GGloria
Look, I mean I said he wasn't a very strong person. But then who is? I mean, look at me. I eat carbohydrates all the time.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I asked permission from Captain Richey to work right along side you, sir.
[dismayed] You're going to work along with me?
I do hope that's acceptable to you, sir. Uh, Captain Richey did say you were fast becoming [pause] a legend in the department.
Captain Richey said that?
Oh yes, indeed.
[pleased] Oh.
It's a little... steep. But I'll tell ya, it was the quickest way down.
Oh, by far, sir.
Lieutenant-- Lieutenant? As you probably noticed, there are 3 cups, 3 plates, 3 different brands of cigarettes. That means there were two persons here besides the victim. That's obvious.
Yeah. Awfully obvious.
Did you ever see one of these before, Lieutentant?
Uh, no, not sure I have. Looks kind of familiar, though.
It's a camera mounted starlight scope. They use them quite a bit at Burglary for night work.
You mean that takes pictures in the dark?
[nods] I bought this one myself.
You used your own money?
Well, I wanted to have the best equipment for the job, sir.
You must be a bachelor.
Uh, sir?
WCWalter Cunnell
Yes?
You don't mind if I ask you a personal question, do you?
WCWalter Cunnell
No.
What'd you pay for those shoes?
WCWalter Cunnell
I think about 60 dollars.
I stepped into some water yesterday and ruined mine. You don't know where I could find a pair that looks like that for around 16 or 17?
WCWalter Cunnell
16 or 17? Sorry, I don't really, Lieutenant.
Thank you.
Columbo, I'm trying to watch this game! What is it?
You know, you did the same thing the first time I came in here last Sunday. I guess that's what started me wondering.
I did what?
You turned the radio down but not quite off. When I told you that Eric Wagner was dead. It's alright. I do the same thing. You know, when I'm listening to the game and my wife interrupts, I can't help myself. I want to hear that game and I don't care how the important the interruption.
[annoyed] Your wife has my sympathy.
[yelling] Columbo, I'm going to throw you out of here on your ear!
I wouldn't do that, sir. I mean, you'll miss the best part. You see, I'm not finished.
You know, I listened to this thing I can't tell ya how many times, over and over again, figuring maybe I'd hear something that shouldn't be there, some sound that shouldn't be there, an ambulance, a fire truck, like you were in a phone booth, something...
[impatiently] But you didn't because it isn't there. I made the call from this booth, from that phone.
Then it suddenly occurred to me. I had it backwards. Maybe there was a sound that should be there and wasn't.
Is that Big Ben?
SDSuperintendent Durk
Yes, it is.
Well, look at that, a thing that old and it´s only a minute slow.
I just never have seen anything like you. Like that performance you both just gave...
NFNicholas Frame
Thank you. I didn't mean to be nasty, old boy. No hard feelings?
And you both must be exhausted. I don't know how you do it.
LSLilian Stanhope
With innocent, loving hearts. Good night, Lieutenant.
Well, whatever it is, it sure must be most unusual. Uh, the reason I say that is because, you know, when my wife and I try to remember what happened yesterday or the day before, well, we don't agree on anything. And you two, you not only agree, you use almost the exact same words to tell about it. [pauses to let his words sink in] Good night.
Marvelous. Let me tell ya, I don't want to repeat myself but the other night when I saw that performance that you two--
NFNicholas Frame
Durk, would you please explain what we're doing here.
SDSuperintendent Durk
[indicating Columbo] Why don't you ask the tour guide?
[after exposing Nora as the murderer] I was just playing hunches. I had nothing to go on. I was just guessing. I had nothing concrete. I just wanted to see what you'd do. And when you came in here, you didn't even turn on the lights. Just ran right straight through to the fountain. You know, coincidence. If I hadn't called George, if he hadn't been looking at the TV, if it was some other movie, if you hadn't been dressed like a man... Because that's when it occurred to me. Twelve years ago, somebody standing on a beach at night saw your husband get in a boat and go out to the ocean. I remember the photographs. You and your husband, the same height. It could have been you.
NCNora Chandler
It was. You see, I married Al because I thought I could improve myself. You know, my career. And then I began to care about the marriage. So when he went playing around, you know, all the starlets, all that bit, well, it hurt. So I put up with it, you know. I put up with it until, one night, he brought one of them right in here. And we had a hell of a fight. We argued, fought, and I struck him with a bottle. And he... I panicked. And I buried him out there. Jean knew. Well, I'll get a coat and we'll go.
You were both nurses, is that right?
MTMarsha Talbot
Yes, but Sharon always was devoted to healing. She always worked in hospitals. Myself, I work in Beverly Hills for a plastic surgeon because I selfishly enjoy being with middle to upper middle class people. However, I don't meet any single men unless they're ready for face lifts.
You know, in a way I have to congratulate you. Up until now, you really had me going. I mean, here you are, you're a surgeon, a man that's gotta be cool. Even when you're angry you're controlled. You never lose yourself. That's why it struck me funny when you blew up in the operating room and you grabbed me and pushed me. I mean, you know, there was only one thing we didn't search. You know what it was? It was me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Columbo pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.