Gareth and Janice in “Masterchef”

He dies. Everton Stonehead RIP.

Now, Gareth...

Look at that! It's not a person; it's a smirk on legs. He's unbearable! Two years of being a useless pain in the arse in my kitchen and now this.

Now, Gareth...

And listen to this: "I do feel the restraints of not having my own kitchen and having to conform to a dated and restricted cuisine!"

Now, Gareth, don't sack him straight away.

I'm not going to sack him straight away. I'm going to kill him straight away. Slowly and wickedly, revealing a hitherto unsuspected vicious strain of sadism in my psychological make-up.

Unsuspected?

Then I'll sack him, appending his P45 to his mutilated remains as a compassionate gesture, so only his nearest and dearest can identify him.