Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
He's my shmoopy-doopy sweedy-weedy pony pie!
You're my shmoopy-doopy sweedy-weedy pony pie.
Did he just say...?
[Both of them appear to be hypnotized by love]
You're my cutie-patootie lovey-dovey honey-bunny!
You're my heartie-smartie smirchy-wirchy baby-waby.
Big Mac! [waves a hoof in his face] Hello?! What's going on?!
C'mon now, Doodle, give a smile!
Nopony calls me "Doodle"!
Never, or never ever?
Never ever ever ever ever!
That's four evers. That's like, forever!
Oh. Was that your wig?
[growls]
I can fix this, I can fix this! [gets out a megaphone] Hey, everypony! Does anypony have a toupee? [The other ponies around her are confused] This donkey is really, really, bald! [The other ponies laugh] What's so funny? This is serious business, everypony! Cranky needs a new wig to cover his hairless head!
Woohoo! This is just fantastic! Ooh, now we can hang out together, and chat, and sing songs, and [gasps] party! Oh, I can throw you guys a big party! It'll be called a "Welcome to Ponyville, I found my lost love, I'm BFF's with Pinkie Pie Party" ...Or maybe something less over-the-top and not so super-hyper.
[after Pinkie finishes singing] Pinkie!
He’s blocking your path. What are you gonna do about it?
Um, politely walk around him?
No.
Gingerly tip-toe around him?
No!
Go back home, and try again tomorrow?
Never apologize when you can criticize.
Nopony pushes new Fluttershy around! Nopony!
Fluttershy, what are you doing? That's no way to behave!
Didn't you see what he did to new Fluttershy? And he thought new Fluttershy is a pushover!
No, sweetie, he didn't. We saw the whole thing. We think that you've taken your assertiveness training a little too far.
What?! You just want new Fluttershy to be a doormat like old Fluttershy! But old Fluttershy is gone!
New Fluttershy? Old Fluttershy?!
What happened to nice Fluttershy? We want that Fluttershy back.
No, you want wimp Fluttershy. You want pushover Fluttershy. You want do-anything-to-her-and-she-won't-complain Fluttershy!
Nyaaaaah! Too many Fluttershys to keep track of! Make it stop!
Things getting too complicated for your simple little brain, Pinkie Pie?
[Rarity catches Pinkie Pie]
[angrily] Now, stop right there! Let's not let things descend into petty insults!
Why not? I thought 'petty' is what you're all about, Rarity. With your 'petty' concerns about fashion.
[Rarity gasps in shock]
Hey, leave her alone! Fashion is her passion!
Oh, and what are you passionate about? Birthday cake? Party hats? [Pinkie retreats] I can't believe that the two most frivolous ponies in Ponyville are trying to tell new Fluttershy how to live her life when they are throwing their own lives away on pointless pursuits that nopony else gives a flying feather about!
[in tears] Looks like nasty Fluttershy is here to stay!
[also in tears] I cannot believe what that monster Iron Will has done to you!
[Rarity and Pinkie Pie run away crying]
Iron Will's not a monster, he's a minotaur! [she angrily sees her reflection on Rarity and Pinkie's tear puddle and comes to realization in tears] I'm the monster.
Old Pinkie Pie's not so sure New Fluttershy is such a good idea after all.
Old Rarity agrees.
What did you say?
No.
Ohhh, I'd hate to be you right now, because Iron Will is gonna to rain down a world of hurt unless Iron Will gets his money pronto! [snorts]
As I recall, during your workshop you promised one hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed, or you pay nothing. Well, I'm not satisfied.
What do you mean you're not satisfied?! Everypony has always been satisfied!
Well, I guess I'm the first then. But since I'm not satisfied, I refuse to pay. It's as simple as that.
[goats bleating]
Ohh, are you... sure you're not just a little bit satisfied? B-because maybe... we could cut a deal. I-I mean we're both reasonable creatures, aren't we?
I'm sorry, but no means no.
No means no, huh? Nopony's ever said that to me before. Huh... I gotta remember that one. That's a good catchphrase for my next workshop.
[goat bleating]
You were amazing, Fluttershy! You totally stood up to that monster!
In fact, you didn't change at all! You were the same old Fluttershy that we've always loved!
The one we missed!
Don't worry, old Fluttershy's back for good. I'm sorry I took the whole assertiveness thing too far. Friends?
Friends.
[laughing]
Who are you? I mean, you're me, but I'm me too. How can there be two 'me's? It's not scientifically possible. You are not scientifically possible!
Twilight, please! I have a very important message for you from the future!
You're from the future?!
That's right, now listen-
What happened to you? The future must be awful.
Please! I don't have much time!
Is there some sort of epic pony war in the distant future or something?
Actually, I’m from next Tuesday morning. But that’s not important right now!
I can’t believe time travel is really possible! How did you—I mean, I—figure it out?
The time spells are in the Canterlot Archives. But that’s not—
Really? Where? I’ve never seen them.
They’re in the Starswirl the Bearded Wing. Now you have to listen to—
Is time travel fun, or does it hurt? I have so many questions—
[slams a hoof in Twilight's mouth] I have something extremely important to tell you about the future! And I only have a few seconds, so you’ve got to listen! Whatever you do, don’t -- !
[Future Twilight disappears before she could finish]
Future Twilight?! Oh, no! What was she trying to warn me about?! Her clothes, her mane, that scar! Oh, what a mess she is…I mean, I am…or I will be. ...She must want me to prevent whatever horrible thing happens in the future! [gasps]
Pinkie!
Yes, Twilight?
Do you have a ball I could borrow?
[goes to a tree and takes a ball out of a crack] I have balls stashed all over Ponyville! In case of ball emergencies...
Uh, Twilight?
[hushed] What is it, Spike?
Isn't this where we came in?
Cool! Can we climb in the window again? That was super fun!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
