Carter, Phil and others in “Eggs”

All right, little man. You download the app I told you about?

I did, but I'm so anxious. I'm sweating through my Dolly Parton longjohns.

Oh, is it that neighborhood app? Oh, that stresses me out, too. Is it a million raccoons or are we all seeing the same raccoon?

No, I'm helping Phil put all his bills on auto pay.

This bitch is going digital!

All right, Phil, you press here, you'll see all your charges from last month. Damn, Phil, $3,500 on hearing aids?! Can't you just be like old-fashioned and hold up a funnel to your ear?

Well, I didn't buy 'em for me. I bought 'em for Henry.

Who's Henry?

He's a gentleman I met on Silver Shepherds. It's a dating app for gay Christian seniors.

Aw, good for you, Phil. It warms my heart to know you're out there rustling up some hot shepherd tail.

Well, we haven't actually met in person. We just chat on the phone.

Oh, so just a little phone sex?

You better walk that dirty mind back! Maybe a little.