Spencer Reid quotes from Criminal Minds

Greenaway

[reading the headline] Stripping Bandit. That's terrible. That makes it sound like the bandit's doing the stripping.

Reid

What would you call him?

JJ

Pervert.

Greenaway

Scumbag.

Morgan

I'd call him an ass.

Hotchner

Hey, focus, please.

Reid

I thought maybe... you might want to talk.

Greenaway

Don't go all profiler on me.

Reid

Elle, you got shot in your own home, and then came back to the BAU like nothing even happened. Thinking you might want to talk isn't profiling, it's Psych 101.

Garcia

Yeah, this is true. All complaints filed were false alarms, but then there is that matter of his missing wife.

Reid

Wife? What wife? When did she go missing?

Garcia

Almost fifty years ago.

Reid

No record of her ever being found?

Garcia

I got two words for you, my friend: Rear Window. That guy probably chopped that lady up into delicious, bite-sized little pieces. Think about it. She may have never left the premises. [whispers] She may still be in the house.

Reid

Garcia, I'm sitting here in the dark alone. Thanks.

Garcia

While you're waiting for a potential murderer to come home? Kind of dangerous. Kind of sexy.

Morgan

You really are afraid of the dark.

Reid

I'm working on that.

Morgan

You should work a little harder.

Reid

You don't believe the girls are missing?

It's not really the kind of thing that happens around here, you know?

Gideon

You'd be surprised to know how many times we hear that.

Garcia

He who seeks the "Queen of All Knowledge" speak and be recognized.

Reid

Garcia, we're sending you some cigarettes.

Garcia

Why not a flesh-eating virus? It'll be faster and far less painful.

Reid

We need some butts rushed to the lab for DNA analysis.

Garcia

Oh, Reid... I love it when you say "butts." Send away, sugar. Bang bang for now.

Reid

[referring to the bomber's phone call warning of an attack "where it all began"] So Seattle's "where it all began."

Morgan

We just need to figure out what "it" is and, off the top of my head, I can think of grunge music and overpriced coffee.

Reid

I need to stop by a bookstore and get a copy of Empty Planet. I want to reread it before we talk to the author. I haven't read it since I was six.

Morgan

Six? I was still riding my Big Wheel at six years old.

Reid

Do you mind? It will only take 10 minutes.

Gideon

To buy it or read it?

Reid

Uh... both, actually.

Hotchner

Ma'am, we've just been assigned your daughter's case. We're in the process of gathering information, but so far no witnesses have come forward.

Well around here guns go off like those damn car alarms, every 15 minutes. Nobody's stupid enough to talk, nobody cares.

Reid

We do.

You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for them [gestures towards the children in the other room. [picks up newspaper and reads from it] "Heinous crimes against upstanding members of the community." Nobody writes about prostitutes being shot, because they won't admit they think they're cleaning up the place.

Hotchner

You're right. Cases like your daughter's usually go unsolved, the problem is people aren't looking for them, because they don't know that they're missing. Part of her job was to stay below the radar. Doesn't mean she was any less important.

Reid

There's nothing in the juvenile offender records.

Garcia

So you think like a high school kid.

Reid

I was 12 and I hadn't been though puberty when I was in high school.

Garcia

Okay, reset. I think like a high school student. You think like a profiler.

Reid

How many people's lives did I risk in the future?

Gideon

Profiles can be wrong.

Reid

What if it's not? What if next time he kills somebody?

Gideon

Then you catch him.

Gideon

We're dealing with a desperate detective here. Three dead boys and no evidence at all. So he applies the profile directly to someone he already suspected. It's easy to get tunnel vision that way.

Reid

"One begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts." It's one of Sherlock Holmes' favorite quotes.

Gideon

We need to figure out who really killed these boys before they decide to charge Morgan.

Prentiss

What do you want us to do?

Gideon

The last victim was someone Morgan was seen with. Conveniently, Morgan was already a suspect in the other two.

Prentiss

Someone set him up?

Gideon

We should consider Morgan a victim. Prentiss, you and Reid talk to his family, learn about him, especially around the time of the first murder.

Reid

To get away with murder, you simply don't tell anyone.

Prentiss

The only people he told were the people he killed. And then he took from them what he needed: cash, credit cards...

Reid

I'm going to call Garcia and see if anything Catherine Hale owned was used after her death. [dials phone]

Prentiss

[to herself] And then he moved on to his next victim.

Reid

You all right?

Gideon

What?

Reid

You seem unhappy.

Gideon

I am unhappy. Tired of people using religion... to justify the terrible things they do.

Reid

Actually, I, ah, really have to, um, you know, go.

JJ

You do?

Reid

For like 30 minutes.

JJ

Why didn't you say something in the car?

Reid

[to Tobias] Do you mind?

Tobias

My father doesn't like it.

Reid

Your father? You're like... 30.

Tobias

At what age should one start disrespecting the wishes of their parents?