“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

They say when you die, you shit your pants; but not me. I'm gonna shit my heart.

Fate. Destiny. Fatestinatey. People toss those words around like tennis balls. Well, I eat balls for breakfast. I know my purpose is righting wrongs. I'm the wrong-righter, but I don't need you to call me that. I have special needs. Just call me...

Kids, I swear, I'm gonna love all of you, and equally. I'll be dividing my love into seven equal sections, or "Love Quadrants". Each quadrant will be worth 15 "Love Units" represented by these small brass marbles. You may use these marbles as currency amongst yourselves. Collect 35 "Love Units", you can trade those in for a beach towel with my face on it. Collect more than 3 towels...

Where are my babies? Where are my babies?

Keep it down, lady, we got families around here.

Aaaah, have you seen my babies?

I'm poppin' a peek at a smokin' babe right now.

I lost seven of my babies!

Tragic, I've got septuplets myself. I don't know what I'd do if I lost them. Good thing I'm a responsible parent. You should try it sometime.

This is no longer a clue. It's a game. You may have just gotten checkmate, but we're playing Chinese checkers, and as my old friend Confucius say; the hunter has become the hunter-ed. The chaser has become the chosed. Dame Fortuna has had her franking privileges revoked. It seems the portrait has painted the artist, sketching the reverser, who has become the reverse-ed. But this time the suffixed will become the sufferer, and it appears the baby killer is about to kill a baby.

Someone stole our bloodhounds, but we got the backup bloodhounds to chase the first tier of bloodhounds.

Don't you see? The missing child you each seek to reconnect with is still inside you all. But you buried it. You, Paul, when you were six and you killed that spider monkey with that claw hammer, you really just squashed your heart with that hammer, and that's why you became a dirty pig cop.

Unload your troubles unto me, even if it's tough to swallow. I'm used to swallowing huge loads.

I'm going to help you, even if it kills us both!

I'm gonna name him after me. (beckoning) Come on, me!

The wise elders taught that resorting to violence will never change a person on the inside. In conflict you must rip your opponent a new asshole in his consciousness. Soon his mind will be open to all truth. All hole, no ass.

But, Master, you can't punch someone with your mind.

(gives Young Xavier a board) Hold this board.

(with a bloody nose) Idiot. He totally missed the board.

Silly, pain is a myth made up by poor people who don't want to work! Tears are as real as a unicorn's horn! I've got a unicorn's horn belt! Let's play a board game... I'm bored... I win! What's my prize? Where are you hiding my prize?!

Your prize is up here.

Every luxury has a deep price. Every indulgence, a cosmic cost. Each fiber of pleasure you experience causes equivalent pain somewhere else. This is the first law of emodynamics. Joy can be neither created nor destroyed. The balance of happiness is constant. Fact: Every time you eat a bite of cake, someone gets horsewhipped. Facter: Every time two people kiss, an orphanage collapses. Factest: Every time a baby is born, an innocent animal is severely mocked for its physical appearance. Don't be a pleasure hog. Your every smile is a dagger. Happiness is murder. Vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. Think of some kids. Some kids.

And hey, vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. The kids, a huge bucket…of kids.

Weak...from drifting...on the longest mosy ever rambled. Weeks with no meal or beverage. Blistering desert pounding me to the crosine-tipped brink of insanity. Yet, perhaps there is truth in sand madness.