Eddie and Richie in “Unfinished Business”

Hey, my Great Uncle was in the Great War.

What do mean 'Great War', there aren't any great wars, they were all frightful.

Alright then he was in the crap war!

Wow! The crap war! Far out! Which side was he on?

Both.

Wow!

Well it depended on which direction he was facing at the time y'know. Had a little bit of a drink problem. He took out a machine-gun nest single-handly you know!

Did he?

Yeah...But they made him bring it back, he was trying to flog it to the Germans

Hey, wasn't he the last bloke shot before the Armistice?

Yes, that's right. Just firing off a few rounds in celebration but... stupid twat had his gun the wrong way round. Oh, they don't make 'em like Great Uncle Susan any more.

That's marvellous stuff Eddie, but... what the fuck's it got to do with anything?

It's gas!

Yes, I know it's gas. I'm not a complete tosser.

Yes, you are.

Well, I am a complete tosser, yes, but what d'you mean?