Cobra Kai · Season 1
[Daniel agrees to let Johnny have a free car on the trade-in lot as compensation for Louie and his goons destroying Johnny's Pontiac Firebird Trans-Am]
[looks at a red-orange Dodge Challenger with black racing stripes] This one's not half bad.
It's a 2009 Challenger, 5.8 liter.
5.7.
What, you know cars?
What kind of man doesn't?
I found his weakness, Sensei; it's his shoulder.
Look, we wanna win, but it's gotta be the right way. You don't have to fight dirty.
There's nothing dirty about winning, Sensei. You taught me that. Don't worry; I got this. No mercy.
[Johnny nurses a drink over Cobra Kai willing the All Valley Karate Championship, but hears a noise]
[steps out to the dojo area] Miguel? [sees a man's silhouette]
Congratulations. You did what I always thought you could do. You won. Cobra Kai is back where it belongs: Back on top. Everyone closed the book on us. They thought we were done. But now they see... [man appears in the light as John Kreese, smoking a cigar] that the real story's only just begun.
Everyone, fall in!
[The students fall into position, with Miguel and Hawk in front]
Must've been a rager, sensei.
Yeah, were you celebrating all weekend?
Celebrating what? That my students are a bunch of pussies? Diaz, Hawk, up front!
[Miguel and Hawk step forward, facing the other students]
Hawk, did you attack your opponent when his back was turned?
Yes, Sensei?
Diaz, did you purposely attack your opponent's injury?
Yes, Sensei.
You think that makes you badass? [Hawk and Miguel look at Johnny, visibly confused] What's the matter? Too tough a question? Maybe you need some help. Miss Robinson!
Yes, Sensei.
Two cobras in the jungle. One kills the strongest lion. The other kills a crippled monkey. Which cobra do you want to be?
The one that kills the lion, sensei.
And why is that?
Because it killed the stronger animal.
Correct! Cobra Kai is about being badass. And the baddest badass is the one that beats his opponent when he's at his strongest. [facing Hawk] Not when his back is turned! [Facing Miguel] Not when he's injured! Is that understood?
Yes, Sensei!
That means no more cheating. No more fighting dirty. From here on out, those are "pussy moves". And you don't want to be pussies, do you?
No, Sensei!
Good. That's why I had you wear your white belts. You're starting over. Diaz, Hawk, fifty push-ups, on your knuckles. Miss Robinson, warm them up.
Yes, Sensei.
I'm sorry. I realize that I was too hard on you. You were young, and I went overboard. You were my best student. You had so much potential. I just couldn't stand seeing you lose. I know I could be a tough son of a bitch. But if you'd seen some of the things that I've seen... Well, that doesn't change what I did. For years I've regretted that night. But when I heard that you brought back Cobra Kai, I thought that maybe this could be a shot for me to redeem myself. 'Cause believe me, there ain't nothing that I'd like more in this world than to have another chance. I understand if you never want to see me again. But just remember: I am the guy who always rooted for you. Ah, I almost forgot. [Takes out Johnny's 2nd place trophy from the 1984 All Valley Karate Championships] I fixed it for you. It may say second place. But in my opinion, you were always the better fighter. See you, kid.
[Johnny is in his office, on the phone with an interested customer]
Uh-huh. No, we're always looking for new recruits. We have a 4PM class and a 5PM class, but they're filling up fast. No no, we accept boys and girls. Gender what? Hey, is this a prank call?
[Johnny has his students lined up in front of a cement mixer truck]
You think winning the All Valley gives you the right to goof off? Well, I got news for you. Winning one championship don't mean squat! A true champion never stops training. You gotta keep moving forward, or else you can get stuck exactly where you are. It's like the cement in this truck. If that drum doesn't start turning, the cement inside will harden and get stuck. Is that what you want to happen to you?
No, Sensei!
Good. Then climb up, get inside, and make it spin.
Sensei, we're sorry for messing around.
We learned our lesson.
[lowers the cement mixer's ladder]Get in!
Sensei, this seems kind of dangerous. I mean, the fumes alone-
Quiet! This man led you to the mountaintop and you question him? Look at you. Look at all of you. I can't believe this pathetic pack of pussies competed in the All Valley, and let alone won. It's an absolute miracle. And who's responsible for that miracle? Johnny Lawrence. The best student in the history of Cobra Kai. My student.
You were Sensei's sensei?
You better believe it, kid. And I tell you I've never trained a tougher student in my whole life. So if you know what's good for you, you better listen to every goddamn word he says.
[long pause before Miguel steps forward]
I'll do it, Sensei.
