Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
How long you been standing there, you freak?
What are you, a Chinaman?
I wish I knew myself.
We don't cotton to strange Chinamen with no sense of self who stand secretly by for indeterminate amounts of time. Gonna put you in a world of hurt.
(The employee and the customer both attack Xavier.)
Take that! Taste the pain!
We're here to announce that we have discovered the oldest cave drawing known to man.
(The reporter gestures to a crude drawing of Xavier.)
The figure is a rather ugly creature, possibly a Chinaman of some sort...
I'm going to have to go back in time and find who did this painting, and what it means. But how?
(repeats) Every cigarette takes 17 minutes off your life.
(repeats) Every slice of bacon takes nine minutes off your life.
Can you dumb it down a notch?
If you smoke and eat bacon fast enough, you can go back in time.
Ooga-booga. How long you stand there, freak? You some kind of ooga-booga Chinaman? Me put you in world of hurt.
(Nimgok attacks Xavier.)
Take that! Ooga-booga. Taste pain!
(Xavier talks to a bruised cavewoman.)
My husband. He only does 'cause he love me.
No. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Maybe he does it because you're stupid.
Maybe.
Well, if that's love, I'd like to make some love (shakes his fist) to his mouth.
Shoot, I oughta punch his vacation-rapin' face from here to the local bus station!
Whoopsie-doodle, there was a mix-up at the cookie factory! We made the cookies way too big and the chocolate chips b-b-b-blue?!
My God! No one deserves a mix-up that bad! I've got to help those poor bastards.
Clumso the cookie chef really popped a boner into these yummy snacks! Blue chocolate Whoopsie Doodles, available for a limited time only!
Uh-oh, now there was a factory mix-up! We accidentally mixed up the cookie factory with the tampon factory!
Sir, this is private property. The company has a policy of not cottoning to freaks around these parts.
What's that, Mother Earth? You say this factory is poisoning you? And you need my help? What's that? You want me to repeat everything you say?
So you admit it is your fault. You kill off the corn mutants, I stay back and protect the womenfolk. Oh!
(Xavier leaves the scene, and enters the house and closes the door)
Society is about to end, girl, and it's up to us to start repopulating the planet.
I suppose.
Who did this to you guys?
Our...son. (He dies.)
I know it was arson, Dad, but who did it? Daddy! I shall avenge thee!
Been saving myself for marriage, or at least consent.
Man, I must have wolfed a mind-burrito, because I just had a massive brain fart.
I'm looking for Puggler.
I think he took off, man, to go to Burning Person or something.
We're at Burning Person.
I went to Burning Person this year?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
