[Returning from a spot of looting during the annual Hammersmith riot]
You dropped it!
Yeah, well i was being run over by the riot squad!
Well, two wrongs dont make a right, young man. Just because you're being run over doesn't mean you have to smash a television set! I could have been watching Sophie Grigson peeling a banana (Mimics peeling a banana), or washing a cucumber (Mimics washing a cucumber), or anything!
She's married.
I know. To the wrong bloke!
Still, at least we got the duck.
(Holds up a rubber duck)
The duck?
Yeah, it's made out of plastic!
Eddie, what in the name of Greek buggery is the use of a plastic duck?
It floats in the bath. [Puts duck in Richie's face] Hello!
Why?
It's hollow!
[exasperated] Why the duck?!
It came free with the telly.
Eddie, everything came free with the telly, we were looting! Why didn't you get a free telly with the telly?!
Well, then it would sink in the bath!
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