How much did you get for the deal?
$480,000. Saul's cut is 20%.
Jesse Alright, so where's my money? [Walter laughs] What?
You are joking, right? If I gave you that money, you would be dead inside of a week.
Yo man, look, I'm off the heroin. I didn't even like it anyway, it made me sick. And the meth, y'know, I could take it or leave it. I'm clean, Mr. White. For real.
[Walter tosses an empty beaker to Jesse]
How gay are you, seriously?
Pee in it! They're selling testing kits at the drug stores. If you are clean, I will give you every last dime. [beat; Jesse is silent] No, huh? Well, I guess until then, you'll just have to depend on the kindness of strangers to get high. That and your little junkie girlfriend.
[Jesse throws the beaker at Walter. Walter ducks and it shatters against the chalkboard]
No, no, it cannot be blind luck or some imaginary relative who saves us. No, I earned that money. Me! And now my son created his own website: SaveWalterWhite.com. Soliciting anonymous donations! Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?!
Well, look at that. It's got PayPal and everything.
Cyber-begging, that's all that is. Just rattling a little tin cup to the entire world.
[sarcastically] Yeah, there's no deep-seated issues there. Walter, I'm looking at the answer right here. It's staring me in the face. Do I have to spell it out for you?
I know, I know. You're thinking that I should be funneling money into my son's website, but absolutely not. No. I am not going to have my family think that some mystery benefactor saved us!
Not some mystery benefactor, singular. That would raise too many questions. However—stay with me here... Zombies. [chuckles] I got a guy who knows this guy, who knows this Rain Man type. Right? He lives with his mother in her basement in Belarus, alright? So good luck extraditing his fat Russian ass.
[Walter is about to leave when Saul stops him]
Wait, wait! He's a hacker-cracker extraordinaire. This guy can hijack random desktops all around the world, turn them into zombies that do his bidding. For instance, he can make it so 20, or 30,000 little donations come in from all over the U.S. and Canada. Ten, 20, 50 bucks a pop, all paid in full—nice and neat, untraceable—from the good-hearted people of the world to Mr. Walter H. White, cancer saint. Heh. I'm getting a warm and fuzzy feeling just thinking about it.
How the hell did you get this number? Did Jesse give it to you?
All Jesse wants is what's coming to him. No more, no less.
What are you talking about? He told you about the money?
So, what is this? Some kind of blackmail or something?
This is me telling you to do right by Jesse and bring him what you owe him. I don't call that blackmail. I call that getting off your ass, and being a decent human being.
Well, I call it blackmail. Dialing my number. Talking to my wife. And what's your end of this? How much heroin does a half a million dollars buy? [pause] For your information, I am holding Jesse's money for him, he will receive every last dollar of it. He will. Not you. At a time when I see fit. But I will not contribute to his overdose. Now, you tell him, if he gets clean–if you both get clean—
You know what? I take that back. This is blackmail. Because what I know about you–high school teacher turned drug dealer with a brother-in-law in the DEA–that'd make one hell of a story. National news, I'll bet. Do right by Jesse tonight or I will burn you to the ground.
[Later, Walter gives Jesse his half of their drug money]
[to Jesse] Nice job wearing the pants.
Do you know what this is?
It's a whole lot of cheddar.
This is freedom! This is saying I can go anywhere I want! I can be anybody! Who do you want to be? Where do you want to go? South America? Europe? Australia?
Is New Zealand part of Australia?
New Zealand is New Zealand!
Right on. New Zealand, that's where they, uh, that's where they made Lord of the Rings! I say we just move there, yo! I mean, you could do your art, right? Like, you could like paint the local castles and shit, and I can be a bush pilot!
[Jane's father, Donald, discovers Jesse in her bedroom and tries to throw him out. Jesse finds a baseball bat during the scuffle and threatens Donald with it]
What's with you, yo, huh?! 'Cause I will seriously bust you up!
DDonald
You miserable little smack-head! Get the hell out!
Hey, I pay my rent, bitch! Alright?! I got civil rights!
