[Late at night, Woody gets violently pinned against the wall of a dark alley by a brutal ruffian known as Manslaughter McGill]
I GOT YOU NOW, JOHNSON!
God dammit! I thought the one place I'd be safe is a dark dead-end, alley!
SHUT THE HELL UP! Now, give me the 20 grand you owe me!
I have got to stop betting on Quidditch! I thought Hufflepuff was due!
You'd better pay up now or I'm gunna take a glass rod, HEAT UP UP WITH A BLOW TORCH, AND STICK IT UP YOUR-
[Manslaughter gets a phone call from his wife]
Uh, heh heh. Just a second.
[Manslaughter answers it]
[nice and happy] Hello, deary! How's my lovely wife doing today? Oh, you need me to do the laundry? Oh, certainly, my love. I'll be right there in two shakes of a lamby's tail! Well, ta-ta for now! Hugs and kisses, sweety pie! Okay, bye-bye.
[Manslaughter hangs up and goes back to attacking Woody]
Heh, heh. Your wife makes you do the laundry?
[Manslaughter slams Woody against the wall]
SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU PATHETIC BITCH! Now listen. You'd better cough up the $20,000 you owe me OR I'M TAKING A LONG THICK GLASS ROD, TWICE YOUR SIZE, HEATING IT UP TO 20,000 DEGREES, ONE FOR EVERY BUCK YOU OWE ME, AND I AM SHOVING IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR...
[Manslaughter gets another phone call]
[nice and sweet] Hi, baby! Oh, Scooters went pee-pee on the rug? Well, I'll come home and clean it up, straight away! I love you more than rainbows! Bye bye.
[Manslaughter hangs up and goes back to attacking Woody]
SO ANYWAY, GLASS ROD, BLOW TORCH, AND IT'S GOING STRAIGHT UP YOUR-
[Manslaughter gets another phone call and while he answers, he strangles Woody in a choke hold]
[nice and cheery] Hi, bubblegum fairy! Ooh, you want me to pick up Hazelnut truffles from The Cheesecake Factory? Well, sure thing fluffy kitten. [meows]
[Manslaughter hangs up once again and goes back to attacking Woody]
NOW, WHERE WAS I!?
[choking] Glass rod? 20,000 Degrees?
Right. Thank you. ALRIGHT! I'M JUST GONNA CUT TO THE CHASE! GLASS ROD! 20,000 DEGREES! I'M GUNNA CRAM IT UP UP YOUR-
[choking] Wait! Hold on! Give me another chance! A bet! Double or nothing!
On what!?
[choking] Uh, hold on. Let me think.
[Woody thinks about Ethel's quote from earlier]
I'm winning the Miss National Park beauty pageant. It's the surest bet ever.
[choking] On Ethel Anderson winning the Miss National Park beauty pageant!
[Manslaughter lets Woody go]
Okay, you're on. [pins him to the wall once more] AND WHEN YOU LOSE, I'M GONNA TAKE THAT AFOREMENTIONED MOLTEN HOT GLASS ROD AND THRUST IT 500 MILES UP YOUR-
[Manslaughter gets another phone call and answers it]
[nice and lovely] Hi, little lamb. Eh-Leave Woody Johnson alone? Why?
[The camera shows that Woody is actually calling him on his phone]
[in a girly voice] Because he's a nice man.
[Manslaughter sees that it's him]
Well, what'd she say?
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