[Daniel LaRusso makes a video ad]
Inner peace. Focus. Balance. These are just some of the skills that you will master when you join Miyagi-do Karate. I'm Daniel LaRusso, and before I was the number one auto dealer in the Valley, I was two-time All Valley Under-18 Champion. Now, you can learn the secrets of Okinawan karate, true karate, by joining the Miyagi-do team. Don't be a snake in the grass. Be a champion. Tweet us at hashtag TeamMiyagiDo. And all lessons are free. That's right, free. Because at Miyagi-do, it's not about the money. It's about the karate.
[Johnny Lawrence makes his own video ad for Cobra Kai]
There's a lot of talk going around the Valley about free karate. But everyone knows that in life, you get what you pay for. You wanna really kick the competition? [Johnny kicks a bonsai tree into pieces] Then you need to get your ass over to Cobra Kai. Screw that lame meditation bullshit. What you need is bone-crunching, face-smashing, good ol' American karate. [Johnny punches and elbows a body opponent bag] Enough about self-defense. Learn self-offense. Don't be a pussy. Join Cobra Kai, and let me teach you [clenches fist] the Way of the Fist.
And cut.
All right, did we get it?
I think so.
All right, great. Just make sure the Cobra Kai snake comes in at the end, all right? I want it to really pop. Make it chrome. And throw "Thunderstruck" under it.
I'm pretty sure the rights for that song will cost too much.
No, I already own it. Cassette's in the car. Oh, and put one of those hash browns at the end. You know, like, "Hash brown. Team Cobra Kai," or something. And then send it to the Internet!
The key to this move is making your enemy think you are retreating. But just as they let their guard down, that's when you strike the hardest.
[after breaking up with Moon, Hawk storms into the Cobra Kai dojo and starts attacking a punching bag. Kreese enters the room]
You get into a fight?
With Miyagi-do. We lost.
No, you didn't. The fight is only over when you say it is.
[Demetri has posted a one-star review of Cobra Kai on Yelp; Hawk confronts him about it at a comic book store]
You think I'm afraid of you? I know who you really are, Eli. So, why don't you, Rocksteady, and Bebop just leave me alone, okay?
[Demetri turns around to see two other Cobra Kai members approaching him]
Great. So this is what it comes to: gang assault.
Take it down, or we take you down.
You’d actually hurt me?
[Daniel explains to his new students what Cobra Kai is really about]
Cobra Kai sells power, strength, and when I joined I was, well, I was weak. It was 1985, I had just won my first All-Valley, and, Mr. Miyagi didn't want me to compete anymore. He never really like the idea of fighting for trophies in the first place. So, you know, I-we got into this big argument, and what did I do? I joined Cobra Kai. I learned to strike first, strike hard, show no mercy, and it turned me into an angry and violent kid. It changed me.
You never told me about any of this.
It's not something I'm proud of, Sam. And my point is anyone can be seduced by Cobra Kai, even me, and I'll admit: Cobra Kai makes you feel stronger, tougher, but it will also get you in trouble. And that's what happened to me. I'm just lucky Mr Miyagi was willing to take me back. So remember, it doesn't matter who anyone was before they stepped into this dojo. All that matters is that right now, today, we are all Miyagi-Do.
[Johnny and Tommy have some campfire drinks, but some things needed to be said]
Today was fun, Johnny.
You still got some moves, man. You should stop by the dojo sometime.
Yeah, right. Just like the good old days. [reflects] Man, where did all that time go?
I don't know.
Man, there was something I never told you. Didn't think you needed to know, but screw it. [deep breath] I was in love with Ali.
[smiles at him] What?
Yeah. Freshman year. We were in the same homeroom. We used to talk all the time. I was building up the courage to ask her out, [looks at Johnny] when someone else struck first. That's why I joined Cobra Kai. I wanted to have the balls that you had. Without the smell. [he and Johnny laugh and drink]
I don't think I ever really got over her. I mean, I dated plenty of babes after, but I never really let my guard down with any of them, you know? Not like with Ali.
You still got one thing that's more important than anything, Johnny.
What's that?
Time. You still have time.
Yeah. Time for what?
Meet someone new, change your life. Do what you wanna do.
I don't know. Right now, all I wanna do is make sure my students don't make the same mistakes that we did. I don't want them to look back at their life full of regret.
You'll do it, Johnny. [looks at him] You're the champ.
My Mom worked at this restaurant when I was little, and she would bring home leftovers so my brother and I had enough to eat. When her manager found out, he fired her. No warning, no notice. He said it was against company policy. She wasn't stealing; the food was gonna end up in the trash! The world shows no mercy. So why should we? Some people have it good, but the rest of us, we have to fight for every inch of what's ours. Not just to score a point. For everything.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cobra Kai pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
