Right, so your philosophy is... bollocks?
Yes!
Well that's an unusual philosophical stance.
Yeah, I think I put my trousers on too quickly just now. But stick to the point, Eddie, I thought we were talking philosophy?
Well, we were, but your philosophy is bollocks!
So let's talk bollocks!
BUT THAT'S ALL WE EVER DO!
So let's do what we always do!
Oh god, and so it goes on, day after day, year in year out, slime in this ear, slime in that ear, don't you ever yearn for change?
[Huge applause from the audience]
Alan Rickman eat your heart out! [towards Richie] And cue.
[Looks at the audience who seems to have taken Eddie's side] Right. Wanna give me the feedline again in front of all your friends?
[Laughs to himself] Yeah, sorry. I... I forgot to mention I was actually born in Southampton! It's good to be home!
[Another huge applause]
Oh, Eddie, Eddie, you were born in Southampton? WOW! Why did you ever leave?
That was a bit below the belt. [thinks of a comeback] Because... I found the railway station!
[Another huge applause]
[towards the audience] Stop fucking clapping! [imitates them] Bastards! [towards someone in the front of the upper circle] Especially you! You oughtta fucking jump!
That's no way to talk to my mother [towards the audience] Sorry Mum.
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