new father sailed away to a bright new tomorrow. Harold's mother filed a missing-person report, but she never saw her son again. She hanged herself a year later. The rope was purple.

[singing] ♪ And I love you, cha cha cha ♪

Ahh, another successful day at Chuck E. Cheese, huh?

Ugh, we get it! You own the place.

Hey, Pasqually, did you see that kid puke up his pepperoni?

Pasqually? PASQUALLY!

I noticed him glitching, but I thought he was pranking us. He is the funny one.

We gotta help him! Pasqually! [The Animatronic band reach pasqually twice] Pasqually, we've done everything we can. [Pasqually went up in flames] Everybody, RUN! [All grunting; All screaming]

Hey, Rocky. I've got a friend request.

[reads the note] Hello, Moose. It is us, old American friends from your youth, Bingo and Muffy.

Haha, Oh, boy. Old friends. There's something suspicious.

about that account, Bullwinkle. Speaking of old American things, don't you miss good old days when flying squirrels weren't taking hardworking moose jobs? Hmm, I do generally remember things being better in the past. Don't you want to make... ooh... I mean, America great again? Those new Facebook friends are spreading pretty incendiary comments, Bullwinkle.

[offscreen] Shut your cockhole, snowflake!

Hello, Broseph!

Squirrel Lives Matter march against ignorant mooses set for tomorrow. Come join! Oh, boy. [leave his room]

Oh, boy, I will n...

Hey, Rocky! [points to Natasha] Watch me pull a squirrel out of her own asshole.

I'll [bleep]ing kill you, Bullwinkle!

[grunting] This is the worstest case of TMJ I've ever seen.