How’s your skating class?
Like a scrimmage with the Pittsburgh Steelers
Did Charlie tell you why he’s got you taking those lessons yet?
No, all I know is it’s really tough on my...
Legs?
Those too.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
I’m in
Do you think they bought it?
Well if they didn’t just tell Charlie I want a simple funeral, you know no frills, no fuss. And then I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered all over Charlie’s water bed.
How did you know Charlie had a water bed?
Just an educated guess
Uh-huh, I won’t ask you where you got your education.
Now, wait a minute Sabrina. Let's go over this again. Professor Peter Wycinski hurdled his 60-year-old body onto our porch and marched into our room bearing a bottle of plum brandy?
I know that sounds crazy.
Oh, no, it makes perfect sense.
Yeah, just last week Rosalynn Carter leaped through my kitchen window with a quart of chilli.
Mrs Evers?
EMrs Evers
Yes?
I stopped by your house and your maid told me you were here so I took a small liberty.
EMrs Evers
Did you enjoy it?
Enjoy what?
EMrs Evers
Taking a small liberty with my maid.
Oh no, not with her, with you. What I mean is I took the small liberty of coming down here.
EMrs Evers
Oh, I’m glad we worked that out.
Free form.
What exactly is free form?
Show them Bosley. (he starts playing an adult film) Now here’s some film Marvin didn’t want us to see.
Oh, little bo peep.
That is not the little bo peep I knew and loved as a child.
Yeah well this is the unabridged version.
How do they do that?
Very carefully.
I’m confused.
Alright, ask questions and I’ll try to explain.
Woah Bosley, don’t you think you put a little too much garlic in there?
No advice please, when I cook I do it alone.
If you eat that much garlic you’ll do everything alone.
Wait a minute, are you saying they are suspects?
I’m saying they might give us some kind of handle on this. The trick is to question them so they won’t realise they’re being questioned.
Ah-hah I see. What we need is a sharp eye and a deft clever tongue.
That would be wonderful Bosley, but meanwhile see what you can find out without blowing it.
Listen, last night at 11.30 I woke up and Halverson was slipping back into the room.
11.30? That was just after Faraday was attacked.
Halverson has a grudge against nurses in general.
And maybe Faraday in particular.
Now if he was cleverly and deftly interrogated...
That’s a good idea Bos, the only trouble is you’re the one who’s closest to him, so you’ll have to do it.
Oh that’s amusing, that is very amusingǃ
My teeth feel like they have little sweaters on them.
Would you think I was pushy if I asked why you were shooting at me?
We’re all invited to the premiere.
Wonderful, I’ll see you there.
Charlie, you mean you’ll come with us?
I mean, I’ll see you there.
Yes Charlie, but will we see you?
You might, you know I love the movies.
Ah Charlie, how will we know it’s you?
I’ll be wearing a tuxedo.
Charlie, all the men at the premiere will be wearing tuxedos
That’s showbiz.
Well my guess is he’s the murderer. How else would he know that Charlie calls us angels?
Well it could have just been a coincidence. He was trying to come on to all three of us at once and he needed a collective noun. Or is angels a pronoun?
Anytime I’m stuck I call everything an adverbial phrase. Yep it’s an adverbial phrase.
Charlie knows what he’s doing.
Oh sure, like the time he sent us to Nova Scotia to find Mrs Carpenter’s killer?
Oh that was a cute one.
Uh-huh, and the killer was managing a banana plantation in Honduras.
You got him didn’t you?
We were there so long the guy had to come home for Christmas.
What did she tell you about me?
Oh well she said you were really a take charge kind of guy. Always on top of things.
I always thought the world of Jill. Did she tell you anything else?
Uh-huh, she said you had eyes like Paul Newman and a smile like Robert Redford.
I see that you’ve got your sister’s peculiar sense of humour.
Hey is that it? Is that the speaker that Charlie talks to you on?
There is no Charlie, Bos made him up.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.